True love re-done

The Lord above created you for me to love
He picked me out of all the rest
Because he knew I would love you best
I had a heart and it was true
but now its gone from me to you
take care of it as I have done
for you have two and I have none
If I should die before you do
In heaven I will wait for you
If your not there on judgment day
Then I'll know you have gone the other way
So I'll give up my wings
Golden halo and other things
And just to prove my love is true
I'll got to hell and wait for you

That was a very amazing and insightful poem. I wish i could write poems like that! I really loved it and I can't find anything bad to say its so great

Like Soulkana said the poem is really deep, in that it is strewn with emotions. One awesome thing is that those emotions are driven automatically from the flow and word choice. I also likes how you incorporated the End Rhyme (? I think that is what it is called), with a pattern of ABBCCDDEEFFGGCC. I always think poems with this end rhyme turn out better, or at least if the style of poem your writing is more emotional or meant to convey a story.

My .02$

~Day

Hey Loxi

I like this I think it's sweet, and it's a nice change to the common 'you broke my heart so I'll break yours' poems. To say that you'd die for someone you love is one thing, but to say you'll go to hell for them is a daring and powerful thing to say.

And you were right, this poem is perfect the way it is. I'm wondering if it was written with someone special in mind

Veiyloxx wrote:The Lord above created you for me to love
He picked me out of all the rest
Because he knew I would love you best
I had a heart and it was true
but now its gone from me to you
take care of it as I have done
for you have two and I have none
If I should die before you do
In heaven I will wait for you
If your not there on judgment day
Then I'll know you have gone the other way
So I'll give up my wings
Golden halo and other things
And just to prove my love is true
I'll got to hell and wait for you

Hey again Veiy. I normally like your poems. Like this one. The last few lines seemed nice.
~Ladypurple.

*Locked*

Plagiarism.