Mathematical Poetry

Awww... this is so sweet!

...I think I am in love with you now.

It's just... when I read it, I got this sudden picture of your stomach flopping on my kitchen table and twisting about it in a peculiar manner. Perhaps you ought to use a different body part?

oh, god - i think i'm in love with you, too. very sweet.
the mathematical jumble was a bit much to work through, but it all made sense.
i agree with snoink on another note, as well - the stomach thing...i get it, it's real, but i got a similar images. except i imagined all of this in my odd little 8th grade algebra room, rolling across gray desks =]

more spaces, maybe, too? or maybe big paragraphs just scare me.
ending = perfect.

I am really bad at critiquing poetry, so I usually don't even take the time to comment on them around the YWS, but I just needed to stop in and tell you how much I liked this. I loved all the mathematical references and I didn't find them hard to follow at all. It all flowed together really nicely and the last line was just perfect. Really, nicely done.

Math? Love? Poetry? I hardly knew the three could mix so well, so naturally.

What Empress Kat said. And for everybody's information, I loved him first
No, just kidding, everybody loves brad.... *looks around*

I dig the last bit. Some of it is...well, forced. I suppose it would have to be, but it's just, I donno, to a level that turns me off a bit. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think this is good--well, it's you, and you're a good poet. But it's also just sort of this pretty little love poem thing that everyone writes ten thousand times before they die, even if they're not poets, and so I can' like it for that reason as well. A forced poem in a cliche category. It's a tribute to your talent that I still think it's good.

I agree with most of the comments made. This was excellent. It's very sweet. Keep writing!

-*-*--Diana--*-*-

I liked it. One thing I would have preferred was if you never mentioned the actual love, and just insinuated it through the metaphor of math. I think there was one line in there that didn't. Nice work.