The Wonders of Solitude

If you talk to yourself
When you are alone,
You are just thinking.
If you are selfish
When you are alone,
You are just giving.

If you are attacked
When you are alone,
No one will save you.
But if you are attacked
When you are alone,
The attacker is you.

If someone is in your heart,
When you are alone,

You are not alone.

Thanks for reading! I know it's kind of rough still, especially the transition into the last couple of lines, so please let me know what you think I should fix. You guys= awesommmme.

wow thats good i like it. keep up the good work

Hi!

So, I think this was a cute little poem. It's definitely well-written and very simple, which is the kind of narrative that I really like. You've covered an idea that's original and fresh. However, I think there could definitely be more. As of now, the ideas in this poem are just sort of presented and never really explained or covered. You mention what happens when someone is alone, but never what it is like to have that feeling. Are you talking about being physically alone or mentally alone? You imply toward both but neither is really developed more then the other.

There's little to no imagery in this, and thus we don't get a sense of actually being within the realm of the poem. Take the first part of your first stanza, for instance--what are some of the things people talk to themselves about? Give examples. The last couple of lines felt a little bit confusing. I get what you're trying to say, but the wording just feels off. "You're alone but you're not really alone?" There's kind of a big jump, so maybe what you could do is include build-up. After stating the examples and showing us them, does the subject of this poem (I'm assmuming the different cases in this are being applied to the same person, right) wallow for a bit and then think of their loved one?

Anyway, just some thoughts. Hope this helps! PM me if you have any questions.

-Elinor x

That was kinda of adorable in a weird way. I totally agree with Elinor Brynn. You could add so much more and make this poem more amazing then it already is. This poem has a certain something to it, and I'm not sure what, but it makes it really good.
Keep Writing
~WickedWonder

I like this poem. I'm not sure what, but something made me want to read it and I wasn't disappointed. I also agree with the others, you could have added more to this. But well done anyway, and KEEP WRITING!

TIGERSPRITE

Hi there! I'm Sporks, and I'll review this today

This is such a nice little poem. I like the message it conveys. However, it was quite short. I think you can expand on it a lot, covering what happens to someone who is alone like that, or what it's like to be alone in general. You could take this poem from great to amazing in that way.

Peace!

Sporks

I loved it! I love, love, loved it! Amazing! Usually I would tell people to add more imagery, but in this case I think it would ruin the poem. It is perfect the way it is! I like how it is simple but very deep and emotional in its simplicity. (if that made any sense.) Amazing! Keep writing!

-KAH

Hey, I really liked this poem! The title is very appropriate and the poem itself was excellently described. Kudos to you for writing the first poem I have ever reviewed! XD (Or was it second? Hm...)

OK, I agree with most of the others, the last few lines seemed sudden, and the words didn't quite fit together. If you could change them from

If someone is in your heart,
When you are alone,

You are not alone.

to, maybe, 'But if someone is in your heart,/When you are alone,/You are not truly alone.'
Or 'You are not alone./You have a friend.'

I'm not a poetry expert, and my recommendation is probably not the best, but I hope this helped.

Keep writing! Again, this was very good.