The Interlopers**Due tomorrow. Please review.**

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This is an essay for my English class. I need reviews ASAP. All of this is on short stories we've read. I'm sorry if you get lost. I've got a strict teacher... so tear it apart. Thanks.


“The Interlopers” by Saki is a story of bitter hatred, grudging reconciliation, and the unmerciful acts of nature. Ulrich von Gradwitz and Georg Znaeym are two men who have continued a long lasting feud. To add to their own conflict mother nature complicates a night of hunting, finally ending both of their lives.
“But a man who has been brought up under the code of a restraining civilization cannot easily nerve himself to shoot his neighbor in cold blood.” Both men yearn for the other's end; both wait and pray for the day they can send condolences to a widow. Yet society has turned them away from committing the actual deed. Though they can bring themselves to hate and wish ill will neither harbor the complete lack of morals it takes to kill a man without hesitation. Georg Znaeym is a man of jealousy. He sees no reason not to hunt on land the courts have deemed another's if taken from his family with trickery. Znaeym refuses an offering of wine from his enemy, Ulrich von Gradwitz, saying, “No, I can scarcely see anything' there is so much blood caked round my eyes, and in any case I don't drink wine with enemies.” Georg is a proud man. He is a man who won't accept help from any outside his circle of friends and family. He will not admit defeat or pain. Ulrich von Gradwitz is the one to offer the wine, the first movement toward friendship, “In the pain and languor that Ulrich himself was feeling the old fierce hatred seemed to be dying down.” The first glimmer of forgiveness, of pity is found in Ulrich. Ulrich is merciful, though he has wanted to kill Georg as much as Georg has him. He is more mature, because he can put all the bad feelings aside in a time of need.
This story is full of conflicts. The whole theme is how foolish small quarrels are. The small quarrel is man verses man between Znaeym and von Gradwitz. “As boys they had thirsted for one another's blood, as men each prayed misfortune might fall on the other.” This rivalry has been going on for all of their lives. All of this time they have been fighting over over a forest. This forest, ironically, gives them a bigger, slightly more important problem to focus on. “A fierce shriek of the storm had been answered by a splitting crash over their heads, and ere they could leap aside a mass of falling tree had thundered down upon them.” As they are arguing over Conflict Number One a tree falls on them, producing Conflict Number Two, a man verses nature conflict. Finally, Conflict Number Three is also man verses nature. “Who are they?”
“Wolves.”
Ulrich sees forms in the distance, and both men cry for help, assuming the forms are men. When they get close enough to be seen clearly Ulrich realizes that these forms are in fact wolves. The wolves then eat the two men trapped under the birch tree. That is the end of Conflict Number Three and the conclusion of the story.
This short story is ironic in a cruel way the other three stories could not produce. The two men find peace to a feud that has been going on for at least three generations trapped by a tree in the forest that is the root of their animosity. That is ironic in itself. Then, before anyone can be told that a treaty has been made they are eaten, silenced forever. “Good,” snarled Georg, “good. We fight this quarrel out to the death, you and I and our foresters, with no cursed interlopers to come between us.” The court was the interloper Znaeym was speaking of, getting in between the two families and their argument. The wolves are the true interlopers though, and they do not come between the men but between peace and goodness. “No one living can remember seeing a Znaeym and a von Gradwitz talking to one another in friendship. And what peace there would be among there would be among the forester folk if we ended our feud tonight and if we choose to make peace among our people tonight there is none other to interfere, no interlopers... Ulrich von Gradwitz I will be your friend.” The men never get to make peace among their people because of the cursed interlopers, the wolves. “There was silence again for some minutes and then Ulrich gave a joyful cry.
“I can see figures coming through the wood. They are following in the way I came down the hillside.” Ulrich is happy about figures, and then they turn out to be the wolves, the interlopers that bring his death. Each of the short stories we have read have been ironic in one way or another but this one takes the cake.
“The Interlopers” is most similar to “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell. In both the characters are avid hunters, and that hobby leads to the man verses man conflict. General Zaroff found his end with the help of his cockiness, and Znaeym and von Gradwitz are killed with the forest they both see as theirs. In both stories characters are killed with something in their possession, and irony can be found in that situation. There is a conflict between men, and the only resolution either see at the beginning is death. Canines are the direct cause of death in both stories, and thus nature confronts men in a man verses nature conflict.
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Eek, sorry I am so late! I didn't see this till now. :(

I'm going to make my comments general so that you can have some advice for your next works!

First of all, your analysis is very thorough... something that you should be proud of! That's very good. :)

Now, the next thing you'll want to work on is your organization of your ideas. Your flow of thought is hard to read, mostly due to your lack of transitions and your paragraphs structure. Also... your essay lacks a thesis, which is highly sad! What is a thesis, you ask? Well... it's what you're trying to prove, in one little condensed sentence. Your thesis, right now, is this:

“The Interlopers” by Saki is a story of bitter hatred, grudging reconciliation, and the unmerciful acts of nature.

And this might be all right, except your essay doesn't really try to prove these points. It tries to prove something else. Which makes me wonder... what do you want to talk about, as far as this story goes? Would you like to talk about the irony of the forest eating them up, after all the conflict they've had over it? Would you like to talk about "The Most Dangerous Game" and compare it with this story? Would you like to talk about small quarrels and how foolish they are? These are all topics that you can focus on, which will help improve your essay and help your focus. Contrary to popular belief, teachers don't actually want to have every analysis that you can make of a story. They want you to concentrate on something big and analyze it very thoroughly -- something you can do already. So, really, this is making it easier. ;)

A possible thesis for this would be:

In "The Interlopers," Saki uses irony to illustrate the foolishness of small quarrels between men over nature by showing how nature will inevitably destroy man.

It's a sucky thesis, but you can see how I took the main idea (as I saw it!) and condensed it into a sentence. Then, the rest of your essay is about proving this statement...which you've pretty much have done in this essay, so yay! But please note that this is all about proving the thesis statement. So, it's really really important.

Now, the organization. This is why the thesis statement is so important. Every paragraph has to refer to the thesis statement and try to prove it. Had you used your old thesis statement, an outline would have looked like this:

“The Interlopers” by Saki is a story of bitter hatred, grudging reconciliation, and the unmerciful acts of nature.

Brief summary of story.

This story shows bitter hatred by...

This story shows grudging reconciliation by...

This story shows unmerciful acts of nature by...

That's an outline, of course. With your real essay, you would want to switch up the words to make it smoother. :)

With my thesis, you would have an outline that looked like this:

In "The Interlopers," Saki uses irony to illustrate the foolishness of small quarrels between men over nature by showing how nature will inevitably destroy man.

Brief summary of story

Saki uses irony by...

The foolishness of small quarrels between men is demonstrated by...

This story shows how nature will inevitably destroy men by...

And that's basically what it would look like!

Now, note the brief summary of the story. It's really handy to first give a brief summary of the story first, especially to bring out all the points that you want to bring out. Don't quote, in this case, just summarize. It'll really help and you can refer to it later.

Now, let's look at your conclusion. For your conclusion, you compared this with "The Most Dangerous Game." However, you mostly compare it with the actual happenings of the story rather than the deeper meaning... and in this case, the deeper meaning is more important. The last sentence should also be a really heavy kind of sentence that ties these stories and the world together. That way, it'll show that you can take your analysis and apply it to real life. Teachers love that sort of stuff! It shows that you're actually thinking. ;)

Also, for comparisons... you should probably point out how the stories are not related as well. That way, it's a fairer comparison. :D

Ahhh! I am sooo sorry this is so late! If you need any help in the future, feel free to just bug me by posting on my wall! And, here's hoping you do wonderfully on your paper. :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Thanks for the reply. The teacher actually gave me three topics I had to follow in three different paragraphs and then told me what my conclusion had to be... So I couldn't focus on just the irony though I must admit that was my favorite part of this essay. I had to describe the characters, tell of conflicts within the story, talk of irony, especially during the end, and, for my conclusion, compare it to another short story we've read.

I know that my comparison paragraph was weak. I actually told my parents that when they were reading over this. I almost added a second conclusion paragraph because I felt like this wasn't... but I didn't want to deduct points in some way. This teacher is kind of wierd like that.

Anyway, those tips are great, and I'll try to follow them on my next essay which I'm sure will be soon. AP prep is harder than I thought.
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