Let me live

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I had always been unsure,
Questioned but never dared speak aloud –
The doubts that I feared
Would leave me in the black pit
I had been flung into.

The other seemed so…
Sure.
Filled to the brim with faith,
While I merely got the leftover
Remnants that no others wanted.

I wanted to ask them so many things.
How do you believe so surely?
Why is it so obvious to you that He exists?
While I find it hard to grasp the concept
Of who “He” really is.

Will I go to hell
If I can’t believe as easily as you do?
Will I got to hell
If I don’t know what to believe?

I don’t want to go to Hell.
I don’t want to go to Hell.
I believe, I swear I believe.
I promise I’ll pray everyday,
And I’ll go to mass every Sunday.
Trying to believe.
Please don’t let me go to Hell.

I want to live.
Dear God,
Please let me live.
-mors aut honorabilis vita-


Forget the prince with a horse, I want a vampire with a volvo.




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I thought this was a great poem! I love the emotion conveyed throughout and the use of questions. We have similiar writing styles, so I found this piece particularly interesting. I also enjoyed your rich metaphors. Overall, great work, keep it up, I look forward to reading other work by you.




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I really enjoyed reading this poem and liked your use of questions throughout the poem. However, some of your repetitions did get a little boring and could get slimmed down a bit to make it easier on the eye. But overall, I found it very interesting and how you refer to people/things instead of saying their names outright.

Keep writing,

~Crimson
Avatar (c) to Thalia - A great friend of mine




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I liked this poem a lot. At first I didn't think it would be about religion, but then farther in I understand what it is that you are writing about and why you wrote this. I think that you could work on this a little but more, just to fix up some lose ends...

The other seemed so…Should there be a "s" on the end of "other"?? The way the sentence is now doesn't make sence...


And I’ll go to mass every Sunday.
Trying to believe.
<< I think that you need to add "I'm" to the begianing of this line...]


Ohter than that I don't see anything wrong... Keep working!

~Rain~
Last edited by SilentRain on Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Theres always a rainbow after the Rain!!!!!!!




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I like this poem. It played with my emotions, which is interesting because I have the same kind of doubts. I think you might want to try to fix up your beginning just a little bit, because it feels choppy and....just wierd. Other than that, I love it. I really think you got to the point, and i love the last two stanzas, though I think saying I dont want t go to hell twice is kind of repeptetive. These are just suggestions though, do NOT feel obliged to change ANYTHING! Because it alsoo theway it i now.
When all you have is nothing, there is alot to go around.



Almost all absurdity of conduct rises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.
— Samuel Johnson