When the world finally goes silent

I know nothing of poetry, so this was cool. I thought it had a very real, cool take on this. It brought us into everything, to see how things had changed amongst society. How people began to lose their minds, their talents, and slowly things began to dwindle away to nothingness! Very compelling!

The philosopher has lost his mind,
The artist has lost his brush,
The poet has lost his pencil,
And the singer has lost his voice.

Should these be semi-colons or something?

The philosopher has lost his mind;
The artsist has lost his brush; etc.

Now, I really liked this poem overall. I can't say I found anything really that I didn't like. There was great flow, and great description to take us into the poetry and see it as it is. I'd have to say my favourite verse is the final one:

And nature has grown too old,
And laws have all been bent.
And the world has now grown silent,
And the universe hasn't blinked.

I think that is my favourite verse of all -- despite the magnificent description in others -- because while we worry about what happens in our world, and how we're affected, suddenly you bring the perspective out into the full picture. And boom -- while we may be suffering, we're nothing in the massive universe. We're simply there. Once we've ended, it is nothing in the universe. A great poem. Thumbs up. C:

Interesting piece... the imagery was beautiful. I would consider giving some change in the structure of your phrasing to give more of a conclusion, but otherwise, I don't have much to say. Great job.

This was really good. I liked it bunches because it flowed well and had an effortless yet serious "air" about it.

I loved this poem! I thought it flowed smoothly for the most part, and I like the analogies you use. The rhyme scheme worked for you wholelistically but it was kind of awkward in soem stanzas, specifically the last. Keep up the good writing, I look forward to reading your other pieces!

Wow, i really liked this poem. Even when the words didn't quite rhyme it sounded good. And i liked the way you had all the and's on the last verse. I think it flows nicely.
I thought you could change those last two verses to something like this though.

Emotion has grown cold
Passion is gone and lost
Paradise is missing
In a frigid layer of frost

And nature has grown too old
And laws have all been bent
And the world has now grown silent
But the universe hasn't blinked

Just a thought.

It's good....Keep up the good work!

Congratulations! You're my first review!
And my first praise, coincidentally.

I really enjoyed this poem from beginning to end. Though it definitely could use a bit of tweaking, I found it a very compelling and emotional poem.
Just a couple nitpicks:

The lovers have all grown tired,
The jokers are all sad,
The fathers are all pensive,
And the mothers are all dead.

Up until the fourth stanza, every other line rhymed. When you used the slant rhyme in the fourth stanza, it sort of threw off the rhythm of the poem.

Emotion has grown cold,
Passion all gone lost,
Paradise gone missing,
In a frigid layer of frost.

Again here I feel like the rhythm is being disrupted. You don't use as many syllables in this stanza as you do in the other ones, which caused me to stumble a bit as I read it to myself. Wording it a bit differently would fix this problem easily. Something like this, maybe?

Emotion has grown cold,
And passion has been lost,
With our paradise gone missing
In a frigid layer of frost.

It rolls off the tongue easier, I guess.

Other than that, I feel this poem is awesome. Your visionary work is excellent.
Cheers! I look forward to reading more of your work~

Just a quick review...

I really really really love the first verse

The philosopher has lost his mind,
The artist has lost his brush,
The poet has lost his pencil,
And the singer has lost his voice.

I like the idea that without the philosophers and artists and poets and singers that the world would grow cold and silent...

I think this poem would be better if the whole poem rhymed... I liked how it rhymed in the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, and 6th stanzas...

If the other stanzas rhymed it would sound better, like for the first you could rearrange the lines and change some words to make it rhyme...

The artist has lost his brush,
and the philosopher has lost his mind.
The poet has lost his pencil,
And the singer has left his voice behind.

As for the other verses that don't rhmye I'm not sure, but I think that if the whole poem went by that ABCB rhyme scheme the poem would sound and flow a a lot better...

~Rain~

This is a very beautiful poem! The way every object seems to be doing quite the opposite of what it is supposed to, forms a generally attractive and pleasing concept. Well done!
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