When the world finally goes silent

The philosopher has lost his mind,
The artist has lost his brush,
The poet has lost his pencil,
And the singer has lost his voice.
-
Grayness encapsulates the earth,
A shell around our sphere.
And the people have all gone silent,
The streets have all gone clear.
-
A drop of water trickles down,
But we are unaware.
The thunderstorm is closing in
And we don't even care.
-
The lovers have all grown tired,
The jokers are all sad,
The fathers are all pensive,
And the mothers are all dead.
-
The fires don't even start to burn,
They're gone before they're here,
And the wind has all stopped blowing,
Without a single tear.
-
Emotion has grown cold,
Passion all gone lost,
Paradise gone missing,
In a frigid layer of frost.
-
And nature has grown too old,
And laws have all been bent.
And the world has now grown silent,
And the universe hasn't blinked.

Oh. My. Goodness. I just had a moment of "Wow". That was so beautiful. Look...I don't say this very often, because I don't cry, and I don't like to let people think I cry, but I really wanted to--cry that is. In a good way. So that's all. Just thought I should let you know. I don't have any critiques, because to do that there would have to be something wrong. And quite frankly, it's perfect.
Thank you.

(Seriously.)

Hey i really like this poem. The only part that doesnt seem to fit is the last stanza

And nature has grown too old,
And laws have all been bent.
And the world has now grown silent,
And the universe hasn't blinked.

Maybe you could use

Nature has grown too old,
And laws have all been bent.
The world has now grown silent,
The universe hasn't blinked

Its just the last line that didnt seem to read as well as the rest of the lines. Maybe you could even change

And the universe hasnt blinked

to the universe is yet to blink.

i liked this poem because it was very powerful. it had little mistakes. i liked it:)

Wow. I love the flow and it doesn't even feel forced *gasp*! The emotion is really powerful and the rhythm is good.
I can't write poems as good as this. Good job.
~Ladypurple.

this was pretty beautiful, but i have a problem with the consistency of the rhyme. in some stanzas the second line rhymes with the last, in others they don't. that kind of frustrated me.

And nature has grown too old,
And laws have all been bent.
And the world has now grown silent,
And the universe hasn't blinked.

i didn't like all the 'and's here. it would be more effective without them.
all in all, it was a lovely read. it wasn't really the type that grabbed me from the start, but as i read on i liked it more.

Well, your poem doesn't move. It's describing one moment in time, pretty boring, eh? And this is very list like, again pretty boring.

Aah!finally a poem with meaning, it really makes the reader feel the emotions that the writers trying to convey.
one thing though:

13timmy24 wrote:Emotion has grown cold,
Passion all gone lost,
Paradise gone missing,
In a frigid layer of frost.

passion all gone lost.(correct me if I'm wrong)but I'm pretty sure passion is singular. So it cant 'all' gone lost.And gone doesn't fit either..i don't know maybe its just me, but good job with the poem.
-ShayM

Yikes, I just got chills. I not a poet but I know something beautiful when I see it. I loved it!
It's just too bad they don't have a 'Love' button, so I guess I'll just have to 'Like this' haha.
I don't have a review review for this so sorry but I couldn't help myself, I had to post something.

~Pink

It's amazing all the way. I would hate to find out what life would be like without my passion.

I like this poem a lot, but it could use a little tweaking. The only thing I really have left by way of criticism that no one else has already said is that the meter needs some work--it's a bit inconsistent in parts. You seem to mostly be using regular iambic meter, but a few lines fall into a dactyl meter. I'll use these two lines in the second verse as an example of what I mean, with the naturally stressed syllables in bold:

And the people have all gone silent,
The streets have all gone clear.

The first line is what's called dactyl meter (except for at the very end). Dactyl is a Greek word, I believe it means or refers to having two feet. Feet=syllables. So a dactyl meter has one stressed syllable followed by two unstressed syllables, whereas iambic (which the second line is) has one stressed syllable followed by on unstressed. Does that make sense?

That being said, it was a really good poem. I especially loved the imagery; you did a very good job on that! I liked how you named commonly known things such as artists, singers, etc, and then took away the thing that made them that to illustrate your point. Good job!

That is great, really a great one. It was so natural and everything was in a very good flow!

But I liked it most because of the reason of the poem which you explained very well without loosing your control on the poem!

Really good poem, seriously. I don't really have much to say about it that hasn't been said but I just wanted to tell you that I really liked the line:

A shell around our sphere.

Like, it put this awesome image in my head as I was reading and definitely got me hooked from the start.

I loved this poem, and what's awesome is I was listening to a song by Never Shout Never, called the day that music died, which really helped me get into the poem. Horray for coincidences!

I really like this poem. The rhyming is fantastic and it doesn't feel forced at all. I also like the overall flow. Anyway, this is a really good poem, and I think you should definitely keep up the good work.