The Curse

Help me I don't know what I'm doin
Help me before I fall to ruin
And if I'm blind, I will lead you on
Come follow me now, before our time is gone

And as you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as I'm howling at the moonlight, don't you kid yourself
I will be your luck and never your curse

Help me I don't know what I'm saying
Sometimes this tongue can be betraying
And if I'm wrong, is that such a crime?
And if you want, you can set my words to right

And as you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as I'm howling at the moonlight, don't you kid yourself
I will be your luck

And if your eyes forget to well
And if your lies forget to tell
And if our paths forget to cross
It doesn't mean you're lost

So as you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as I'm howling at the moonlight, don't you kid yourself
I will be your luck

If you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as I'm howling at the moonlight, don't you kid yourself
I will be your luck
Cause even at my worst
I will be your luck
never be your curse

You had excellent rhythm in this song. I liked it very much. I think in the first line of the fifth stanza, though, you meant "too well" instead of "to well".

Keep writing!
-*-*--Diana--*-*-

Overall, I liked this. And Diana, I get what you're saying, but I think she meant "to well" as in well with tears.

"Let me rid my self of any line that I might use to trip you up" This doesn't fit with the rhythm. I like the idea, but is there a better way you could break this down?

Also, in the 2nd and 3rd choruses, you don't have "and never your curse". Is this intentional?

Good job. Keep it up. :thumb:

...Isn't that song by Audioslave? It's a really great song, but you might want to say you didn't write it so people don't get confused.

Yep, it's by Audioslave.

Check it out:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/audioslave/thecurse.html