So, I've NEVER and I mean it when I say NEVER wrote a poem before...EVER! But, I'm feeling a little perky and daring so I thought, what the heck, I'll just write one. So here it is....

Forbidden love is the apple you cannot bite,
The skin you cannot touch,
And the air you dare not breath.

It is the song you cannot sing,
The lips you cannot taste,
And the dream you dare not dream.

It is the harmony you cannot hear,
The fragrance you cannot smell,
And the light you dare not see.

Oh, how I long for my forbidden love.
Oh, how it calls for me.

So there it is *hides her face* I hope you all like it

Wow... I have to say, I really like this! ... You say you haven't written before? If you had not of said that I would not have guessed that! I would be quite interested to see what else you can come up with.

I'm not usually into poems that don't rhyme, but you made it work *Two thumbs up*

Wow! this is great!! expesaly for your first poem!!! I really like how you use all you sences to describe the forbide love!!! It's great!!!

I agree with the others, this is a really great poem- and I wouldnt have guessed it was your first, either.
There is no rhyming, which I like, because I hate rhyming haha And you made the poem flow really nice, I started singing it in my head.
And its really straight-foward, I like it alot.
-fRiEs

Hello there

This was actually not bad at all for a first try, in fact I would have NEVER guessed. I liked the parts where you used "dare not" in the last lines of the stanzas, nice touch.
I was a bit disappointed with the last stanza or last two lines...(alright, I'm known for hijacking people's ideas so bear with me )
Maybe you could have emphasized more on how you absolutely live for what you can't have, "forbidden". you know. display that bad girl side of you and how you don't care; to extend the last two lines a bit and give the poem a dramatic action packed, thought provoking ending!

Good job anyhow, and continue writing poems

This was a nice poem, especially for your first try. Your imagery was nice, and you had good metaphors and similes. However, it did feel a slight bit repetitive at times. On the other hand, I loved the theme and the way you ended the poem. Keep at it~bluewaterlily.

Alright, I agree with everyone else...I NEVER would have guessed that this was your first poem ever. So don't hide your face, you did a really good job, I'm not even the slightest bit kidding. I also agree with all of the words you used to describe the love that is forbidden, as it feels like that to everyone else. How it feels like everything is out of reach. You did an amazing job, and I think you should write some more and post them on here because it's honestly amazing.

-Street Rat

Ok. Flower here and I will be your reviewer for the evening.

Well, first off this is very nice to be your first poem. The first poem I wrote was truly awful, so I give you credit for writing something good.

I think that it is very, what is the word, plain though. There isn't anything particularly important about it. It doesn't tell why the love is forbidden, it doesn't really tell us anything about the story. I think you should tell us more about the forbidden love, and show us a new side of you. Why do you want the forbidden love?

Besides that I really think you did a good job. Keep writing and excel to new heights in your writing. If you need anything feel free to pm me.

-Flower-

I found this very passionate. The title corresponded to the theme which I found to be extremely helpful. The language is short but sweet, and leaves you wanting a bit more. A part of me wishes this was not a poem but something longer, however I found this quite enjoyable to read although the last line is somewhat cliche. With that said, sometimes playing along to cliches work in your favour and this is no exception. Ultimately very well written, descriptive, and dare I say, sultry by writing standards. Remember, the journey of a thousand pages begins with the first word.

Sincerely,
-Elitehusky

*Sniff*
I don't think everyone can say this, because I don't know about everyone on here, but I can really relate to this in a sort of weird and off way.
Anyway, it was kind of sad to me, because I took my own interpretation on it and so I'm like, ":(" at the end of it.
But-!!! That doesn't mean I didn't like it. On the contrary, for a first time, I thought it was wonderful. I was mentally prepared for something far worse, since you said it was your first time writing a poem, so I was happy to find that it wasn't bad at all. And was, in fact, quite good. : )

Short, sweet, and to the point!
It's a winner in my book!

On the other hand, it's a bit... of a tiring subject.
And, the phrasing is a bit... predictable.

Still, I like it!

Invisible hugs to you all for such lovely reviews, never did I expect to get so many, and such positive ones too! I actually wrote this to compliment a story I'm working on. In it there are two character's who love each other but know that they can never be together. Anyway, love you all, and thanks again x

Enjoyed this. A little predicatable, yes, but I could relate, and that's what poetry is about, I think.
Very good, keep up the good work! (:

It wasn't too bad. As far as poems go i liked it.

C.S.

short, sweet and it get's your point across effectively without having to glamourise it with long, winding words. very well done!