Kidding. Maybe. Maybe I'm kidding. But here it is! It's super long, so rip it to shreds and then burn the remains. I know you want to. ---
There is a lamp post on the right side of the river Breede
How far away, no one can tell, but it’s of no matter, this heed;
Under it is a man, with a neon pink umbrella
On his shoulder a yellow cat, previously called Stella
Both man and cat had similar grins
Both with a story, and with that, this story begins…
The man with no name who owns the yellow cat
Wears a black scarf, and a ring master’s hat
On his feet, what else but leather
Over his eyes, a mask, on each side a brown feather
When he was young, he was poor, his mother was sick
And when she died, he cried, and took but one candle stick
With that stick, he traveled the world
His hair grew long, his rugged beard swirled
He was on a boat, whose flag showed a boar
And an all manner of people pulled at the oar
There were seven oars, but only five men
And so they swapped, over and over again
Soon the captain died and the man took over
However, he was not kind, and not a sea rover
The crew rebelled and threw him overboard
Into the rolling sea, with no rank and no hoard
In it he tossed and nearly he drowned
But up came a mermaid, and turned him around
She gave him his hat, his mask, and a fleet
She tossed him in the air, and a deck met his feet
For years he was a pirate, a lord of the sea
But a pirating life, alas, does get lonely
He handed back his ships to the mermaid
She didn’t take them with a smile, so a pact was made
The man was to hunt down a ship, and sink it to the sand
It was only after that that he could return to sweet land
On another ship was a cat, yellow and proud
She rode barrels and was yet to be cowed
In the mornings she stole guns, in the evenings artifacts
But one night, dear Stella, didn’t want to give one back
It was a precious globe, in the middle a fish
The captain threw a knife, and she made a boat of a dish
She was tossed and turned, and turned and tossed
Until the man on the boat was who she came across
They took to each other like spaghetti and sauce
One could not be found without the other down the course
But one night the man couldn’t be more glum
He hadn’t found the ship, and soon the mermaid would come
She wouldn’t be happy, for it had been a year
And he still hadn’t finished the mission she held dear
On that night, the moon shone bright
Of course a full circle, a beautiful sight
The cat was desperate to save her new friend
He couldn’t get captured, and she had a favor to spend
She opened her mouth and screamed to the moon
It opened blue eyes and spread the wings of a loon
It flew to the boat and pulled the man from his cabin
The cat forgot to tell him what would happen
He howled at the moon and she frowned down at him
She didn’t have hands, just wings, so a kiss stopped the din
The man shut up and so did the moon
She reverted to human shape, and spent the night with the man on a dune
They’d fallen in love, but the moon soon lost interest
There was a man called Orion that had already caught her interest
She was upset to cross Orion, and dropped the man like that
He was left in his room, bawling to the cat
These days there’re still around, same age, same pact
But there was a change of style, pirate for ringmaster’s hat
He can get anything he wants, when he wants it
Because he has the orb, and a cat he loves to bits
He covers his eyes, and their mischievous glint
Until the day he’s in the sky, and the moon isn’t
---
~Durrs
