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The Girl Without Keys

GoldenQuill · 2010-06-25T21:52:15Z

This a piece I submitted for Lilymoore's contest. My prompt picture was One of God's Mistakes . --- "Who do you think you are?" Ashley looked up from behind the cloud of smoke that encircled her. She slowly pulled the cigarette out of her mouth and blew, watching in satisfaction as more of the gray-ish gas built up. Carefully, she pushed herself away from the stone railing she had been leaning on so she could face the man. "I think I'm Ashley Timber, enjoying a cigarette. Who do you think you are?" The man, coughing and waving the smoke away, walked straight up to the girl and stopped. He was wearing a heavy overcoat with a hat slightly tipped down, his dark brown eyes shining with emotions that Ashley didn't want to place, his blonde hair almost completely hidden behind his consuming black hat. "I'm Jason Jay, the pastor's son, wondering who you think you are to be smoking a cigarette on the site of God's holy place." Casually, Ashley glanced behind her back to see the church. To be honest, it was quite a beautiful thing, towering up and above the other houses as if it were the only one who had God's hand on it. After a moment of thought, she turned back to Jason. "Jason Jay. Your parents musta had a cow when they thought up that name." Chuckling softly, she sucked on her cigarette viciously. Jason scowled. "Are you waiting for the church doors to open? 'Cause I ain't letting you in with a cigarette in your hands. You'd burn the whole church down, you would." "I would gleefully," came her dark response. "But even after all this, I'd never go into the church with a cigarette." She again turned to look at the church, this time letting the memories of the place fill her. She could see herself, nothing but a young girl, grasping excitedly to her mother's hand, already babbling about what the Sunday school teacher had promised to teach her that day--and she could remember, every single Sunday, her father would stop right outside the church and dispose of his cigarette in the waste bin. Her mother would often scold him, say it could catch on fire and burn the church down. His response would be, with a snicker, "If this is truly God's place, he wouldn't let it burn down." And this is the philosophy that kept Ashley from finding a new place to smoke every morning. All she would do was sit in front of the church, smoking, watching the ladies dressed in their ruffles pass by and whisper secrets about her, trying to guess her past. None of them ever could. Nobody ever would. As if reading her mind, Jason pushed on, "What do you mean, 'even after all this'?" Ashley looked back at him, her eyes shimmering with amusement. "So, you walk to the church, criticize a future church-goer, and then, when they get silent, badger them about their past? And I always wondered why this church had hardly any members." She shook her head pitifully and laughed. "You've been to this church?" "Have I! For the first twelve years of my life, I went here." She put the cigarette back in her mouth, sucking it deeply for a moment, then blew out. She grinned when Jason coughed and waved the smoke away angrily. "What happened?" "Why do you need to know?" "'Cause I ain't havin' some past convict sittin' on my daddy's church." "I find it funny how I haven't had a home for five years and my grammar is still better then yours." She leaned back on the railing of the church, smiling to herself. "Yeah, I was a writer a while ago. Oh," she said when he saw his surprise, "you like that? Yeah. So did my first boyfriend." She straightened her black hat and hair, made sure the white bow in the back was completely in place, and brushed any lint or dust off of her black top while arranging the silver-ish plastic pearls on each of her shoulders. Then she straightened up, like about to give a performance, and began. "Oh, through the noise of the distant trees, comes the story of the girl without keys. She needed none for she had no home, and all she could do each day was roam. Every time she got comfortable she picked up and moved, she knew she had to leave for her heart was never soothed. People glared and spat when they heard of her tale, which is why no one came to pay her constant bail. She soon tired of having no friends and living alone, and her heart felt like an empty water cone. Her death would be remembered by not even one, and her tale would be considered nothing more than a pun. It started with a mistake on a night with a boy, when he used her as nothing but a toy. When her pregnancy was found she was cast out and rejected, she was hated by her own family and tried as if infected. But one day it just seemed too much, she felt like her life was disappearing in a rush. She ran out and did crazy things she swore never to do, and got in terrible trouble every day night and noon. Still nobody cared for the girl without keys, because to them she was just like a tree. She was there and probably always would be, but you could not consider her existence too deeply. And I tell my tale today, even though I might have scared you away. I can no longer stand to be silent; if I am I would again turn very violent. So this is the story of the girl without keys, through the noise of the distant trees." A stretch of silence filled the air after her words were spoken. She looked up to see Jason standing there, stiffly and awkwardly, looking at her with sad eyes behind his hat. “Yes, I know,” she whispered softly, looking down and leaning against the post again. “I even wrote that on the spot, too. Talk about talent.” She grinned to herself and looked up, but by the time she had glanced up, she could just see Jason retreating around the edge of the church, no doubt about to sneak into the back. Ashley stood there and watched as his coat disappeared from behind the side of the church. She bit her lip slightly, glanced at the ground, and leaned against the post once again. By now her cigarette was nearly finished. She threw it away distastefully, and took out another one. She lit it and slowly sucked it, staring at her feet sadly. Though it shouldn’t have hurt so bad, she felt a heavy sadness in her heart. Almost immediately the back of her neck turned hot from embarrassment, not only for dumping her soul to someone who didn't care, but because of the tears fighting their way down her cheeks. She glared at the women in the ruffles, giggling at her misery, and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. She knew she had to be strong, once again. It seemed she never could have a moment of weakness without her heart breaking. And so she stood there, staring at her feet, fighting back tears, because still no one cared for the girl without keys.

PandorasChild

Gender

Points 2847

Reviews 41

Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:06 pm

PandorasChild says... · Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:06 pm

why hello there

I really liked this piece. Your characters were amazing, especially Ashley. You introduced her so well, firstly with the picture, and secondly in your opening paragraph when shes encircled with smoke, it creates such an ambiance. The rest was not what i expected from what i had read already but good nontheless

A great atmospheric piece. You captured what most strive to catch

"Dad, I'm hungry."
Hello hungry!
"Dad! I'm serious."
I thought you were hungry?
"Are you kidding me?"
No. I'm dad.

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