The Insanity

Pacing
Pacing
Unable to stop
Crazed thoughts flying
Pain
Pain
Destructive in its ways
World closing in now
Rotation slowing down
Slam into the walls
Break them down
Running
Running
Cannot stop
Fear trailing behind
A great cloud of magic
Time in hands
A great mass of power assaulting senses
Slow down now
Breathe
Fight now, escape impeded
Bearing down now
The last stretch before dawn
Sun rising
Burning
Falling
Bleeding
Dying?
Gather strength from unknown reserves
Use to keep living
To keep running
To keep breathing
To escape
Cliff ahead covered in fog
Like stories of yore
Looking down
Down
Down
Turning now
Voices warning
Don’t look down
Don’t look back
Don’t stop
Running
Running
Biting on bloody lips
Worn raw from extremes
Legs like Jello
Miraculously in order
Ducking
Ducking
Hands over head
Tangled with wind whipping around
Fighting
Gasping
Stumbling and falling away
Weariness threatening to overwhelm
Pushing it back to the depths
Ignoring its persistent voice
Looking back now
Unwise
Breath hitched
Forgetting how to move
Shadows all around
Blotting out all light
Useless to see
Enough to feel
Terror raging
Pure fury
Growing steadily
Rising from the depths
Erupting as a long dormant volcano
Beautiful
Terrible in its power
Piercing the vacant heart
Rage released
Shadows ceased
Eyes awakened to stark white
Angel holding magic in a tube
Injection long awaited
Fading now
Into the place not affected
By this madness inherited
Where calm always prevails



If you would like to know what this is about please tell me and I will tell you.

Hi. I'm Chardinay,
I actually would like to know what it is about. It was really good!

Hi Chardinay, you have a pretty name.
Ok, you wanted to know what it was about so here goes:

The main character is a girl who has inherited a mental disease. It could be something like schizophrenia or someithing else. She is in the mental hospital in her padded cell in the beginning and her disease takes over. She goes through the situation thinking it is real and at the end, a nurse comes with the syringe of sedative she has come to know and love to keep these "attacks" away. Thats pretty much it. Hope you liked it.

Hi personalinsanity,

Welcome to YWS! Don't forget to leave some reviews and get to know the other members; I'm sure they'll be pleased to meet you

Re: your poem -- I kind of have to confess that I didn't read it all. Unfortunately, it's very long and there was nothing at the beginning which caught my attention. It seemed more like it should be written down in prose form instead, really. If you want to do some editing, perhaps you could work on condensing it to a central idea, and expanding on it a bit with imagery that is engaging for the reader. I suggest reading some other poems for reference and perhaps doing some research on literary devices you can use to hold your audience's attention

Sorry I couldn't be more help!

Keep writing,
~bubbles

That is amazing.
The use of repetitiveness is used really well.

a solid piece.

Thanks guys. I appreciate the reviews. I will keep your comments in my thought bank for future use.

Ashlyn