Note: All lyrics are in italics.
Be exactly who you want to be, do what you want to do
There is a 1970s punk band called Crass.
Crass are every anti you can possibly imagine: anti capitalism, Christianity and conflict; anti racism, religion and royalty; and anti globalisation, government and greed. When I first heard them, they stirred anger in me, roused me to fight the system and break away.
However, more importantly, they also stirred hope in me. They also became not only anti, but pro: pro ambition, pro courage, pro me.The first time I heard those lyrics, I sat there, mouth open, tears in my eyes.
As well as wetting my eyes, Crass opened them. I realised that, if I really wanted to, I could do anything: I could become a journalist, an author, a photographer, an actress, a biologist. I contacted people asking for work experience. As well as have about six different careers, I could also going to no longer care about fashion, money and popularity. I threw away my eye-liner. As well as that, I could also start making youtube videos which was something I had always wanted to do. I was brilliant.
Of course, doing all these liberating things is exactly what Crass meant: I was doing what I wanted to do, in some respects.
There is a boy in my class called Callum.
However, in other respects, I was shying away - in the overwhelmingly more important respects.
Callum is not brilliant looking; he's a little thick and his biggest passion is star wars.
I wanted to be someone who, if I didn't agree with something, I stood up to it.
Day after day, I entered the classroom to see the same same group of boys tight around Callum. Day after day, they laughed at him, and he laughed along, face red. Day after day, it got a little worse.
I am he and she is she but you're they only you
Everyone convinced themselves it was okay, when it plainly wasn't. I decided that I didn't have to be everyone.
If you don't like the life you live, change it now, it's yours.
I imagined standing up, ignoring everyone's eyes on me and sitting next to Callum. I imagined telling him that he was better then those bullies. I imagined him looking a me, mouth open as if hardly daring to hope that someone was standing up for him.I imagined feeling great.
Be exactly who you want to be, do what you want to do
I imagined that.
Every day, Callum's self esteem got lower. Every single day and I did nothing about it. I wanted to, put I didn't. I was too scared.
We put the majority's flawed judgement over the minority's ignored feelings. We are exactly who we want to be, but kept well within the lines of what is socially acceptable. In my school it is not socially acceptable to defy that group of bullies.
I was not in who I wanted to be.
I was still enjoying to make youtube videos but every time my friends and I went on the internet together, I feared that they would somehow discover them(no one can deny the geeky undertone there) and laugh. I eventually deleted my account against all logic. If they did find out, would they really care? What did I think they were going to do? Eat me?
Hopefully writing this article will inspire me to be exactly who I want to be and do what I want to do, not even taking into account others' judgement, rather others' feelings. Hopefully it will inspire me to walk around the streets proudly wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt, armed with a Harry Potter book and filming a youtube video. Hopefully it will inspire me to change Callum's life and many other peoples', including mine. If you don’t like the life you live, change it now, it's yours. Be pro-you and anti-trends;be a little crass
I will definitely go through it again - and yeah, I take on board your comment about the song lyrics. Thank you
