Ecole des Monstres: Chapter I – Rain Drop Ending.
I clasped the form within my hands, the bus' engine revving ever so slightly as it turned down the country path. Placing my elbow on the corner of the window, I stared outside the dirt scuffed pane. People on cheap looking bikes drove past, their matching black school uniforms swimming in the violent gust of wind. I stared down at my own. It looked like a sailor suit, the ones the Japanese girls wear to school. A rose petal landed on the corner of the window. Tapping at it continuously, I watched as it dislodged itself and tumbled towards the rocky ground.
My name is Alyss White, the school failure - the ugly duckling. Every school has one, a child who spends all their time studying and yet, has nothing to prove for it. Rose, my elder sister, continuously tells me to keep going and that my grades will pick up. I believe her every-time, and yet every-time I have to repeat a year.
I sat around a cluster of desks as my friends chattered loudly.
"You know, they're planning to make this an all girl's school." Roxanne, my best friend said arrogantly, puffing her chest out in disgust. Katherine and Monica's mouths dropped in unison. They were such die hard boy fans, it wasn't funny.
"You're kidding, right?" Monica laughed, placing her hands on her petite frame. I rolled my eyes, lounging against the wall. I didn't really care whether it was going to become an "All Girls" school. Right now, I was anxious about the fact that I was going to repeat the eighth level...again! I hated year eight, I was supposed to be in year ten with my own aged friends, yet I was two years behind and was still failing!
"But boys are so cute! They can't get rid of them, that is like committing a crime on multiple levels." Katherine sneered, her hazel eyes narrowing. Hugging my arms around my waist, I stared at my white shoes. Not a speck of dirt flecked the soles. Looking out the window and onto the large oval, I bit into my lip nervously. What was Dad going to say? What was Rose going to say? Had the principal phoned them already? Was I going to walk into the room and see Rose and Dad staring up from the phone in between them, again?
"Well at least in grade nine-" Roxanne emphasised the nine with a roll of her tongue, "We'll be able to leave the school with a note from our parents." they all winked at each other as if to say; yeah, like we were going to ask our parents!
"To bad you aren't able to come, Alyss." Monica turned towards me, her strawberry blond hair flicking at her shoulders. She looked too young to be in our, no, their grade.
Blinking, my concentration broke as the bus hit a pot hole. Jumping slightly, I stared around the deserted bus. It was just me and the mysterious bus driver, hunched over the wide steering wheel. I saw his eyes scan back in the rear view mirror. Looking away as our eyes met, I felt the hairs on my neck stand on end.
"You going to Hirviö College?" the bus drivers coarse voice rocketed off every side of the bus. I looked down at the yellow form, black typewriter letters were printed neatly across the middle.
"Yes," I answered. I never use to be a drop out; I was pretty much acing all my classes. Of course, that was a very long time ago but I still hold it dear. It was only when my Mother left in the middle of the night when I was nine that my grades started to fall like raindrop coming from the sky. In fact, when she left, nothing was really ever the same.
Rose ended up cutting her long hair short and Dad started spending more time drinking then anything else. What Rose and Dad didn’t know though, is that Mum left me a gift. A key, with a rose gem within the middle symbolising different emotions…it changes colour whenever my mood changes. To this day I wear it, hiding it under my shirt where it shall remain until I find my Mother.
Entering the door to my home, I pulled off my shoes, wrestling with the thick skirts the winter uniform made compulsory. Collapsing towards the floor, I covered my hands over my head. I am a failure! I thought angrily to myself. I could hear foot steps coming towards me as Rose entered the room. She held a steaming pot in her hand, mixing at a sweet smelling liquid. I looked up through thick, brown strands of hair.
"I've heard the news." groaning, I let my head fall back into my arms. Rose laughed; I looked up to see her green eyes glittering.
"But we have a solution." Rose grabbed my hand and pulled me up. Handing me the pot of liquid, I began to mix reverently at it. Noticing my Dad for the first time, he stood from the couch, holding his "business" brief case.
"A solution?" I muttered, refusing to make eye contact with my Father. Was he displeased with me?
"Your Father, our brilliant Father has a solution for your schooling." Rose cooed, pulling her cooking apron off of her waist. Dad began to leaf through his brief case, a large smile crossing over his mouth.
"I have managed to get you a scholarship, my dear Daughter." Dad began, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose as he pulled out a yellow folder.
"A scholarship!" I felt my heart soar. I began to feel dizzy with excitement. Grabbing onto the lamp desk for stability, I stared wide eyed like a doe at my father, hoping what he was saying was true.
"Today, I was walking home from the bar and I managed to find myself behind a priestess. Honest looking women those priestesses are. Anyway, the woman dropped this folder by mistake." He raised a yellow bit of cardboard towards me, "And it's a scholarship file to a school...Hirviö College, I believe it's called."
"So, you stole me a scholarship?" I raised an eyebrow, unable to believe what I was hearing. Were they both insane!? Rose was nodding like a two year old and Dad had this smug look implanted on his face as if he had saved the Queen of England from a horrible death by using his bare hands!
"Not stealing, borrowing until you finish high school!" Rose grabbed at the pot and grinned, "You can finally go to eleventh grade without having to wait a few more years! And anyway the woman forgot to pick it up. Someone else would've picked it up anyway and would’ve obviously used it for no good."
I frowned, peering over the coffee table and onto the file. I felt my arms go limp in defeat. "But my name isn't Lucy Cummings."
"...You should watch out, that school is a dangerous one." the bus driver’s voice broke through my thoughts like a razor blade. My coat pocket began to buzz. Digging my hand into the fine linen, I pulled out my mobile, an annoying ring tone echoing from the small, pink device.
"Hello," I said in a high pitched tone. Something I had adopted from Rose when I had been younger.
"Alyss, it's me; Rose. I have to tell you something," Rose's voice urgently fled through the speaker. Plugging a finger into my ear, I strained my hearing to listen to her soft voice. "That school you're going to. I did some research on it and-" Rose's voice was cut short as the darkness of a tunnel surpassed over the buses bulky figure.
"Rose!?" I shouted loudly. Driving out from under the shadows, I watched as the reception on my phone flicker off. I stared outside the window, deathly looking trees framed the now dirt road. Crows with beady red eyes glowing from their feathery sockets were perched on the distorted limbs of the stumps of withering wood. The bus came to a halting stop, the sound of gears locking together grounded over me. My nerves began to flicker around my body like wild fire. Standing up nervously, I peered out into the deathly looking area.
Walking slowly down the bus isle, I clutched my bag to my chest for protection. The bus driver stooped even lower, his eyes shining.
"Remember what I told you." stepping out of the door, the buses engine revved. The glass veil shut.
"Are you sure-" my voice ended over the rumbling of the engine. The driver and the bus disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel. Looking up, I stared at the scarecrow on the stick in front of me. A badly carved pumpkin head was mounted on the top. A note with a blood red arrow painted on the front, pointed up the dirt road. Plucking at the key around my neck, I cupped my hands around it in false hope.
"..This is the right way?" I finished, fear coiling around my heart and squeezing tightly.
I'll begin with the nit-picks.
I'm going to do the real overall critique on Chapter Two, since that was your request, but here let me just politely disagree with Skins! (With all due respect, of course.) She mentioned that she thought the plot was too vague, but I didn't have a problem with it. This is chapter one-- you want to establish the scene and hook your readers, not tell us the entire plot. I say, as long as you go back and describe that scene with the priest in more detail later, it's fine to leave it a little mysterious in the first chapter.
