Horror Of God

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Originally just a Photomanipulation image, but thought about the story so why not? http://chiefkansuke.deviantart.com/#/d2o61eo

The Horror of God

If the setting confuses you, that's cause I expect you to figure out who is what and where they are.
Spoiler
If you can't figure out who the fallen angel is, It's Lucifer. Also, the story is that this fallen angel is like a test for humans. Earth is depicted a horrible place because they do things to people or things they don't understand them, therefore fear of not understanding brings panic, and therefore insanity for killing, the way they kill him or hurt him sends down a damnation onto the villages. But because this is Lucifer we're talking about, it's obvious he will never be treated rightfully, thus this conversation takes place


In a cruel world, there exists a cruel God. Such a cruel God can only make his subordinates do as he says or else they are exiled to the earth or worse... Among these, was this particular fallen one. We know his name. We all know about him. We know who he is and we know what he is.

He calls out to God," I may be a fallen one but in truth, I have not yet stopped from falling. Why do you not grant me a footing?"

God would answer," You do have a footing, look at the soil covered in man's footprints."

The fallen angel would respond," I may be standing, but one can tell that my fall is a constant sequence. The humans....they don't stop. All they know is how to hurt and how to treat others cruelly."

God would chuckle," Poor fool. Your sin is the worst of all. Therefore your punishment goes on as if you never had stopped falling. You can only get worse until you fully embody the true form of sin itself. Were I to be the symbol of adoration and respect, holy light and divine energy....then all my misfortunes I shall pass down onto you, where you become the symbol of hate, pride, and simple discrimination, not out of envy but of the lack of ones understanding."

The fallen one could only glare at the other, yet a smirk could curl up on his features," You the symbol adoration and I the symbol of hatred? Hah! If all man can do is hurt, suffer and make others suffer, then am I not more adored than even you? I would rather be the God everyone wanted and you the real evil people would fear at the sight."

The almighty would clench a fist in the sky," Perhaps you are." An angered tone would become an angered thunder strike in the heavens "All the more reason for me to abandon this flawed being and move on to the creation of a new one. One just like me...one who can do anything like I would were I powerless."

The embodiment of evil could only tremble in excitement," What am I to you? A test for mortals, or perhaps a worthy opponent to you? If death and suffering is the form of adoration to evil, what would happen should someone actually came to show me compassion no matter how much it burns my body?"

God, answered with haughty pride," If I cannot forgive you, what makes you think a mortal could? When our presences reach their awareness, they are but a mirror reflecting the image of what we truly symbolize. If your reflection would ever be something of a difference, then the mirror would break and the test would have backfired on me"

"In other words, if I am forgiven by another that isn't you, then I will have defeated you in this game. Hehehehe....very well....so long as I am pummeled, killed, torn apart, tortured and burned alive, humanity can only expect damnation fall upon them. In my heart I have already won. I am right to think I am the symbol of all sin. This pain makes me happy. I can only wonder what will befall them when they decide to tie me up to the cross and ignite the flames of discrimination. And yet, if I'm wrong.....I win."

God," Keep dreaming about that. The 1st village, you discriminated and pummeled by rocks, thus wolves with human anatomy emerged and killed everyone to reflect that a creature not like them can also hold grudges even though they have never met.

"The 2nd village, humans took death lightly and only cut off your head. For their lightheartedness on death, death itself struck back and infected them all by the plague of the undead, doomed to live as a being that regrets not having valued life.

"And the 3rd village, people knew you would come to their town from the rumors of the last pair of communities. The shepherd saw you and therefore he commanded you burn alive 'til you were nothing but ash. Because of their pleasure and desire to see someone suffer at public view, they were brought demons the likes no one could dream of, and commenced to violate, rape, torture, tear apart from the limb and innards....and up to this day, they still have not died, whilst they lay upon the ground into pieces.

"So long as you cannot do anything about it but lose more of your feathers, you have no hopes of winning. It is all the same to me if you do. I will just have to create a new reality. Now go forth....and let them feel that you are my horror in the form of a grotesque god...."

___________________________________________


So yeah, basically this was a project for school, story was short as hell but concept was long and I wish people could have shut up and paid attention. Oh well, mexicans....Anyway, the credit for the images go to Viviphyd (Who's image helped me a lot), Mentosik8, and Mitch-King. I don't remember who made the background, if someone demands I credit it, please tell me a name if you find it. Hope you enjoyed the reading.
Last edited by RisfelRagnarok on Fri May 21, 2010 6:23 am, edited 3 times in total.




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Hey Risfel!

First, a grammatical comment! You do what I do! You skip words. For instance:

"Now go forth....and let them [ahh, where's the verb????] that you are my horror in the form of a grotesque god...."

Now! The content!

I liked the dialogue! It was very interesting to see how God and the fallen angel interacted. There was one thing that I think you can improve on though... and that would be introducing us to the physicality of this setting (if this makes sense). Right now, it's mostly dialogue, which is fine. But I would love to get a feeling of how stressed out this angel is if we knew where he was... after all, if Earth is closing up on him, then I want to hear about it! And I would love to get a feeling of who God is in this story... whether he is cold and distant or just cruel, close, and sadistic. If that makes sense. So some description of the two of them would be awesome.

Now, about the actual content, there are a couple of things I'm wondering:

What is the fallen angel's sin? You mention it in the beginning that he's sinned and, from the very beginning, it's evident that it has something to do with not following God's will, but we're not sure why.

Also, a question I have is why is he banished to Earth? Earth has its beauties as well as its horrors, so it's not completely horrible. Why is it considered horrible to him? Again, a description of setting here might be wonderful.

Anyway, hope that helps! :)
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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I know exactly where you are coming from with the whole school assignment with restrictions thing. But i think you did a good job making due with what you had. I enjoyed the reworking of the biblical backdrop and found the dialogue to be well done and well utilized. If you chose to do a rewrite, look at the mixing of conditional and past tense, and other than that i agree that some abstract description of setting would strengthen the piece. Too much however, i think might detract from it. The back and forth was so powerful because it was happening... everywhere, with no confines of an exact setting. Adding limited description could better frame the story while not taking away those initial elements. Overall, good story, strong message, nice read.




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ODonovan wrote:I know exactly where you are coming from with the whole school assignment with restrictions thing. But i think you did a good job making due with what you had. I enjoyed the reworking of the biblical backdrop and found the dialogue to be well done and well utilized. If you chose to do a rewrite, look at the mixing of conditional and past tense, and other than that i agree that some abstract description of setting would strengthen the piece. Too much however, i think might detract from it. The back and forth was so powerful because it was happening... everywhere, with no confines of an exact setting. Adding limited description could better frame the story while not taking away those initial elements. Overall, good story, strong message, nice read.


Yeah I was telling that to Snoink, too. Thanks bro



Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
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