Guardian Angel

Ok so this is a poem i wrote for my mom for Mother's Day. If there is anyway I could improve it or if you just have something to say, please comment. Thanks!

Guardian Angel
Don't lie.
Don't hide.
I know your secret.
I've always known.

It's your smile
That gives you away.
The way you talk,
The way you walk,
The way you laugh.

I've suspected all along.

You don't have to hide.
The wind whispers your name,
The moon smiles your way.

You stick by my side,
No matter how many times
I push you away.
You are a Guardian Angel.

Comforting Tears,
Vanquishing Fears.
Questing Happiness,
Emitting Love.

You shimmer like the stars,
You shine like the sun.
Please don't hide,
Please don't lie.

I've seen you fly.
Guardian Angel,
Please don't leave.
Spread your wings,
And show the world,
How special you truly are.

Before anyone else reads this, you definitely need to format correctly. Right now every line is jumbled up together in a big sloppy mess. It's hard to tell where one part begins and another ends if you keep it this way. It's kind of like a run on sentence: you have to know where to stop and where to start fresh. If I were you, I would edit it so that it looked like this:

Guardian Angel

Don't lie.
Don't hide.
I know your secret.
I've always known.

It's your smile
That gives you away.
The way you talk,
The way you walk,
The way you laugh.

I've suspected all along.

You don't have to hide.
The wind whispers your name,
The moon smiles your way.

You stick by my side,
No matter how many times
I push you away.
You are a Guardian Angel.

Comforting Tears,
Vanquishing Fears.
Questing Happiness,
Emitting Love.

You shimmer like the stars,
You shine like the sun.
Please don't hide,
Please don't lie.

I've seen you fly.
Guardian Angel,
Please don't leave.
Spread your wings,
And show the world,
How special you truly are.

That would definitely help your reader understand what the point is that you're trying to make. Good luck.

-Knightley

Okay Will do! That does make alot more sense.
~Cassi

Hi!

I'm torn on what to think about this poem. It's definitely a good one on all levels, but I don't really think it was specific This is for your mother, right? It seemed just a little vague. Your mother will like being complimented, but I think you should prove some examples of things that she's done that you've liked. What is the best thing that's she's ever done for you? What makes her so special?

Mean it. If you don't mean it, she'll think that you just wrote a poem for her since it's nearing mothers day and someone forced you to.

PM me if you have any questions, and good luck revising this!

-Elinor xo

Sorry, but I have to disagree with the other editors...
This is definitley beautiful. Your mother will love this. If I was a mother, I would definitely have tears of joy. don't change a thing;)