But Still It Grew

But Still It Grew

It was a bright, happy day
when the rough, callow boy came out.
“Look at my beautiful flower!” he exclaimed.
“See how much she’s grown.”
What he said was very true.
The flower, once just a slight stem,
was now a strong, red tulip.
It waited for the boy to pluck it,
to take it off and display it to the world,
but the boy was also waiting.
“Not yet,” he whispered. “You’re not quite ready.”

Neither the boy nor the flower
noticed what was across the street.
Hidden in the weeds and uncut grass,
was another tulip, more brilliant than the other.
How it became was unclear.
No one watered it.
No one loved it.
But still it grew.
The owner had long ago
given up on the entire yard.
“Nothing will ever come of this.
What’s the point?” he thought.
But he was wrong about the tulip.
It would continue to grow,
and one day be more radiant
than any other tulip in the neighborhood.



A/N: This is just a little something I put together . It's my first time writing a poem that has more than one meaning. I'm pretty excited.

Hey brainychic! Neat experimentation!

Just a couple of things! You develop one of your characters, the callow boy, and talk about how he loves and tends this one tulip, waiting for it to bloom fully so he can show it off to the world. So that's one message... then you bring up the other tulip and talk about how it is unloved and untended for but it's still pretty, if not more pretty, than the loved tulip. So! My question is, right now, the message for your poem is this: it doesn't matter if somebody loves you or not because you'll grow regardless. Is this the message that you want to send?

It's really lovely!

It is more of a narrative though, rather than lyrical.
The first two lines both have two adjectives in a row, which makes it a little heavy on the listing description.
(It was a bright, happy day
when the rough, callow boy came out.)
That sometimes says amateur-ish, though clearly the rest of the poem is above par.
If possible, I would find a way to change up, or slim those first lines.

though the concept of mixed meaning is new to me i enjoyed your poem

Thank you all for your input!

Snoink said:

So! My question is, right now, the message for your poem is this: it doesn't matter if somebody loves you or not because you'll grow regardless. Is this the message that you want to send?

Yes, that is pretty much it. It was inspired by this very close friend of mine because he does not get the attention that I feel he deserves but I know he will turn out to be a good person.

Sura said:

It is more of a narrative though, rather than lyrical.

Now that I look at it and really think about it, I agree with you. I apologize for putting this in the wrong place.

Wow that was actually pretty good =)
I liked that it had, as you said, two meanings.
I liked the idea that something can grown on its own,with no love,
and still become really beautiful and all that. I think that's a pretty good theory.
Towards the end, it didn't really flow that well, but it was still quite good. I'm not much of a poet, but that's just my opinion. Good Luck =)