The Official Stupid Questionnaire!

This is somewhat more popular than I thought Shame the Blog updates aren't *sobs* Lol.

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
Chicken Drumsticks. Health food is no fun.

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
Once, if it's my brother who's talking. Otherwise - twice.

-What's your favourite website?
Guess.

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
How much mud? Like, a handful, or a grainy little bit?

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Neopolitan. (That is, all of them)

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Who's the actor? John Barrowman - I'd punch him. David Tennant - I'd snog him.
Who's the cowboy? I don't know any names so, yeah, sure, I'd punch the cowboy.
Who's the priest? I don't know any priests, but it depends what kind of priest he is... if it's one of those ones from Northern Ireland who were caught child molesting, I'd punch the priest.
Normally, though, I'd go for the cowboy. I'm sure he can take it.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
What day is it? Today (Tuesday) it would be anything by The Script.

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
I'm not rich enough to have an iPod.

-What really irratates you?
Queueing, and walking behind people who are stood still or going slowly.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
Yes, and no.

-Chocolate or salad cream?
Chocolate. Preferably Galaxy, Cadbury's Dairy Milk, or Tesco's cheap chocolate.

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Saturday. Relaxation is mine.

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
I don't have time for sleep. I'm up at, like, six.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
No.

-What did you have for dinner?
Spaghetti Hoops.

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
DAVID TENNANT

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
I will not.

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
No.

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
It doesn't take a minute to write the word "No".

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
Yes.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
I didn't.

-Why are you still answering the questions?
I'm bored.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
Yep.

-Do you love facebook?
I have internet safety parents. I don't have facebook.

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
Isn't there a Monty Python film with a dragon? I think there is, and if so, that one.

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
I am the Enemy of Maths. (i.e., No.)

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
Hotel! As long as the serial killer is fast, I'm fine.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Twitter.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
Which man?

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
I have not.

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
I hate you, Ben.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
YUS.

- Have you ever considered botox?
No.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
Lights? Colours? Where?!?!

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Meh, the moth.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
Nope. My friend and I are overthrowing YouTube sometime soon, anyways.

- What last made you cry?
Stress.

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
Are you kidding? I'd do it for free!

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
Yes, and yes.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
Who're the physicist and the chemist?

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
Anywhere as long as my friends are with me.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
My fingers. As a writer I cannot live without them.

- Are you any good at tennis?
No.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
Which daytime telly? Loose Women? This Morning? GMTV? I'll put up with Loose Women, but I would happily smack Philip Scofield, and then I'd be fired.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
I do not.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
John Barrowman.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
I'd be too busy eating to sit.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
YES!!!

- Do you have teddy bears?
I do. They're called Pen and Paper.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
I have not.

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
The Government is using that theory to take over our minds.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
The Taliban would shoot me while I was still on the way.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Pepsi - which is basically Coke.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?


- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
No.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
I'd sleep through it.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
Never.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
Fish4jobs? *intrigued*

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
Chicken. Birds annoy me... so I like eating them

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
Twice... repetition annoys me

-What's your favourite website?
Facebook and of course, YWS

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
Nothing. I loooove some good mud!

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Mint choc chip. Hell yeah, I'm an outcast.

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Priest. My school teacher parades around Cardiff (Wales) preaching.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
Ellie Goulding - Starry eyed

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
Nope. Just one, crappy, old, green i-pod!

-What really irratates you?
Your mother.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
Nope. I'm off school! Because I have an abscess...

-Chocolate or salad cream?
CHOCOLATE! Especially Galaxy...

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Friday. For obvious reasons

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
Until about seven a:m School. Fail.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
Suprsisingly, no.

Charlotte Church has the same top as me!!! Woop! Go Topshop!
Oh... sorry, I got distracted...

-What did you have for dinner?
It's only 10:15 a:m

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
Mitch Hewer! Duh!

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
I'll give you a crayon...?

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
No...

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
What's it to you. Stalker.

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
Stop hassling me... ¬_¬

-Who gave up answering at this point?
I did.

-Why are you still answering the questions?
Because I love sugar rainbows.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
Yeah... pretty much.

-Do you love facebook?
You betcha Johnny Bwoiiii

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
I don't watch films with dragons... Eragon? I loved that one though!

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
NO.

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
Under the bridge! If I'm going to get killed, I'd so want it to be under a bridge.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Twitter... their icon's a bird. I mean, wtf?!

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
No, but I bet Obama could.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
Actually yes... I was lying upside down on my bed.

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
I wud. Coz I is cwl and i is better than all Yous. Is dat 500 words? I fink so. bi.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
Nah, I'd make a paper aeroplane out of it.

- Have you ever considered botox?
Ew. No.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
Yes... I think it's an illness...

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Dale Winton - Looks like a foot.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
Nope. I'd make my own youtube!

- What last made you cry?
When I saw your face...

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
I do that anyway...

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
You like maths don't you...?

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
Physicist's. I hate anything to do with Chemistry.

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
In a volcano.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
My left ankle.

- Are you any good at tennis?
NO.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
£1,000,000,000,000,000,001

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
I don't. Nothing should be spelt like that.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
The "hotties" on The Jeremy Kyle Show.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
Jay-Z. I just don't like him!

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
You bet I would!

- Do you have teddy bears?
No... *cough*

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
No...

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
I reckon it's something that Barack Obama made up. 2+2 is actually 36. Obama doesn't want you to know because he thinks he's cool.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
IRAQ!

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Lemonade... bwoiii

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
No! Don't stick that there... NOOOOO!

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
I'm too young...

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
My nan's house.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
I believe it was 3 days, 8 hours, 46 minutes and 21 milliseconds ago.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
Oh My God. Is that real?!
I am soooo searching that.

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?

Depends on what style it's in. If in fast food outlet, beef. If in fancy-schmancy restaurant, beef. If ambiguous, chicken.

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?

Twice, if by 'someone' you mean 'Matthieu Gay-Bellile' from my school.

-What's your favourite website?

YWS. In fact, YWS sucks away time like the portal to a parallel universe sucks away socks.

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?

What's the humus/sediment content of the mud? Anyway, um, 5.5 million dollars. And it would be paying first, eating second.

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?

Vanilla if solid block taste. However, mint-choc-chip my favorite

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?

Depends on who. I, unlike everyone else on this quiz, don't really have a problem with cowboys. It's not like they bombed an orphanage for crippled children.
Actor, well, if it's someone like Zac Efron or Robert Pattinson, they are meeting my fist. If it's someone who can act, I would ask them for an autograph.
Therefore, by process of elimination, it's the priest. If Christian, I would add something about how the Pope during the 40s could have easily stopped the war, as if I were in my seventies or something.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?

Only Happy When It Rains, closely followed by 'Hum-Hum-de-Hum'

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?

No. But my brother does and will not lend me one if I am lending out mine.

-What really irratates you?

Matthieu Gay-Bellile, being ignored, having people get on my nerves when they know that my nerves are not to be got on.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?

Not really. I guess I could be writing, but that's not big or anything, so no, not holding me up.

-Chocolate or salad cream?

Chocolate; why is it that everything I like is bad for me?

-What is your favourite day of the week?

Thursdays, closely followed by Saturdays, followed by Fridays.

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?

About 6:35, when my alarm goes off.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?

Not really. (it's U, by the way)

-What did you have for dinner?

...I don't know what it was called. Something Middle Eastern and bitter.

-Who's the sexiest person on television?

...I don't know. I generally judge by movies. If I had to choose, um, that woman who played Six in Battlestar Galactica (my bro's TV show, not mine), and for guys, uh, no idea. Do I look like I obsess over TV actors?

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?

Take the ratio of a jiffy to a second, and then multiply that by fourteen, before rolling up the paper and throwing it down while I hand you 500 yen. Exchange rate as you please.

-Is it past 9pm where you live?

No. In an hour it will be.

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?

Maybe, maybe not. Who cares?

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?

...No comment.

-Who gave up answering at this point?

The person who decided not to do this quiz at this question. His name is Barry. He is a leprechaun who lives in the twisted world of iron and sprinkles that is my mind.

-Why are you still answering the questions?

Because I have no life.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?

Not really. I'm just waiting for something.

-Do you love facebook?

No. I don't go on it. Therefore, I am a freak of nature.

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?

Beowulf, the one with Ray Winston, who played Beowulf and the dragon. Intriguing, no?

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?

What kind of maths? Because if they are continuing rising in difficulty, I would throw a textbook at them, and just start up my career without a degree. Bill Gates was a dropout.

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?

Under the bridge, where I'd bring a guitar, a computer with wireless access, and learn to play Under The Bridge.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?

Bebo. My brother would kill me if I blew up either Facebook or Twitter.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?

No. The carrot would wear out, or I would wear out and then give the carrot to my rabbit.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?

No. Have you?

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.

No, I have not, however, my parents will give you the 500 word essay.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?

I would spend half on snacks, then save the rest, wait until my next day of getting money, and then try and accumulate it, before going on a massive snacking feast of etc., or loaning out money.

- Have you ever considered botox?

No. Have you?

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?

Accompanied by garbled sounds, that is what is known as a cartoon. Yes. It does amuse me; I laugh when it is the Simpsons, cry when it is something that I'm not sure exists.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?

Moth; dunno who Dale Winton is.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?

Yes. First, I would have to enlist a small army of those likeminded, added with a bunch of other awesome people, and then storm the building, using the Youtube software to upload videos of my demands.

- What last made you cry?

Matthieu Gay-Bellile causing a nervous breakdown and being a liar.

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?

How big is the loaf? About 5.5 million pounds for smallish.

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?

Depends on what the Maths Faculty is like. Probably, since I would be secretly stealing lunches from them just for the heck of it.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?

Chemist's lab! Reactions are way more exciting than physics.

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?

Nowhere. I do not eat banana splits.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?

Eyes. I always fear my eyeballs hardening, leading to blindness... yeep.

- Are you any good at tennis?

Depends on who I'm playing. No.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?

Ooh, I would love to be on daytime telly, so long as I wasn't scripted, could talk about whatever I wanted, and could pick fights with everyone on air! It would be brilliant.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.

No.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?

That woman who played Judy in the IT crowd episode 5 of the first season. Males, it would be that guy who plays Hurley in Lost. Every time I see him, I weep for the future of our species.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?

Why would I sit on chocolate cake?

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?

Yes. Yes I would.

- Do you have teddy bears?

Stuffed animals count? Otherwise, nope.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?

No. No I have not.

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?

If I perceive things the same way you do, then you can easily check, by raising two fingers on your hand, then raising two fingers on your other hand, and looking at them. Unless I am a freak of nature, they make four; two fingers plus two fingers equals four fingers.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?

Iraq, so long as I can visit the museums in Baghdad that aren't blown up.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?

Coca Cola is the most available, but I would choose lemonade. Too bad they don't sell it here.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?

Elephant. Dolphins are deadly, even normal ones.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?

No.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?

Greenland.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?

This will happen when an earthquake makes the roof of my apartment collapse, meaning that I will have to read the New Yorker, laugh at the funnier articles, and then eat it.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?

No idea. What do you think?

Hey! This is like a projective personality test! Huzzah!

Quiz is long... Quiz is popular... xD

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?

I'd go for chicken, i am a really weird eater.

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?

three times

-What's your favourite website?

The David Tennant Website

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?

£500

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?

Vanilla all the way


-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
The Cowboy.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?

Everything- by Michael Buble

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?

No i don't.

-What really irratates you?

People who lie

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?

No i don't, well i should be doing coursework but lets just pretend i am.

-Chocolate or salad cream?

Salad Cream

-What is your favourite day of the week?

Saturday, because Doctor Who is on, I have Drama and it's the weekend!

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
about 7 hours.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?

No, but a little fact for you, i can say it backwards

-What did you have for dinner?

Last night? Erm, i can't actually remember!

-Who's the sexiest person on television?

David Tennant!!!!! or John Barrowman!!!!! joint

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?

Nothing, sorry. I have no money!

-Is it past 9pm where you live?

No, it's 12.35 am

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?

No not really.

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?

Yes, sorry no offence.

-Who gave up answering at this point?

I'm still going..

-Why are you still answering the questions?

Because i am sad and have no life

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?

Possibly

-Do you love facebook?

No i hate it, but i do use it. But i hate it!

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?

I haven't seen it but How to train your dragon..... it has David Tennant in it

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?

Yeah, i'm quite good at Maths to be fair.

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?

Under a bridge.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?

Bebo, the devil

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?

Im guessing no, i couldn't dig a man-sized hole with a spade.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
No, that is strange.

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.

a 500+ word essay why
That was bad, i was trying to be clever.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
Doctor Who Magazine

- Have you ever considered botox?

Nope.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?

Yes, i am actually.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?

Haha a moth....

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?

Yes i actually would!

- What last made you cry?

I watched David Tennant's last Doctor Who episode again on friday. It's the 2nd time i've seen it because i've been steering away.

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?

£1 million

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?

I've not considered it no.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
a physicist's lab.

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
Italy.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?

My toes, because i have stupidly cold feet all the time and bad blood circulation. And that would prevent me from walking.

- Are you any good at tennis?

No

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?

it depends what show.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.

I don't like antiques... no.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?

Katie Price

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?

Crazy Love, by Michael Buble.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?

Yes.

- Do you have teddy bears?

I do i have 4.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
no i haven't

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
i'm going to say it's really 4.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?

Iran?

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Lemonade

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
Elephant.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
Yes, i get on well with alot of people.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
The moon.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?

Never, and i don't think it will....

- Is fish4jobs a good website?

I can't say i know that.

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
10 times.

-What's your favourite website?
Erm....Er...I'll get back to you on that.

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
Nothing.

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Strawberry.

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Cowboy.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
Yes...well on is broken but that doesnt matter.

-What really irratates you?
People that stare.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
Nope.

-Chocolate or salad cream?
Chocolate

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Friday

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
I always sleep loads on Monday and what better place to sleep than in school.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
Nope.

-What did you have for dinner?
Food...I can't remember now.

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
The guy on Prison Break.

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
$0.00

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
Nope.

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
That is debatable.

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
YES. Yes they are.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
Not me.

-Why are you still answering the questions?
Because I'm bored.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
Yes!

-Do you love facebook?
I adore facebook.

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
I don't have one.

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
No,

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
Warm comforting hotel....I have an Uzi handy you see.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Twitter.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
No.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
No...but i might try it.

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
No (Only because I dont feel like writing an essay.)

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
Yes.

- Have you ever considered botox?
No.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
Yes...Ohh colourful light.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Both.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
Yes.

- What last made you cry?
Chelsea losing to Man United

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
2 million Pounds-nothing more nothing less-

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
Never. Ever. Will. I. Become. A. Teacher.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
Chemist's they might have drugs to cure me or something.

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
Nigeria.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
My Feet.

- Are you any good at tennis?
Nope.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
A lot.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
Nope.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly? The weird guy that presents Deal Or No Deal.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
I dont sit on chocolate cake.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
Yes. I would.

- Do you have teddy bears?
No.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
No.

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
Its all a conspiracy.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
Iraq.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Coca-cola.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
Forty ton dolphin.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
No, mainly because my boss is my mother.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
Russia

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
Never. Probably when i read a magazine worth eating alive.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
What is this fish4jobs? *google's it* No!

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for? Neither...

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
About four

-What's your favourite website?
YWS

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
Five bucks.

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Strawberry

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
All of them at the same time.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
"Access and Amplify" by Icon of Coil...

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
Nooo. And I only have an iPod because Zune went all expensive.

-What really irratates you?
iPods.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
Er...well, I should be packing.

-Chocolate or salad cream?
I still have no idea what salad cream is.

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Tuesday; it's the most unassuming day.

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
'Til I wake up.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
Nein.

-What did you have for dinner?
Alfredo and breadssticks.

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
Me.

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
A compliment.

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
It's five o'clock somewhere.

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
I'm pretty sure it didn't take a whole minute.

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
Yeah, so far.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
Your mom.

-Why are you still answering the questions?
Your mom told me to.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
I'm pretty sure your aim was to confuse us.

-Do you love facebook?
no

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
Pete's Dragon

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
For engineers, it IS compulsory.

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
Under the bridge. I don't care about the killer; bridges are cheaper, and I like friendly people.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
What's Bebo? And probably Twitter.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
I know I could.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
Yes.

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
Probably not any time soon.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
No, I'd forget it was there, and then send it through the wash.

- Have you ever considered botox?
No.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
'Course I am.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Um...?

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
Nah, I probably wouldn't care.

- What last made you cry?
I couldn't decide if I wanted to keep a book or not...

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
Um...well, I'm allergic to penicillin. So...it'll get moldy... Yeah. NO.

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
No.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
Physicist's lab.

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
I don't like banana splits.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
I wouldn't be scared I'd freeze. I'd be scared of my socks getting wet.

- Are you any good at tennis?
Not really.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
One million...

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
No.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
I dunno.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
Yours.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
No.

- Do you have teddy bears?
I have a teddy moose, a teddy ice bear, and a teddy T-Rex.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
Yes, many times, actually.

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
Conspiracy, definitely.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
Um. Iraq.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Orange pop.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
Oh...lol. Gimme both; I can take 'em.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
No, and no.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
I'm pretty sure I could build a fallout shelter, so I'd go there.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
Tomorrow.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
Probably not.

As I was reading through this, I had the interesting idea of answering each question with a youtube video. Now I'm off to compile a list. Be back shortly...

That's not half a bad idea! Might take you a while though, since I made so many questions, lol

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
Chicken. I've not eaten red meat for over two years now. I'm a proud chickenitarian

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
Twice!

-What's your favourite website?
YWS!

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
Nothing. I'm daring enough.

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Strawberry all the way!

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Um... I'm not religious but I respect peoples beliefs so not the priest, I like movies so not the actor, so therefore the cowboy!

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
Howl by Florence + The Machine. It rocks!
-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
I have two. A nano and a shuffle.

-What really irratates you?
People who put so much fake tan on they look like oompa loompas. What is the point? Just get a natural sun tan!

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
Nope

-Chocolate or salad cream?
Is this even a serious question?? <--(is that even a serious question!?)

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Friday, because you can say, 'Yay, it's the weekend tomorrow!'

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
10 hours

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
Um, no

-What did you have for dinner?
Fish & Chips!

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
Spongebob Sqaurepants. Ooft!

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
How much do you want?

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
Nope, it's 5:45pm

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
Yeah man! This is awesome!

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
NO!!

-Who gave up answering at this point?
Not me, I'm determined to finish this!

-Why are you still answering the questions?
Because I have nothing else to do with my time!

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream? Ha, I didnt notice and I cba scrolling up the page to check!

-Do you love facebook?
It's getting slightly boring (facebook not the quiz!)

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
Shrek

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
Yeah maths rules

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?The bridge! It'd be more of an adventure than a boring hotel!

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
All of them.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
I'm up for a challenge so yes!

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
Not yet but that's going on my to-do list!

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why. I've already been. Do I still have to do the essay?

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
Yes, probably on jelly babies.

- Have you ever considered botox?
Never.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
Yeah!

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Who's Dale Winton?

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation? Nah, I could live without it as long as YWS was still running.

- What last made you cry?
Gosh, that's heard I never cry. Oh yeah! When I was going home from visiting my Auntie in Dubai and had to say goodbye to her cat Bigs. Oh Bigs, I miss him!

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year? HAHA! Man, how did you come up with these questions!?

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty? I've not.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab? Not a chemists because my chemistry teacher is an absolute idiot. Someone asked him 'what does dense mean?' and he said, 'It's when somethings really dense.'

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
Erm...Cannes.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
My toes. Ouch!

- Are you any good at tennis?
Fairly good, it's my favourite sport.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
A lot.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong. that's funny!

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
Miley Cyrus.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
Miley Cyrus's.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
NEVER! Music is the next best thing after writing!

- Do you have teddy bears?
Yup.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
Nope.

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
It's 22!

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
I thought they were the same place. Ha just kidding.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
COCA-COLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
Elephant.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
Not yet.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
Dubai.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?

Yeah. And some of the answers just won't make any sense, as I got lazy halfway through.

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_eYSuPKP3Y

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duRO3noyAKU

-What's your favourite website?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi8VTeDHjcM

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tcR19y7GPM

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL88a0jP6ZE

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJej6kCgxVM

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SX3JnUhTaE

-What really irratates you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX6e7sO1ss0

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?


-Chocolate or salad cream?
RevisionSpoiler!

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG6S0lGuxBI

-What is your favourite day of the week?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEMuAnFH_lM

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WRebGLoZEo

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RTc32qBpAk

-What did you have for dinner?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5YIa1NOByo

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QLSRMoKKS0

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHacDYj8KZM

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djMQPC6NIgk

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPmb0F00YPE

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
Looks like it's time for randomness.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O36f1p8QSaw

-Why are you still answering the questions?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYBIyiVhMCM

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79eqRoyN-d0

-Do you love facebook?


-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJfowXTXOfU

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc1VmnALMIk

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgnxvioVjbo

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Can't blow up the internet. See answer three.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs
I'm hardly trying now.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bEa6wnLm9Y

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_RaPOOVX1Y

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKYSghXorvI

- Have you ever considered botox?



- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAN7Ts0xBo

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIvHVIMAEks

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
IRONY gets a random video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Sq-HYGfnIo

- What last made you cry?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCowIJqD6ag

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5ZEzWwKJnY

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
Now I really don't know what we're yelling about.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
I'm getting a lot of good ideas for videos, I just want to let you know, but posting them here would probably get me in trouble for the bad language.

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9MZNEXrElw

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
What the heck. I'll put it in a spoiler.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIO1m0bFwgs

- Are you any good at tennis?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVRycw6r_34

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ_1POY2QM4
Man. That's not even clever.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.

Well, when I was a boy growing up in Scotland, I once asked myself what my greatest ambition was. Since they don't want white people to play the black power ranger, I decided I would learn how to play the tubular bells. First, I went down to the harbor next to our castle...well, it was more of a big box that the nuclear plant gave us (my sister had a tail and seventeen toes! Even so, we were the most envied of the box-people colonies. How many people can find a box that has four rooms?) Anyway, I made my way to the harbor to find my friend Ray, who worked there selling sandwitches. He didn't have the information that I needed, but did offer me some stock in something called a "McDonalds." I politely refused, and was on my way to the next ship when a roving band of gremlins (or were they leprochauns?) kidnapped me and took me to their lair, which at the time was nothing more than an old volkswagon van (and who ever heard of those at the time, anyhow?) but they told me that it was going to get a new shade of paint one day. Inside they had a waterbed, which was pretty cool considering it was a car. They let me go when I offered a yo-yo, so I was kind of upset they didn't even offer me some chicken fried steak, which was popular at the time. Well, on my way back to the harbor I met up with a girl named Olga Von Strappenstaff, who took me to the land of America. I don't remember the voyage at all, so don't ask me why I landed in Oregon dressed in a gorilla suit. Well, Olga was gone, anyway, so I made a vow to never again give in to the temptations of the Dutch. I was pretty flustered as I moved through the redwood forest in Oregon, tourists trying to shoot me and all. Well, I came to this one group, who aimed their lasers at my torso and were about to fire when a gang of Sasquatch attacked them and took me away. I didn't dare take off the gorilla suit, for fear that the bigfoots (bigfeet?) would pummel me with their tape measures. (Still haven't figured out the purpose of those yet, by the way.) Well, the six or five of us came to a big space ship that I was rudely pushed into and flown away in. They offered me a drink from a bowl that I took for a hat at first, except I wondered why it was filled with the strange liquid. Not wanting to catch the flu or anything (for I had seen the others take big, slobbery drinks from the hat-bowl), I held the thing on my lap as we were absorbed into the mother ship. Well, we all got off and came up to this big door gaurded by two yetis wearing dark sunglasses. We got admitted into some fancy doin's, I suppose, cause on the main deck the captain had apparently gotten a party started and all the bigfeets were jamming to what I took for Yoko Ono. "Kees, Kees, Kees, Kees me LAV!! Just, one, Kees will DO!!" And I kind of felt a revelation there that I shouldn't subject such a high species to what they must be taking for high-society culture tunes. I decided I would stand up and say "Look, you've all been fooled! These words are a lie! This lady destroyed the Beetles!" And I really was, too, but then I saw that they had a plate of little debbies out and I thought, "Oh well, Yoko aint all bad." I went for the oatmeal cream pies, but was shoved rudely up to the captain, standing in front of a outrageously oversized control panel. He had on a leisure suit and a martini in one hand and after a moment I realize that it's actually my friend Ray, from the boat. "You really blew it, you know," he said. "All this could have been ours if you had agreed to give in stock for my McDonalds idea." And I was about to ask who the heck this McDonalds guy was (since Ray's last name was Krock) when I saw that he was wearing my mutant-sisters hairband! Instantly I realized what must have happened in my absence: Ray took my sisters hairband to become a Transvestite working in Amsterdam, after which his career took off and he invented a new species of creatures called Sasquatch, and was made their king. I was so mad that he had become involved with the Dutch that I threw the hat-bowl at him. I missed horribly, hitting the giant control board instead and he roared, "My ship! You've ruined it!" To which I replied, "How did you know it was me under the gorilla suit, anyway?" and he said, "Oh you still do that weird thing you do." And I was about to ask one of the bigfeets if they were going to finish thier little debbie when the ship blew up. Luckly, we were close to the ground, so upon reentry I didn't burn up but my gorilla suit melted to my body. I landed in Hollywood, where some hotshot producer guy asked if I had a job and wanted to be the black power ranger. And I was like, sounds cool but I need to check with my agent first. (I didn't really have an agent, but I had heard the line in movies before.) Well, I got the job, and was living my dream. That is, until Power Rangers Turbo came out and got the original cast fired. So, I prowl the bars of Paris at night, telling people that I was once the black power ranger, but no one believes me.
By the way, my sister and my old pal Ray are getting married in November.
Who knew that the reason he had the hairband was cause they were dating?

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO_rhvyGacM

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
Insert another generic chocolate rain video here.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
ಠ_ಠ

- Do you have teddy bears?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keu1voAmcmY

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLKM1ZoPMGM

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
Uber spoiler.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbx5fSge6wo

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yDgkvWh3JQ

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Orange pop.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj1wcs7SZj0

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpA2tMrQ4RU

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU2yt6wOoK0

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
Last Thursday.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J_ksen5P1E

That was a fun hour+. I wonder who's going to watch all of them.

Oh my. I have wasted my life...


-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
Chicken. But I pretend to want to be a vegetarian.

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
3.5 times.

-What's your favourite website?
Besides Yewis? Dunno, but I quite like http://proudatheists.wordpress.com/.

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
I'll pay you if I get to eat mud.

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Chocolate. WITH Vanilla (oooh!).

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Depends what actor, and cowboys rule. So the priest.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
I'm siiiiinging in the rain!

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
I think so? I mean, I might have given my old one away. Hmm. I should check.

-What really irratates you?
I don't know what irratates me, but lawnmowers in the summer irritate me. So does the Pope.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
I need to be having fun. So no, no it is not.

-Chocolate or salad cream?
Salad cream is revolting. Chocolate wins life.

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Oh! Friday.

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
About six hours, and however many periods of General Studies I have that day.

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
Not if I'm reciting it, but yes, I just did.

-What did you have for dinner?
Tuna, or at least - according to my mum.

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
Tricky. Either the actor who plays Miss Marple or that dude from Being Human.

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
£3.01 and a ticket to a bus that went last Tuesday.

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
Technically, it always is. But pragmatically, no. Yeah, that's right. Big word.

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
You've no idea.

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
No, just worse.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
Call-me-Dave Webcameron.

-Why are you still answering the questions?
No.

Paradox? I think so.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
I believe all of these questions are worthwhile.

-Do you love facebook?
No, but I'm addicted.

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
Eragon - because it's so crap.

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
Maths is awesome. Shut up. But no, I probably wouldn't, haha.

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
I've heard this question before, methinks. Hmm. Well, under the bridge.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Bebo.

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
A spade-shaped carrot? Yes.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
Now I have. First time for everything!

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
Maybe for a game of Catch the Frog.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
Yes. Yes, I would.

- Have you ever considered botox?
Not really. I have considered closing this tab, however.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
No.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Dale Winton riding a moth.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
Consider? Dude, I own YouTube.

- What last made you cry?
Seeing how many questions were left.

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
Depends - does it dissolve in acid?

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
I am the teacher of everything.

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
Physics!

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
The island from Lord of the Flies.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
I don't really need to answer this question.

- Are you any good at tennis?
I hit the ball, ball screams, I scream at the ball. I am brilliant.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
Money means nothing to the dead.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
They look pretty, but I wouldn't notice if they weren't there.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
The airbrushed Call-me-Dave Webcameron.

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
VOICES OF THE VALLEY.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
Oh yes. Unless I've sat on it already.

- Do you have teddy bears?
Yes. I am not ashamed.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
I have! I did well in that exam!

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
Ah, but what is 4? It is a symbol whose dimensions are portrayed to me in liquid crystals on a laptop. But freedom is the right to say that 2+2=4.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
Oh, Iraq.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Lemonade.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
Dolphin. So cute.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
I would never work on Saturdays.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
The Lounge forum.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
Tomorrow morning, when the next Gardner's Weekly is out.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
It has a "4" and not a "four", therefore it is "cool" and "contemporary", and so yes. Yes it is. But what is "4"?

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
Beef

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
Once

-What's your favourite website?
YWS

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
You were gonna pay me? Weak.

-Icecream: Vanilla

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Cowboy, they piss me off.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
I don;t really sing actual songs in it.

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
Yes

-What really irratates you?
I'll go with the terrible Joke: Your face

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
No <---------- I said no ya idiot

-Chocolate or salad cream?
...What is salad cream?

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Suturday

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
Um....bout 12 hours or so

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
If I may answer a question with a question. it it T,U,V,W or T,V,W,U?

-What did you have for dinner?

-Who's the sexiest person on television?

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?

-Is it past 9pm where you live?

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
Well, I didn't think it was possible till this one.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
Me!

-Why are you still answering the questions?
I am lonely

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
Well, you asked questions, so yes.

-Do you love facebook?
Eh, its just a website.

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
Godzilla, if that counts.

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
I assume that means mandatory, so yes, but I would just go to the finals and cheat.

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
The Hotel, I'm probably the killer.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Facebook

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
...that sounded so wrong when I read it, so I won;t answer.

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
Ya

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
No, No, No.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
Yes, I don;t like having money on me for some reason.

- Have you ever considered botox?
No, I don;t like my face to be super glued.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
Do I have ADD, yes, yes I do.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
I have no idea who Moth is, so Dale.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
I would, and I bet I could meet RayWilliamJohnson there and get an autograph.

- What last made you cry?
I needed a diaper change.......an hour ago.

- How much would you want to be paid to selotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?

I would want a piece of bread.

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
I don;t want to be a teacher

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
Why would I spend them in either of those?

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
The rainforest so I could be a God for having it.

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
My...well you know, the special area, down there.

- Are you any good at tennis?
I sort of am decent.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
Over 9000!

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
I didn't before your threat if I did.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
Sarah Jessica Parker

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
Anything Nickelback, it be the least waste of cake.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
Yes

- Do you have teddy bears?
My dog chewed a part the stuffed lion a kid from Hawaii sent me in 1st grade, and it was my last one. (Don;t ask why a kid from Hawaii sent me a stuffed lion, I never really knew what was going on back then)

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
nope
- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
2+2 is obviously a Fish
- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
Which one has less bombings?
- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Lemonade, I hate soda

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
A dolphin, I could just stay out of the water.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
I hate my boss, I am always telling me not to wake up, or to wake up.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
A dump, cover myself in caramel or something,turn off the lights, and let the roaches cover me till the bombings are gone.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen? Never, because they aren't alive.

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
Never been on it.

-If you were faced with the option of beef or chicken, which would you go for?
I'm pescatarian, but...chicken, maybe.

-How many times does someone need to repeat something before it gets annoying?
Tricky...I'd say about four or five times. Then again, it depends on what it is.

-What's your favourite website?
I really enjoy TV Tropes, even if it fuels my procrastination further.

-How much would you need to be paid to eat mud?
One million pounds, not for any reason of disgust; just because I'd really like to have that much money. xD

-Icecream: Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?
Chocolate!

-You're greeted by a cowboy, priest and an actor, who would you punch first?
Hmm...The cowboy.

-What's your favourite song to sing in the shower?
I don't sing in the shower. But if I did I'd probably be singing something ridiculously melodramatic or angry.

-Do you have more than 1 ipod?
Yes, if you count my ancient first generation iPod nano, but that doesn't work anymore.

-What really irritates you?
When somebody is pestering me about something I cannot change, am unable to do or simply cannot be bothered with.

-Do you have to be anywhere in 5 minutes? If so, is this quiz holding you up?
No and no!

-Chocolate or salad cream?
Chocolate, because it can sustain your hunger on its own.

-What is your favourite day of the week?
Friday.

-How long do you sleep on Mondays?
I don't know...

-Do you get your alphabet confused after the letter, "T"?
No.

-What did you have for dinner?
Pasta bake. XD

-Who's the sexiest person on television?
I don't watch much TV.

-How much will you pay me to do my own questionnaire?
Nothing.

-Is it past 9pm where you live?
Nope.

-Was the last 1 minute you spent answering the previous question worthwhile?
I didn't spend 1 minute on it!

-Are these questions getting worse and worse?
Most likely.

-Who gave up answering at this point?
Not me. I'm a commited procrastinator!

-Why are you still answering the questions?
Because I have nothing better to do.

-Is it quite clear I didn't know what to ask you after asking whether you preferred chocolate or salad cream?
Pretty clear, yes...

-Do you love facebook?
Not really.

-What's your favourite film with a dragon in it?
I haven't watched enough films with dragons in them to say. I prefer films with totalitarian governments in them, and for an added bonus, that include awesome hats.

-If Maths was compulsory at University, would you still go?
It would depend on what kind of maths, and how early the class would begin. I wouldn't want to get up too early. XD

- You need somewhere to sleep for the night, you're offered a place under a bridge with friendly people, or in a warm comforting hotel where there's a 11% chance someone's a serial killer. Where do you sleep?
Under the bridge.

- Which would you blow up, Twitter, Bebo or Facebook?
Facebook! XD

- Do you think you could dig a man-sized hole with a carrot?
Whaat?

- Have you ever attempted a Maths sum whilst upside down?
No?

- Would you ever actually consider going to France for a holiday? If so, please write a 500+ word essay why.
Already been to France.

- If you had a fiver, or "$5", in your pocket, would you be compelled to spend it?
No, unless I really needed something.

- Have you ever considered botox?
Of course not.

- Are you generally amused by the sight of colourful lights?
Not really.

- What's more annoying, Dale Winton or a Moth?
Dale.

- If Youtube decided it was going to close down for 25 years, would you consider finding the people that run it and staging a hostage situation?
Maaaaaybe.

- What last made you cry?
I thought my phone had stopped working. *taking teen clichés to the extreme*

- How much would you want to be paid to sellotape a loaf of bread to your own head for 1 working year?
This question is the most pointless of the lot, therefore I shall not answer. XD

- Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? If so, would you always start rows with the Maths Faculty?
Noooooo, noo, noo!

- Would you rather spend your last moments in a Physicist's lab or a chemist's lab?
A chemist's lab, maybe they could make some kind of concoction to keep me alive for longer. xD

- What would be your favourite place on Earth to eat a banana split?
None, I don't really like banana splits. XD

- If you were in the Arctic, what bit of your body would you be scared for freezing first?
Why would I be in the Arctic?

- Are you any good at tennis?
I'm okay, I suppose.

- How much would you want to be paid to go work for Daytime telly?
Generally speaking, a lot. And I mean a lot.

- Do you like Antiques? If so, please write a 25 million word essay explaining where your life went wrong.
NO.

- Who's the ugliest person on the telly?
I don't watch much TV, I told you! Were you listening?!?! ;D

- If music was a chocolate cake, who's album would you sit on?
Anything by Florence and the Machine, I wouldn't mind it going to waste.

- If music was a chocolate cake, would you eat music?
Yeah, probably. XD

- Do you have teddy bears?
Only one.

- Have you ever been asked about hot and cold fusion?
No.

- Is 2+2 really 4, or is it just a conspiracy?
Who could ever know? Maybe the government has urged us to think this and it really equals 3? And when we finally find that out, they'll program us to believe it equals 5! Or something.

- Sight seeing destination: Iraq or Iran?
Neither. You never said I couldn't say 'neither', and I don't really much like the chance that I could be blown to pieces.

- Lemonade, Coca-cola or Orange pop?
Lemonade.

- Would you rather be attacked by an elephant or a forty ton dolphin?
The dolphin, it's easier to escape.

- So you have a Saturday job? If so, do you like your boss?
No.

- Where would you go if a nuclear war was iminent?
I'd prefer not to think about it.

- When was the last time you read a magazine and laughed before eating it alive? If never, when do you think this'll happen?
Never and never. How can you eat a magazine alive, anyway?

- Is fish4jobs a good website?
Never been on it.