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How to make reviewers hate you...

Snoink · 2005-11-11T08:21:59Z

Do you want to really get harsh critiques that are positively insulting? Do you want to make writing forums curse and swear at you? Do you want to get the mods warn you? Then read this! These tips are absolutely proven to make you be the most hated member in YWS. Now! In no particular order... 1. READ THIS PLEASE! An oldie, but a goodie. Instead of putting a title on your piece of work, put "READ THIS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The more exclamation marks, the better. 2. Post a lot, but refuse to critique anything. This is a particularly useful way to get you to be extremely hated. The more posts, the merrier! Try to post at least three stories a day if you write stories. If you write poetry, then post seven poems per day. While this is going on, refuse to critique anything. Or! Even better, if you do critique something, it should be a generic response such as: "This was great." Or, even better, "This was great. Read my story ________________." 3. Put a poll on your work! The poll should read, "Do you think this is good?" and only have two answers available. And, if someone votes no, you should make a hissy fit and claim that said member is trying to insult you. 4. If someone gives you a critique, trash it. Tell that critiquer that you are smarter, thus any critique they make is useless. If they tell you that your grammar is horrible, tell them where to shove it up. If they persist, flame them. Tell other people how horrible they are. They deserve it. This is especially useful for anyone who is younger than you. 5. Find the critiquers. Latch onto a particular critic. Then, for every story you write, inform the critic that you have just written a new story and, as such, you need a new review. Remember to post a lot of stories and poems so that you are PMing that critic at least three times per week. 6. Do the same mistakes over and over again. Never edit any of your work, and persist on doing the same mistakes over and over. Then mass PM critics, asking why they never critique your work anymore. 7. Forget to use grammar... Then, when someone comments on it, complain to them that they're trying to take away your artistic edge. Hope to see you around the forums...