12. Write a miserably emo poem, and then make sure to tell all your reviewers that: "It has real emotion", or "I was really feeling this!" Don't forget to whine.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. - Robert Frost
12. Make your hero perfect, just like you, but with superpowers and no faults.
13. Make your bad guys so cool, with black swishing capes, malicious laughs, and a total lack of motivation.
this is fun!
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis
13. When you critique, critique like this, 'That was absolue rubbish. If you want to read brilliant writing, read my story...'
*Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry*
14. Consistently use incorrect spelling (ignoring the existence of your handy-dandy spell-checker) and don't forget to complain that critiquers consistently comment on it.
15. Haunt the chatroom (after spamming proficiently to get your required 25 reviews), constantly begging anyone and everyone there to read your stuff.
15b. If they ask you to review something of theirs in return, say you will, and then never do.
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis
16. If you get less then favorable reviews, simply assume that it's because no one understands you and isn't a true artist like yourself. You're probably right, no one else can possibly compare to your greatness. Be sure to remind us constantly of that fact while you're at it.
Brilliant insights, Snoink
Last edited by omgafilangi on Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
God, this should be a mandated constituion for all writing forums.
"Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills, and listening to repetitive electronic music." --anonymous/banner.
20 (or 21, according to Jabberhut ^_^). Cliché is love! Forget about saying the "scintillating sun." Why not say sparkly and pretty and friendly? Or what about the moon? Lose "iridescent." Shiny is just way better. And since cliché is fabulous, why not go critique other people's work and tell them that rainbows and unicorns and smiley faces are cool too?
<3
This is hilarious! I laughed so hard when I read the first seven posted by Snoink, and I found them so funny I read all the other advice.
22. dont ever use punctuation because its so boring and you just want to write as quickly as you can
23. If anyone hasn't reviewed your piece, lift it up by posting comments like "Hey! You should really read this! Why haven't you read it already???" after it.
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit
"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style
This was amazing! Lol. I think it is hilarious! XD I agree, this should've been posted a LONG time ago. *checks work nervously hoping she didn't make these mistakes* XD
this is fun!
