I didn't want to believe it; hes so young. I couldn't let it happen, not to him, I had to do something. "No mom!" I shouted in despair.
"Nicole, I know you love him." I listened. "I know the both of you have been through allot and I know you don't want to loose him, but could you really let him live like this?" She sounded irritated.
"But he is not just a stupid cat or hamster! He's my horses, my partner, my friend." I said with my teeth clenched tight. "I know there's something we can do; there has to be something!" I said eagerly.
"Look Nicole, there is no way he's going to survive with a broken cannon bone. You remember Oliver? we tried everything with him and he died young too." She looked away then glanced back fast.
I started argueing again, " Hes stronger then Oliver! Please mom, he's only eight and he one of Glaciers last offspring. I'll get a job if I have to pay for what ever it takes." I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes but more broke through.
"Ill talk to the vet one last time. Go over with your horse." She sighed and walked into the next room where the vet was.
There was a small window; of coarse I didn't go over with Spencer. I was peeking through the tiny window to see what was happening to see what would happen to his life...
I saw my mom start to build some tears. I never saw her cry. She was much stronger then that. I watched them arguing back and forth. I knew this wasn't going to turn out well. When I saw the vet shake his head, I knew this was my Spencers last day.
I looked over at my poor friend. He was lying on a cold metal table looking at me. I had never seen him that way. He was the kind who made you wonder what a bad day was if you were even having a bad day.
Spencer wasn't the best looking horse around, especially standing next to our halter horse Scooter. He was almost seventeen hands. I guess he got his moms height her being thoroughbred. His dad was a stocky white paint horse. Spencer had his dad's head, almost all white too. His ears were a bay color. He had some black in his tail. Spencer had beautiful movement. People would walk by and stop to watch him work when we were at shows. He floated along the rail. One thing we proved to the horse world was that a white horse can win to. When I first got him, people talked and said we would never make it, but we did. We helped other white horses get recognixed too.
He was still, knowing what was going to happen. There was much more then just a broken cannon bone. There was metal in his neck, his eyelid was skinned, glass all over his face, a deep cut in his shoulder, he was breathing hard, and his right front cornet band was sliced; all from the crash. His breathing was tho only thing I could hear in the room, the one thing I cared about most, the one thing that could haunt me for the rest of my life. Knowing I might never hear his lungs work again,I studied the noise for about a minute. I held my breath when I heard a quiet sweet nickering flow threw the air crashing through my thought of his breathing. I walked slowely over and ran my fingers gently through his forelock. "I love you Spencer." I managed to say. I knew if he could talk, he would say it back.
I saw his eyes. I noticed they were watery. I took my hand and wiped what I thought was tears away then the same with mine. I knew he was in pain. I wanted to make it stop but there was nothing I could do. We looked at eachother for a second knowing we would never see eachother again. I made myself think about our past. We both knew two things, we needed each other and we made each strong.
As the thought of never seeing him again retuned, I collapsed next to him on the table sobbing. "I can't do it Spencer. I can't let you go." I said it over and over. I knew he didn't want to die at eight years old, who would.
I rested my head on his neck, watching him slowly bleed why I ran my hands through his silky white mane. I didn;t want this to be my last what was minutes to be with my best friend. I laid there for a while, hoping he would just get up.
As I was admiring his face, my mom and the vet walked in interrupting my trance. I fely Spencer twitch as the door slammed shut. My eyes cought the vet with a clipboard and a big tube in the vets hands. It was blue, a pretty blue. Most people called it blue juice. It wasn't pretty at all once I figured it was going to take my best friends life away. I started screaming, "I love you Spencer! Please stay with me! I'm so sorry." I repeated it knowing it would not save his life but trying to let him know how much I really loved him.
My mom told me to go away, to leave the room. Was I really going to let my friend die on a cold table without me? I acted like I didn't hear her. My eyes locked on his cut face trying to picture him healthy again.
I felt my arm get pulled hard and I almost fell off of the table. I realized it was my mom dragging me. When I was stabel again, I pushed her away. My eyes never left him when it happened. My mom rolled her eyes and walked out.
It was just the three of us now. My eyes left his face. I watched the vet walk over and stick the needle in his neck. It took everything I had to keep me from taking it and sticking it in me. "Wait." I said quietly. The vet looked at me with sad eyes. I didn't want to remember th persons eyes who killed my horse. I quickly looked away as I moved. I took a deep breath and jumped back onto the table. The room seemed quieter and darker.
I held Spencers head up and gently moved myself under him. I put his head softly onto my lap. It reminded me of when I would go out late at night or early in the morning when he was laying down and sing to him as he rested in the same position he was in now stroking his soft perfect coat. I started to hum our song we listened to before we went to any show. It was a happy song but I made it seem sad. It was Spencers favorite song. I knew that because everytime it wold come on the radio, he would prickle his ears and start to fall asleep.
His ears started to move to listen. I massaged around his forelock. As I looked back at the vet. I knew it was time. I was still humming the silly song when I gave Spencer one last look and placed my hand over his eye that was looking back at me.
When I saw the tube connect to the needle, I kept my hand over his marble blue eye trying to hum the song in its rythym. I watched the blue killing juice slowly flow into his system. Tears were coming faster as the liquid pumped through his veins. I was almost to the end of the song when there was nothing left in the syringe. The vet pulled it out and rubbed the injection.
As he took his last breathes, I stopped my humming and whispered in his big ear, "I will never forget you." As I said it, his stomach stopped moving, his neck tightened, his mouth fell open, and his ears layed still. I starred at his still body, crying. The vet had already walked out. My hand was still over his eye and I started humming the song again. I finally worked myself up to moving my hand away, still trying to get the song out. I was not humming anymore. I found myself singing.
As I looked down at where my hand had been, his eyes were looking up at me, not taking a break to blink. I sat there with his lifeless head on my lap. I rubbed his clipped ears and patted his silky neck.
I didn't leave him for hours. I was wishing that we could have been rite down the street where the show was, happy friends, winning...alive.
I love you Spencer. I hope your running wild and free in the pastures of heaven looking down upon me and all of the other show horses.
