I'm A Survivor

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I wrote this quite a long time ago. I just want to see how well I was able to write 'back then' which is why I am leaving it unchanged. So you might find some errors. I'm sure by now you all are wondering why most of my stories are related to cancer. I do not have any experience with it (Thank you God) but at one point I was really into it. So yeah. Like I said, I wrote this a while ago. Hope you like(:!

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She looked in the mirror, expecting to see a chestnut brown hair girl, her wavy hair cascading down to her hips, the envy of all her fellow friends. Her eyes, warm brown, the color of chocolate, her favourite thing to eat. A rosy glow would be on her cheeks, the sun licking her face, making her seem like an angel itself.
But that is not what she saw when she looked in the mirror, instead of a stunning beauty, young and so innocent, she could have been brought down from angels themselves, she saw a fragile, pale child. So weak, so much in pain, that a mere touch from someone, could shatter her into pieces, never to be reunited and fixed again.
Her once beautiful, smooth, soft as butter hair was gone, to be replaced by an ugly mound of sprouting grass like fuzz.
Her eyes once so sparkly like the stars on a dark night, were replaced with brown, lifeless, dull eyes, staring back at her, as if saying ‘I am alive, but not living.’
Her cheeks, once a glowing rose pink, chubby and glowing, making her look even more of a little princess, was replaced by sunken in cheeks, her cheeks bones visible, making her look like a hungry child who had not eaten for days and days, roaming around the street, begging for even a little morsel of food.

Memories of that day flashed through her mind, a smile creeping upon her face as she remembered her mom, her hero, hugging her tightly. She had just gotten straight A’s on her report card, and her mother couldn't’t have been prouder. Like all days they celebrated with ice cream, her mom buying the regular fat free strawberry sherbet, and herself a banana split. Everything was perfect.
But then it all changed quickly, so fast, it was almost unexpected.
She walked back to the car, the remains of her split still in a tiny bowl, grasped tightly around her small hands. She was saving it for later, smart child she was. Her mind thought of moving forward, to reach the car, but her legs had a strange mind of their own. Her body didn’t seem to obey her, and soon she felt dizzy and helpless as she fell to the ground softly, like a ballerina landing onto the stage, after leaping. Before her eyes closed, she looked over to see her mother’s face, horror struck. Then everything went black.

Hurt, it hurt.
When just a few months ago, she had found out she had skin cancer.
It hurt, knowing that she might never see her family’s faces ever again.
It hurt,
Going through all that treatment, and pain.
It hurt, when she lost all her soft, shiny hair.
It hurt…
When she found out, that chances of survival were rare.

A wet tear slid down her rosy cheek, as the memories ended.
“Kassandara !” Her mother called, awakening her senses.
“C’mon ! We have to go to the hospital !” Her mother called out.
“Coming !” She shouted, her voice coming out dry, and croaky.
She looked in the mirror and smiled, her cheeks giving off that tint of color,
Her eyes giving off that sparkly glint,
Her hair, not a lot, but still shiny and soft.

She took in a deep breath, smiling.
This was her.
All the pain, she had been through was over.
She was a survivor.
And today, on her birthday, the day she cherishes the most,
She is going to go to the hospital, and thank everyone who cured her.
In her time of fear…and never ending pain.
They helped her, treated her.

At that moment she realized something.
We all get hurt in life, some way or the other.
Some, by getting their hearts broken,
Others by losing everything.
And in her case,
Having to fight a cruel illness.
But if you spend it, with people that love, and care about you.
The hurt, begins to vanish…slowly…slowly.
Until it gobbles up into nothing, and evaporates in the air, leaving behind nothing but a cured heart, and clean soul.




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Hi JD, peanut here :).

She looked in the mirror, expecting to see a chestnut brown hair girl, her wavy hair cascading down to her hips, the envy of all her fellow friends. Her eyes, warm brown, the color of chocolate, her favourite thing to eat. A rosy glow would be on her cheeks, the sun licking her face, making her seem like an angel itself.


After I read this paragraph I already knew what she was missing. I knew that her hair used to be brown and long and her eyes were brown. Then you went back and explained it. You can just tell us that the girl she sees in the mirror is not the same. Then start the explanations.

I liked how towards the end you used a sentence or a few words for each line(even though you could have just made a paragraph). It seemed like I was reading a poem about her life and what happened to her. I don't know if that's what you intended but that's what I saw.
This was good for something written a while ago and I didn't really see any spelling mistakes or anything. :)

~peanut~
There is a light in you, a Vision in the making with sorrow enough to extinguish the stars. I can help you.
~And The Light Fades


The people down here are our zombies, who should be dead or not exist but do.
~Away From What We Started


P.S Got YWS?




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Hi! This was quite touching. However, it needs a lot of editing. You are an advanced writer, and you could catch most of them yourself if you just skim through. Now, Here's the one part I didn't get at all:
Memories of that day flashed through her mind, a smile creeping upon her face as she remembered her mom, her hero, hugging her tightly.


This is all fine and good, but when you say "that day" I assumed you meant "earlier that day". As I read on, it became apparent that it was not so.

It's a shame that you won't edit this-- with some work it could be very good.

Great job, overall!

-Dreamy :mrgreen:
Honey, you should see me in a crown.




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thanks guys!
dreamy - yeah, but like I said. I really just want to see how well I was able to write back then. Gives me more insight and shows me how I have improved, and if I have gotten better in my weak points :)



That awkward moment when you jump out a window because your friend jumped out a window, then you remember that your other friend can fly.
— Rick Riordan, The Ship of the Dead