Vandalism and Knives

8 posts
User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1278
Reviews 1
My voice,
Is the echo of my actions,
And the lives that I've harmed.

These hands,
Are the giver of my hatred,
And the anger in my soul.

My life,
Is painting on walls,
And carving my name,
In people's hearts.

My choice,
Has brought me to hell,
This life is just shit,
But the knife, it so hurts.

These friends,
Are only my friends,
When I harm others,
And fuck up their lives.

Now this life,
Is stained with blood,
And not of my own,
But the people I've harmed.

I can't,
Take back my actions,
Or change my life,
Because I've chosen to live,
By the code,
Of vandalism and knives.
Last edited by Brushfire on Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If 2012 really is the end of the world, I need my book published now.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3793
Reviews 143
"This probably only appeals to Emo people." Wow I actually liked this, are you calling me emo? Nevermind, I'm dropping that subject. I would really love to hear this with a beat and everything.
LoVeLeSs I review short stories and novels.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1278
Reviews 1
Well, maybe one day, like, next year when I can fully play guitar I'll add something, lolz. Thanks for the feedback!
If 2012 really is the end of the world, I need my book published now.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3793
Reviews 143
If I could I would teach you to play guitar! But that is kinda impossible. Ha ha!


XOXOXOXOXOXO
Summer Night
LoVeLeSs I review short stories and novels.

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 7250
Reviews 57
Whoa. That right there was amazing. I could almost hear it playing in my head.
http://maxhelmberger.com/
Advice on writing, funny articles, and more.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 2926
Reviews 122
This song was great, but I don't call it emo, I call it kick ass! The moral of the song was great and the words were used great. Anyways you got talent! I hope you will write more like these songs were you can describe and show were evil can lead. Lots of songs are all about love and I am just so sick and tired of it. I finally can read something new.
Blood is red
But Heaven is blue
The Devil will fined out
And take you




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
i loved it very good keep it up :)
~BURN the WATER~




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 33076
Reviews 1167
I really have nothing negative to say about this.
I liked that you didn't follow a set rhyme scheme. Sometimes that works in songs but a lot of times I think it gets too rhymey-rhymey and it's like, oh I need to find a word that rhymes with gold, let's make bold fit in because that's the first word I thought of. :)
The rhythm was pretty good. I could hear the song in my head as I read it. Sometimes I thought the rhythm got slightly off but if it it's all smooth and awesome sounding for you, that's what matters.
I liked the topic and the emotion it brought out.
Me like. Gold star for you. :D

-Carly
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!


Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3



The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names.
— Chinese proverb