Meth=Death

(Only Bass)

*relaxed and high voice

Can you feel it?
The smoke flowing through your mind…
Open your strange imagination,
I am taken to a weird new dimension ….

(Drums enter)

*whisper, the singer says the words like rappers do, not sing.

Wasted my time when I shouldn’t have
Hiding from my parents, hanging low
Ignoring them when they cried for me on the radio
Hanging out with kids who I thought were true friends

(Guitar enters)

*Continues rapping in a whisper, but you notice the voice becomes more intense

I tried something new
I completed the shit
Breathed it in a little bit
But it was to late

*The voice roughens, the singer still raps

The drug became my life’s solo
The drug became my life’s solo
The drug became my life’s solo

(Music stops)

*Singer whispers

From that day, my life was burnt away…

(Music goes load)

*Singer roars in a death metal style

Death!!!!
Meth!!!

Fuck you! you're weak!
I am the god of your mind,
I am now in control…

Death!!!!
Meth!!!

Fuck you! Your weak!
I am the god of your mind,
I am now in control…


(Music stops)
(Only Bass)

*relaxed and high voice

Life seemed, so beautiful
Life felt so magical
I didn’t care… Anymore about anything
I wasn’t anymore a human being

(Drums enter)

*whisper, the singer says the words like rappers do, not sing.

Drugs over here, drugs over there,
Drugs every where.
Puffed it all day long until
My eyes died away

(Guitar enters)

*Continues rapping in a whisper, but you notice the voice becomes more intense

Instead of seeing a bright light…
It was red!
It wasn’t coming from the sky
It was under…

*The voice roughens, the singer still raps

The drug became my life’s solo
The drug became my life’s solo
The drug became my life’s solo

(Music stops)

*Singer whispers

From that day, my life was burnt away…

(Music goes load)

*Singer roars in a death metal style

Death!!!!
Meth!!!

Fuck you! you're weak!
I am the god of your mind,
I am now in control…


Death!!!!
Meth!!!

Fuck you! you're weak!
I am the god of your mind,
I am now in control…

*Vocalist begins to slowly breath harder and harder

Death!!!! -
Meth!!!
Death!!!!
Meth!!! (stretched)



(Music goes load)

*Singer roars in a death metal style

Death!!!!---------------------------------------------The drug became my life’s solo
Meth!!!---------------------------------------------- The drug became my life’s solo

Fuck you! you're weak!
I am the god of your mind,
I am now in control…

Death!!!!---------------------------------------------The drug became my life’s solo
Meth!!!---------------------------------------------- The drug became my life’s solo


Fuck you! you're weak!
I am the god of your mind,
I am now in control…

Wow. That was really deep and I could hear the music in my head. It really hit me hard because I know some people who do drugs and stuff. I loved how you got loud and soft right where I would have expected. It was really really REALLY awesome! Keep at it!

Hey there, this isn't really my type of song so I'm going to focus on the couple of mistakes I saw.

Can you feel it,

Question mark at the end.

The smoke flowing through your mined

I'm assuming you mean "mind"

Wasted my time when I shouldn’t have
Hiding from my parents, hanging low
Ignoring them when they cried for me on the radio
Hanging out with kids who I thought were true friends

There's no grammar here - add some comma's and full stops (periods).

I tried something new
I completed the shit
Breathed it in a little bit
But it was to late

Again, no punctuation. It'll be pretty simple to put in but it will look better and be easier to read with it.

Fuck you! Your weak!

It's you are so you should put "you're"

Life seemed, so beautiful

I don't think you need the comma in the middle here.

I wasn’t anymore a human being

This sounds a little wierd. It might be best if you just say "I wasn't a human being anymore."

Drugs over here, drugs over there,
Drugs every where.

I've like what you've said until now, but these lines don't fit in. They aren't as deep and personal, they don't seem well though out. Keep the idea of drugs being everywhere, but rethink your words.

Overall
It's good! I like the way you're going with it and you wrote well and with feeling about something that's a big issue now.
Well done!
Hope this helps and PM me if you have any questions.
~Amy

I am the god of your mined,

Mind?

Hmm... This song seems to have a clear point, and you are conveying it in an attention hugging way. The only think that popped into my mind (as you asked me not to comment on the grammar) was that (to me at least) the line "Hanging out with kids who I thought were true friends" seems quite detached from the rest of the song. You don't seem to refer to that issue other than that. It's like you're writing a poem about apples, and suddenly you say "banana!" without giving a clear link. Other than that, a good effort worthy of a dancing pink elephant.

I have been thinking about this song for a very long time. Couple months later I decided to write it down. I have lots of freinds that do drugs, I worte that about them. Beacuse at first you will fell perfect and live in a wonderful world but then loose everything! Family, job, freinds, yourself and alot more.

Sorry for the long wait.

This was an interesting idea for a song. I liked the relationship you gave between the different styles of singing. Like the soft, melodic singing to the screaming death metal singing. Maybe I'm reading too far into it but I got the impression that it was like the relationship one may be on if they're on meth. Like they feel all peaceful when they take it but then it takes over their life and gets completely out of control. I don't know I've never done meth.
A couple of things:

lordgluzman wrote:Can you feel it?
The smoke flowing through your mind…
Open your strange imagination,
I am taken to a weird new dimension ….

I liked this opening.

lordgluzman wrote:Hiding from my parents, hanging low
Ignoring them when they cried for me on the radio

This rhyming sounded a little forced to me.

lordgluzman wrote:From that day, my life was burnt away…

I liked this because of the 'burnt away', you have to light up to smoke meth (right?) so you're burning something, and it's burning your life away. I don't know if that's what you were thinking when you wrote it but I liked it.

lordgluzman wrote:Death!!!!
Meth!!!

Isn't it funny how those two things rhyme?

Those are pretty much all the nit-picks and things I wanted to point out.
I could hear the song pretty well in my head, so good job there. It flowed pretty well overall and your rhyme-scheme wasn't too rhymey-rhymey for me, except for that one thing I pointed out.

-Carly

*sniffle* That was so touching. I've known people who know people who do it, and this is how I've heard it tends to go. First it's nice, and the music is soft. Then it starts getting bad, you're getting addicted. Then things start turning bad.

TalaPaulwic wrote:*sniffle* That was so touching. I've known people who know people who do it, and this is how I've heard it tends to go. First it's nice, and the music is soft. Then it starts getting bad, you're getting addicted. Then things start turning bad.

Yea that happened to me alot as well except most of my freinds smoke weed but it doesnt matter what yu smoke it matters what are you going to do about it.