Can someone please review me work. Needed for tomorrow.

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Hey i just finished my story for school. We have been doing this for about a week. If i don't get atleast a B my mums going to kill me. So i have come to ask the experts (you) what you should think i will get from a extract i took out from the story.

topic53018.html

i would also just like to enforce the point all i need is a B

Thanks you very much :D




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*Moved to Will Review For Food*

Could you ask this in one of the threads in this forum, please?

Thanks,
Blinky
"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction." ~ Oscar Wilde




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Hello, I am one of the res crew mods here on YWS. This is a message just to inform you that I will lock and archive this thread as it is not active anymore. We have to archive and lock the inactive threads to keep the forum organized so no worries if you'd like to reopen it at any point in the future please contact a current resources moderator, we would be happy to reopen it for you ^-^

-ALICE
Imagination is a superpower. Use it well!



Steps to enlightenment brighten the way, but the steps are steep. Take them one at a time.
— Cheshire Cat (American McGee's Alice)