Fists (Rock, rap, and death metal style.)

(Rock style)
Bring on the lights,
Bring on the gang fights,
Pray to God before you die,
Swear that you will never cry,

The fists pound on your chest!
As the sweat on our skins infest! (Stretched)

(Rap style)
I am what I was born to be
No matter what they say to me
Stand tall, never fall
I swore I would never crawl

Everyday I have to struggle like in a war
Sometimes I ask to God ‘What is this for?’
Brothers listen to me never give up
‘Never stop’

A kid pushes you around thinking that it’s okay
But as you look deeper to his blood it all will decay…

(Rock style)
Bring on the lights,
Bring on the gang fights,
Pray to God before you die,
Swear that you will never cry,

The fists pound on your chest!
As the sweat on our skins infest! (Stretched)

(Rap style)
I think that I made my point
Step into my joint
A place were we stand up for each other
You must be independent brother

I will fight for you, my friend
Our fists will make a nice blend
Brothers listen to me never give up
Never stop

A kid pushes you around thinking that it’s okay
But as you look deeper to his blood it all will decay…

(Rock style)
Bring on the lights,
Bring on the gang fights,
Pray to God before you die,
Swear that you will never cry,

The fists pound on your chest!
As the sweat on our skins infest! (Stretched)

(Death Metal style)
Tired of this shit!
I won’t throw a fit!
It’s time to feel my fist!
Seems like you don’t care!
About fucking peace!!!
Fucking peace!!! (Stretched)

(Rock style)
Bring on the lights,
Bring on the gang fights,
Pray to God before you die,
Swear that you will never cry,

The fists pound on your chest!
As the sweat on our skins infest! (Stretched)

Hey! I just got your message requesting a critique and here I am! As I said in my reply though, I'm not really good at these types of critiques so it probably won't be much.

First I would like to say that I'm not sure that these lyrics work that well with the melody. I think that the lyrics are very well written but they need music to go with the different styles of singing.

Also, I found a few typos/confusing spots that I'll point out for you here:

‘Never stop’

Why is this in quotes?

Tiered of this shit!

Should be Tired, note Tiered.

As the sweat on our skins infest! (Stretched)

This is the last line of each chorus. Why is the word Stretched in brackets? Is the word supposed to be stretched? Is the singer supposed to sing it? Maybe make it a little more obvious.

That's about it. Sorry if it wasn't so helpful. Good luck!

~ Kitty

Love this, love this, love this.
Great chorus and a really great blend of metal, rock, and rap.
The only thing I have is this line seemed out of rhythm:

I think that I made my point
Step into my joint

Other than that, awesome!
Gold star for you

-Carly

At first listen [with the music] I wasn't entirely sure how the two parts fitted together, but I think I've worked it out now and it does sound really good all together. The few errors I'd noticed have already been covered so just wanted to say well done.
Just to check though, when it says "(Stretched)" I took that as a sort of stage direction to the singer to stretch the last word (like in the original Linkin Park song). Is that what you meant by it?

(Streched) means that the singer needs to strech his vocals while he sings the last word.

...

Lord Gluzman, been awhile since i've been able to read one of your songs.

Expression v. conformity. Idk..perhaps since we are dealing with a song here, some rules intended for such lyrical expression as poetry may not apply here. I believe, even, should the majority of songs in this genre (these three genres i should say) be dissected, most would fail in regards to structure and conformity to literary device. But, if I do not examine those aforementioned, what then?

I would examine where the Work may have lost me, such as:

"As the sweat on our skins infest!"

I know, or think I know, what you meant here. Sweaty bodies, right? Infest seems a little out of place here, though i sense that you placed it this way to depict to the reader (listener) the degree or extent to which sweat formed on these bodies. There is good imagery in this Work, but I couldn't picture this. This isnt a mental image of the formation of sweat, but rather begins with the existence of it then forming an action (infest). Maybe nothing, but its rather important as the line repeats itself later in the Work.

There is a bit of a contradiction in this:

"It’s time to feel my fist!

Seems like you don’t care!

About fucking peace!!!"

Especially since the lines are in sucession. Seems like the speaker (narrator?) doesn't care about peace either, nevertheless he would make the other feel his fist.

Lastly

"I won’t play a fit!"

What does that mean? Should it be "I won't throw a fit!" ?
Even if this is the meaning, then it is contrasted in the followup line
"Its time to feel my fist!"

Your music is refreshing Gluzman, keep making it.

DSR