Warning to Amateurs: Professional Poetry

*snaps fingers*
Finally, a poem with rhyme and meter and not a senseless rant! That's what I call poetry. Mostly because the other kind I can just shoot out of my *expletive* most of the time. Just one little quip I have:

.....Now if your piece behooves a chew,
..........because odd verse feels clotted,
.....we’re apt to think your retinue
..........will opt for food less solid.

"Clotted" does not rhyme with "solid" very well.

Enjoyable and witty. But it sounds a bit pretentious. If you poked fun at your own pretentiousness, then it would be an even better poem .But i truly did enjoy it. There was some real thought put in here, and that makes it refreshing.

Simply horrible.

Yeah right. This is actually a good poem. It isn't a poem that complains how unfair life is or is full of expletives (sin uno). I don't read or write poetry very much so I can't say anymore than that.

XD Oh, this was funny!

I love your advice to poets... and it was written in such a pretentious manner that it ended up making fun of the pretentiousness in poetry. And lengthy words. Strangely enough, I understood it.

Funny...

I applaud your reference to Apollinaire. Only one part I thought needs help:
"Mature poets have little yen to read" - I was under the impression that yen is a currency... please correct me if I am wrong.

".....So show some flair, Apollinaire,
..........lest word-stews turn out fetid.
.....And take, for fuck’s sake, proper care
..........with expletives deleted!"
Fuck yeah!


".....At end of day, what can we say
..........of a ranter’s anguished gasp?
.....Your will to reach – feet stuck in clay –
..........may just exceed your grasp."
Very nice image. Well-constructed.
The elipses are distracting- Are they necessary?

The ellipses were to give the stanzas proper spacing. For whatever reason, Nate hasn't been able to get the posts to retain their original formatting. Blah blah blah.

Yeah, we really need a [center][/center] tag. They have it in proboards, and I think you can add it... I'll bring it up to Nate.

Funny but cruelly pointed. As was said, it would be funny if it was felt you were poking fun at yourself as well.

You might want to considered using "good" instead of "mature". Some mature poets suck monkey butt and some amateur poets will knock your socks off, given a chance. Also, amateur simply implies unpublished, so mature would indicate publication rather than quality. Just a thought.

The piece is satirical: my Poetry Workshop professors are morons who value publications over intellectual depth and breadth.

I'm writing a story for our university newspaper about the pressures to publish that professors feel... it's almost a disease...