This is not a fairytale

-Guitar-

Don’t tell me I’m not strong
I’m sick of all these lies
Don’t tell me you will stay with me
When I know you’re telling lies

And don’t even try to say
This is a happy ending

Cause you’re not the one
You’re not my prince
On a beautiful horse
You’re more like the sidekick
That turns into a monster

I’m not saying I’m a princess
Cause princesses are lame
They always get their happy ending
And I don’t have my happy ending

Silly Snow White ate that apple
Prince Charming came and kissed her softly
Cinderella lost her slipper
Prince Charming came and found her

I’m no damsel in distress
I just want a guy not like the rest

Don’t tell me I’m not strong
I’m sick of all these lies
Don’t tell me you will stay with me
When I know you’re telling lies

And don’t even try to say
This is a happy ending

-Guitar-

And I’m not princess
I just want somebody better

Don’t tell me I’m not strong
I’m sick of all these lies
Don’t tell me you will stay with me
When I know you’re telling lies

And don’t even try to say
This is a happy ending

Don’t even try to say
This is a happy ending

It’s no happy ending

Its a good start maybe try and make a few of the lines flow in together more because at points you will find it getting choppy. Other than that I like your out look.
~ Leslie~

I really like it. It has a nice rhythm to it. The lyrics are really good. I love it.

- Anshita

Hey! I've never done lyrics before, and it's kind of hard to critique without knowing your tune, so bear with me here.

I just want a guy not like the rest I think it might sound better if you used 'unlike' instead of 'not like.'

I couldn't find anything else. I really like this, it's kind of a cliched idea but it's presented so that it's not stale, if that makes sense.

Keep it up.
-Mars

Hello!

First of all, I agree with Mars. It will be hard to critic this, since I don’t know the tune. But I’ll try!

Don’t tell me I’m not strong
I’m sick of all these lies
Don’t tell me you will stay with me
When I know you’re telling lies

I don’t think I like the repetition of “lies”. I would change that.

And don’t even try to say
This is a happy ending

I like this line.

You’re more like the sidekick
That turns into a monster

Of all the princess stories I’ve heard, the Price rarely has a sidekick; and I’ve never heard of one turning into a monster.

I’m not saying I’m a princess
’Cause princesses are lame

When you said “You’re not my prince”, you kinda are comparing yourself to a princess.

They always get their happy ending
And I don’t have my happy ending

I don’t know about this. In some songs, ending two lines in a row with the same word works fine; but in others it doesn’t sound too great.

Silly Snow White ate that apple
Prince Charming came and kissed her softly

That last line doesn’t flow with the rhythm.


So, I’m not sure I like how the chorus rhymes, but nothing else does. Most songs rhyme, after all.

I think the subject is a tad bit cliché. I’ve heard this song before. (I think the Cheetah Girls did something like it?) And “White Horse” kept on running trough my head when I read this. Something I’m curios about is the relationship between the characters. Some songs tell a story. I think this one was trying to, since it mentioned the boy, but I didn’t really have anything to sink my teeth into.

So anyway, that’s about it. I’d really like to hear this song played!

See ya around!
-Y