Before you begin reading, I would like to state that this is kind of a sequel to "David" by Earle Birney. I do not like the story, but this was an assignment for school. Now, I know this fits under fan fiction, but I thought it was unique enough to deserve it's own place (I do not like having to continue others work). It is not necessary to read "David" to get this poem as I have included all important elements in this.
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What David Taught Me - Written by Jaret
The rain fell down with the grace of the eagle. Everything was soaked by its ever-growing presence. I stood, mystified within its range, soaking myself completely. The soft splashes that emitted from the increasing amount of puddles soothed my hardened heart. Here, in this perfect moment, my soul felt replenished, almost whole again; almost, but not completely.
I tried to tune out my persistent negative thoughts by focusing on the sights of the city, watching Heaven's water touch all. I attempted to concentrate on the sound of the splashes, the dripping of the sky's sea. Unsurprisingly, it was not a peaceful sound that filled me. No, it was a sound that I had heard playing endlessly since the incident. What entered my ears was the scraping of rocks, the disturbed scampering. I lifted my hands to my ears straining to remove the hellish sound from my brain. The noise remained.
I looked up to the sky before bounding off the cool bench I had been resting on. My body was replenished, but my soul was not. Unfortunately, there was no rest for uneasy souls. As I ran down man-made paths and past smiling faces, the screeching of finger nails on rock grew without cease. I had to escape the rain's boundless cage, the unshakable reminder. I arrived at my worn down house and stopped upon the cracked steps. I turned my face upward to face the sky; the source of the pounding javelins which soaked me. How could the rain, so peaceful and refreshing, become an agonizing burden of guilt? I shouted curses upward, then darted in.
I shut the door loudly behind me and began to undress. The jacket on my back slipped off with little effort; I hung it on a hook to dry. I bent down to untie my sopping shoes and place them out of sight for they, covered in heaven's curse, held on to the reminder of the grudge; the grudge of inward blame. I buried them within the depths of my small closet and then stumbled into my poorly lit living room.
I walked over to my small dresser to retrieve some dry clothes. Once dressed, I walked over to the fridge in the kitchen to grab a can of beer. With it in hand, I sat on the only chair I owned. I cracked open the lid of the can and took a sip. It was bitter and suited my depressed mood. It was strange drinking this substance. Back when I was in the mountains, I wouldn't have even touched the stuff.
The mountains; how I hated them. I enjoyed them only days ago, scaling all that crossed us. Back when mountains were more than a reminder of the bloody predicament, David and I would climb them ceaselessly. Together, we conquered all, no matter the terrain. We had even laughed in the face of danger, though, through acts of incredible recklessness, the mountain had claimed him. I would never view a mountain the same.
A familiar pit formed in my stomach. No matter how often it returned, the pain would never numb. Here I was, two weeks later, feeling just as I had immediately after handing David into the selfish claws of death. My friend was no more, and only his distorted body remained; the body and the disturbing images which haunted me.
The images filled every moment since that miserable day two weeks ago. They were images that I had attempted to oppress but could succeed. The jarring rock, the bloody stream of life, the falling body; those were the images which stalked me. I remembered it all too clearly. David had fallen due to my carelessness. And then, just minutes later, I had pushed his tortured body off of that damned cliff and into oblivion. There was no way to kill those memories. I knew these images were apart of me for eternity.
Would this pain never leave? Would I never move past this? I now understood David's insane plea, his craved euthanasia. Sometimes, there are things that will never come to pass, that will always remain to stalk and rape you of your happiness. David had taught me that in the last minutes before his soul departed from this world. This pain was here to stay forever in my wincing heart.
No, I couldn't accept that, I wouldn't. I needed the pain to pass, to be free to live. My mind would not be stuck in this state forever! It couldn't! Unfortunately as I thought more and more about David, my hope faded and darkness returned. David was gone and all that he had left me was pain; pain and misery.
I stood up violently, splashing the beer upon the white carpet. I couldn't take this pain, not any longer. I needed relief and peace of mind. If time wasn't going to give it to me, I would just have to take it. There was only one way to numb my pain, and that was to follow David's teachings. I walked over to the closet and pulled out an old rope.
As David was dying, he taught me. He taught me not only that some pain would never fade, but he also taught me something else. He taught me something important, and I was going to live by that teaching; Live and die. What David taught me was that if something couldn't live as it was designed to, there was no reason for it to live. When I was created, I was designed to live with David as my friend. He had been placed here to provide me company, and I to be his friend. We were to live, learning more about each other. Now, I would never know anymore about my best friend. I would never learn anything more from David.
Standing on my only chair, I lifted the rope. Above me, the ceiling remained unfinished, bare rafters at even distances. I looked up, my gaze meeting what I already knew was there; a hole. For the few nights that I slept in this house before returning to the mountains, I had always noticed that hole. It had annoyed me at the time, and I wondered why it existed. Now, I knew its sole purpose was so that I could perform my upcoming stunt. I slipped the rope through the hole and tied it.
At the bottom of the rope, I tied a slip knot. The rope was the perfect length for impending suicide. Very soon, the pain would leave me and I would be free from emotion's hypnotic pull. I pulled the rope toward me and then lifted it over my head. For a moment I stood and contemplated my life. I thought of all the good things I would miss out on and almost reconsidered; almost, but not completely. Even if I did live on, the horrible pain would be there. I shuddered at the thought. Now that I had made my resolve, it was time to act. I kicked the chair out from under me.
Initially, all I felt was shock. My body began to twitch and shake as the knot tightened around my neck. I looked around my room and realized that this was the last thing I would see before death claimed me. At least it was away from the mocking mountains. As I dangled just above the floor, my mind returned to David. He had taught me so much, and now I was acting upon it. Wait, there was something else, something he had taught me but I had forgotten. At first, it was clouded, but then it struck me like a thousand needles. David had taught me that anything could be conquered. Together, David and I had conquered mountain after mountain. Though it was hard, we eventually conquered it. I realized that my pain was like a mountain. I could conquer it!
I forced my shaking hands up to the knot and tried to loosen it. The knot was too tight! I could feel an emotion I hadn't felt since I saw David disappear growing inside of me. The panic filled me up and forced scared images into my head. I searched the room for something, anything to save me. Thinking was difficult, too difficult. I assumed it was due to the oxygen inside of me growing old. My eyes opened wide as I saw it. There, only a few feet away on the counter, a knife lay still. I reached out my hand to try to grab it. It was too far. I tried again and failed. I searched my mind for some way to reach it. With the air in my body running low, I reached my hands up to the rope and pulled myself up. The pressure on my neck relieved slightly but not enough to allow the flow of air. Then I began to swing. I swung my limp body, further and further, until I was sure I could reach the rope. I released my grasp on the rope and reached for the knife.
There was a quick stab of pain, and then, black. Everything was gone. All thoughts, all life... gone. When I had reached for the knife, I had forgotten to continue holding myself up with one hand. My thoughts had slowed due to a lack of oxygen, and I had never reached the knife. Now, I was gone, floating through an endless abyss of nothing. I was dead, lost forever. I would never see anything again. This was the end. If only I could have remembered all of what David had taught me, I would still be living. Now, I was gone and I would never learn again.
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I really hope you enjoyed this piece. I find it a shame that it has to be related to another piece of work. Please review as this is for school. I will post my final mark on this at the bottom of this post. Please be harsh! I want to get a good a grade as possible. Anything you don't like, tell me about. All comments are very much welcome. Also, give me a gold star if you liked this! Thank you for reading.
