Two Faced

Two Faced

Love is a force for good.
It can turn an overcast day
To a warm summer one.
With pink, satin clouds,
Enveloping the sky
In a slippery embrace.
It can make a simple day
come alive and dance
in the heat of Latin fire.
Love brings color
to a white-washed world.


Love is dangerous.

Love can suck the life
from those in love.
Filling the broken lovers
with hurt
that they fail to hide
beneath their cold indifference.
It can be addictive
like candy to a sugar addict.
It can suck you in,
And make sure you never get out.
Love is dangerous.

Those who are wise
will search for love
and embrace it,
knowing when they die
that they have found it.
Those who are wise
Will be wary of love.

This was simple and straightforward, but competently handled. A couple of nit-picks before I start: you don't need to repeat "love is dangerous" at the end of that stanza (it works better without it, as there's no parallel with "love is a force for good"), and watch out for your spacing.

That said, the major problem I had with this was it was too simple and straightforward. We know this about love. Why are you telling us? It's not news, and it's not presented in any unique or interesting way. You have some nice imagery in there, but so what? There's no pull in this poem, and it reads as very flat and cliche.

The trick with poetry is to find new and unusual ways to present something that is already older than the hills; judging from what I've seen here, you have the potential to do this but you need to dig deeper. My advice would be to branch out. Find a new subject, or pick an image and play with it, make it personal, give it some meaning. You're limiting yourself by sticking to what's already been done.

Cheers,
~bubbles

very true thanx for ur imput ur right. I just wanted to see if I could write a poem because it's the one kind of writing I never do. it was a class assignement that I changed a little. poetry is not my thing so yeah it was kinda nerve racking to post this

For someone who seldom (never?) writes poetry, you do seem to have a good grasp of the basics Class assignments can sometimes make for rather stiff work, so it would be really neat to see what you can accomplish on your own - keep writing! You'll be surprised how much fun poetry can be.

Cheers
~bubbles

PS: Watch the chat-speak, please

i'll maybe try writing one on my own thanks (and yes it is probably more like never I hate to admit it but I just find poetry really hard) thanks again for your help!