Adna's NaPoWriMo 2009

20 posts1, 2
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Here we go. :D
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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Note: expect these to suck and you just might be pleasantly surprised.


#01:

The victims countless fall before
the scourge, the scorn, the torture,
from sinners, Gentile soldiers;
one by one they make their cruel end.

A device awaits outside it--
the metropolis of the
day--rough, painted rusty red,
by lives and convicts hung before

A cross between the rack and noose,
and then the aid is granted,
pity given, rescue done:
hammers taken to their temples.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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#02:

she moves to the mailbox
something behind
follows her shadow won't be left behind
in the dark

her breath and her breathing
leave something desired
desire she longs to be found where her hands
will now hide

the dust and new-car smell
the sanitation--
at least when it comes to the mail and airports
she'll be done.

I'm left so high
I'm so lied
to look me in my unhinged mind
fire's all on water
look into my unhinged mind too
lied I am


I follow her shadow
she left me behind
it can't be the morn must be mid of the night
to her eyes

her trips and inhaling
the merchants know her
the planes take her upward so often she's
no longer scared

and higher
I'm left so tired
dare and look into my unhinged mind
your past is all on water
reflected on my unhinged mind
left unhigh
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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#03:

Blushing flowers,
plum hue is as close as roses come
to blue hearts and fallen stars.
The déjà vu of spring
has gone over the moon about
life.
But dreaming for the sleepless
is lead minds and
sunlit nights.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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#04:

One missing chair, among the tables,
Someone took it
..................................................out of the way.

Someone br oke the missing chair
thoughts are
...................weighty things.

Someone hid the missing chair,
To hide the person missing from their midst

Someone used the missing
As an ASSAULT WeApOn
Used bare hands to tear it assun
der
Some of the bro ken p-i-e-c-e-s can be seen,
Of the missing chair.

Someone is fixing the missing chair,
Playing a—shh—prank.

..................on.
WInk and carry
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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I really like #2, Adna. It's odd, but it works XD
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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Yes, yes, I'm behind. Ssshh.

#05

When raven feathers fall in dust, when
the flower replaces the scroll,
and the gong is rung,
the eyes glow,
then the floor quakes with the earth's spinning

Around the sun, towing the time and
killing the rose, spins the chessboard,
blushing with heat from
a growing
fire, feeding on wind-blown coals

Hidden in the heart of the coals lay
a wish she kept secret and in
armor; is evidenced
by a ris-
ing tide of flame, bearing it up

Before the iron is hot and
incinerating
she breathes easier
And they lay her armor down.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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Number 5 is a very cool picture. I like it.
'life tastes sweeter when it's wrapped in poetry'
-the wombats


critiques // nano




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Number 5 is very good.^^

*hugs*
Garrus Vakarian is my homeboy.




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I wrote this on a slip of paper that I accidentally threw away... luckily I was able to remember it xD

#06:

Alone on the black-top,
surrounded by sedans and mini vans,
she steals the breath from his throat;
his mouth pleads eloquently—
One more moment.
Echoes left behind,
they go their separate ways,
blood pulsing in time;
the recycled oxygen remembers
and tastes bittersweet.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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#06 is beautiful.

Ta,
Cal.
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

Got YWS?




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#07:

If had I the splendour of the skies,
Woven pale with glowing threads,
The sun and the morn and the pastel skies
Of life and peace and time of threads,
I would bestow them all on him;
I, being inadequately able, carve but poor substitutes;
But words they are, and mine, now yours;
Silence, now, and then, be soft.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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#08:

Chalky air clouds their lungs, drink
clouds their thinking but on instinct they shuffle the cards
Play the keys like a jazzy love affair to keep the atmosphere
They put the bottle to their head, shell out the change
like a third-rate shell game
he wins every other time, so it comes out even
The wolf comes knocking, a salt breeze they cannot even
hear, through thoughts, like ravens
Each bird drinks away a memory
They play for a sucker, bet poker and slugs


#09:

We are the waiting
I'm star-gazing, clock-watching,
spotting poppies and tulips
Lend me a cigarette?
the wind suffocates me anyway.

Need oxygen of your breath,
standing in the saltine waves, pretending
we're an ocean apart, playing dice games,
not by plains of red and planes of swan down

Meanwhile I'm splintered and smashed,
undecided and under the influence
of a spell you cast, on yourself

In love with love was my adopted lost cause
My scaevity in old experience is matched

only by undeserved perfection


#10:

The oak stood taller that stood straight,
branches weaving and unique, yet smooth
after all the years.
One small bud dared venture to be close,
one fragile tendril climbed to his heart
and covered his branches,
mingles with his leaves.
He reaches out for her sake, for shelter;
wants to be strong, for her,
except because of her.
On they grow together, intertwined;
see her bloom like never before.


#11:

Wrinkled washed-out bird houses droop from
yellowed parchment walls, cling by bare floss threads;
bowed chair-backs by bowed tables bow
unvisited, no family ties, familial history or friends;
atrophied hearts, arthritic feet--slow,
slow decline.

Grimy windows fogged with cataracts, rain-shower
waterfalls rinse the lids, the soul is peppered black.
Exposéd wires, incapable of exposés, dance side to side,
jerky as amateur, caffeinated dancing girls in side-street
cafés, dangle from mouse-holes, with long-
cold droppings.

Skeletal frames lie lopsided, fleshy skin reflections
gnawed away, and bare, bare walls are spied like
carrion to vulture eyes. Lastly silence. Wheels are muffled with
ageless, smoky dust; chalky clock-faces sit long vacant. Only heard
is shuddering, shuddering, hoarse breath. Creaking, sighing, from
time's own lungs.


#12:

Clouds cover fast, grey blanket
A flock of birds seek
Shelter trees need not rain, gold.


#13:

rain abruptly horizontal
green-grey blankets in the air bestow
stinging hail the bolts
of enveloping cannon-fire we
news receive none layer upon
layer upwards go blue through
speeding mist
and wheels
to compensate for the expense of
minute hands seeping liquid into foliage
of marble and silk all the gift from him
to a bride no pristine spring
or spring but
crashing briny waves
and oncoming
summer.
Last edited by Adnamarine on Fri May 08, 2009 10:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah




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I just love number 10. It's so beautiful. I like number 7 and 6 too. ^_^
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.




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I didn't really like 10, so thank you =)
"Half the time the poem writes me." ~Meshugenah



Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill.
— Danish proverb