Broken Hearted Soals

Broken hearted souls, you are welcome here tonight.
C rying infants who were abandoned, come
You who need the love of one another,
Gather under the cedar tree your home.

Bring your broken souls to be mended,
Bring your torn-up hearts to be sewn.
Bring your mangled bodies to be healed,
Bring your tender life-songs to be sung.

Injuries ever lasting are being healed,
The pain of never laughing is being soothed
Heartstrings that were torn are being tugged on,
Hearts as hard as stone are being moved

Bring your broken souls to be mended,
Bring your torn-up hearts to be sewn.
Bring your mangled bodies to be healed,
Bring your tender life-songs to be sung.

Now all your great defenses are lowered,
All your fighting stances are relaxed.
You all begin to love one another,
All the holds on love are being axed.

Bring your broken souls to be mended,
Bring your torn-up hearts to be sewn.
Bring your mangled bodies to be healed,
Bring your tender life-songs to be sung.

The love and peace of all your souls
Is all among you now
No more pain at another’s gain
The lord has shown you how.

Hello!
First-the repetitions-not so much of a good thing here...The repetition "bring, bring, bring..." is(my opinion) quite good, but the whole stanzas??? Your poem belongs under the lyrics section with this as a refrain...
Second-rhyme(which it isn't actually) is forced. So the rhythm isn't quite good.
Third-Ending is qood; simple, understandable, nice, essential.

FLyerS wrote:Broken hearted souls, you are welcome here tonight.
C rying infants who were abandoned, come
You who need the love of one another,
Gather under the cedar tree, your home.

Bring your broken souls to be mended,
Bring your torn-up hearts to be sewn.
Bring your mangled bodies to be healed,
Bring your tender life-songs to be sung.

Injuries ever lasting are being healed, you have already used this. perhaps try something different?The pain of never laughing is being soothed
Heartstrings that were torn are being tugged on,
Hearts as hard as stone are being moved.

Bring your broken souls to be mended,
Bring your torn-up hearts to be sewn.
Bring your mangled bodies to be healed,
Bring your tender life-songs to be sung.

Now all your great defenses are lowered,
All your fighting stances are relaxed.
You all begin to love one another,
All the holds on love are being axed. like this alot!!

Bring your broken souls to be mended,
Bring your torn-up hearts to be sewn.
Bring your mangled bodies to be healed,
Bring your tender life-songs to be sung.

The love and peace of all your souls
Is all among you now
No more pain at another’s gain
The lord has shown you how. like this one too!

ok, this was a very VERY good song.
However, you might have better luck by putting this in the lyrics forum for songs
but I really liked the idea of this. very imaginative, very different. It's a pleasant change from all the emo stuff out there. good job!!

XoXo~AsH

Moved to Lyrics for you. Also suggest you change the word "Soal" in the title to its correct spelling. Cheers