Exchange (1)

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A/N: Some really experimental stuff for me, this story was so hard to write and I think the pacing, now that I've reviewed it on here myself, is a bit lopsided so I'll be working on this even as (hopefully) you comment :p. Oh, and all grammatical errors are probably intentional, so don't bother with those.

**

Hi,

It's possible this might be of interest to you. If you look at the advert on Gumtree I've just 'refreshed' it - it is under 'short term offered'. Although I advertise it under 'short term' I would be happy for you to stay for the whole of your course, if things worked out. I am 46; single male- but have had several students staying, and things worked out really well (if you like the film 'Team America - World Police' it's a bonus!)

Dave

**

From: greg gospel <im-not-holy@hotmail.com>
To: davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk
Sent:Friday, 12 December, 2008 10:35:01
Subject: RE: Your Gumtree Norwich ad #32121620: Looking For A Room

Hey Dave,

That all sounds good to me and I do like Team America, ha. So, I'm definitely interested and thanks for bringing the advert to my attention. I am, of course, still undecided on where I'll be staying and the university is still very much a viable option. You say you've had several students stay with you? Do you have any of their contact details? I would be interested in hearing some feedback from them, if you don't mind.

As an Exchange student, would I qualify for your discount?

Nice to hear from you,
Cheers

**

From: davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk
To: im-not-holy@hotmail.com
Sent: Friday, 12 December, 2008 11:13:03 Mark as Safe| Unsafe
Subject: RE Your Gumtree Norwich ad #32121620; Looking For A Room

Hi Greg

Wow, that's a quick reply.

The e-mail addresses of the two guys are:

Chris_85_wk@gmx.de;
martindubernet@yahoo.fr - Martin is currently in Australia!

I can't say how quickly they'll reply!

Also, there's nothing to stop you moving on if you find something more suitable once you get to the UK. I'd appreciate being able to look at a profile for you, perhaps Facebook or something. You can search for me under 'Dave Magett' on Facebook, and I'll add you. It's usually better to have at least some idea of what someone might be like, who you're gonna live with.

OK, hope that's helpful.

PS - as any sort of student you'd get the Council Tax discount - but it's conditional on you keeping the bathroom clean!
Dave

**

To: Chris_85_wk@gmx.de
From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
Sent: Friday, 12 December, 2008 11: 23: 09
Subject: On Staying With Dave

Hey there,

(hope I've got the right person) I was wondering if you could give me some feedback on where you stayed, in Norwich, England. I'm thinking of renting a room from the same guy (Dave Magett, I think his name is) and I just want to know what you thought of it, whether it was good for you, worth it, etc.

I'd really appreciate it if you responded,

Cheers

**

From: dave magett (davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk)
To: greg gospel im-not-holy@hotmail.com
Sent: Saturday 13, December, 2008 2: 21: 09 AM


Ok mate - looks like we've hooked up on Facebook. You look absolutely fine (only one head, that's the main thing). Whether you like someone who'll keep the bathroom tidy???? Only time would tell.

I've remembered what I was going to tell you as well; the uni is about 2 miles away from my house. I do have an old bike which you are welcome to borrow - it's old but it's ok. There is a bike shed on site.

The post code is 'NR4 6RP', if you'd like to Google-Earth it - you can also get an idea of how far away it is from the uni. What subject would you be studying if you did decide to go to uni?

Also, if it's any encouragement to come to the UK, the value of the £ will be almost free soon, the way it's been falling recently!

Dave

**

From: greg gospel <im-not-holy@hotmail.com>
To: davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Saturday, 13 December, 2008 2:54:25
Subject: RE:

The decision to go to uni has already been made, haha, I'll be studying creative writing and literature. The only decision I've yet to completely make is where I'll be staying, although right now you look to be a solid front-runner.

There is someone else who is interested, by the way, but his price is a bit too high for my liking (understandable really, the place looks really nice) although he has offered concessions if I do a little housework. And of course, there's still the uni to consider.

And I certainly hope it will be! Which is bad for you I know, I'm sorry but the better the exchange rate is, the more I can afford, the happier I'll be XD.

So have you got any pictures?

**

Intellectually promiscuous says: have you found a place to stay yet?
Respectfully uninterested says: yeah, I reckon so
Intellectually promiscuous says: ooer, where is it?
Respectfully uninterested says: apparently it’s a bit of a trek from the uni/city but it sounds awesome
Intellectually promiscuous says: man I still can’t believe you’re doing this! So who’s it with?
Respectfully uninterested says: some dude
Intellectually promiscuous says: …kinky
Respectfully uninterested says: ew, he’s 46.
Intellectually promiscuous says: EW, dude, wtf?
Respectfully uninterested says: Haha, nah its alright, he seems cool. And cheap.
Intellectually promiscuous says: yeah they all do to begin with! He’s going to rape you in your sleep
Respectfully uninterested says: LOL shut up!

**

From: david magett (davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk)
To: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
Sent: Saturday, 13 December 3:45:09 PM
Subject: RE:

Hey there
Yeah, if you look down my facebook page there are a couple of small photo albums, mainly of me on the QE2 and the QM2 - bit of a fan of large ships. Anyhow, it's enough to give you an idea. At some time no doubt I'll load up some others. If you want.

I wasn't sure from your e-mail if you think you'll take the other room that's offered, if you could let me know if you finally decide to go with somewhere else, I'd be grateful. I don't know but I've got a feeling we'd probably get on ok - and that's really my top priority in a flatmate, the money is secondary. Really.


**

From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: david magett (davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk)
Sent: Sunday, 14 December 1: 05: 06
Subject: RE:

I meant pictures of your home, haha, but I did see the pictures (the ship looks really nice! Was it expensive?). I don't think I'll be taking the other room but I'm not ruling anything out. Yeah, I sorta want to live with other students, its true, just for the experience but I've always gotten along well with older people, more so than with people my own age.

Also, although you say its easy to pick up my stuff and leave whenever I please - if I reject the university's initial offer of accommodation, they won't even let me apply a second time, let alone move in. Besides, it would be unfair to you if I came, stayed for a short period of time and then left, when you could have found someone else more committed. You then have to look for another flatmate at short notice, so I am considering the impact my decision has on you.

An economist?! Ick, I've always despised maths...and numbers in general really but I'll try to not hold it against you, haha.

**

From: david magett (davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk)
To: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
Sent: Sunday, 14 December 7:06:40
Subject: RE:

Look, don't worry about 'moving on' when you get here, that's entirely your decision - to be honest, I hadn't planned on having anyone as a flat mate for some time, so it won't inconvenience me if you only need to stay a few weeks - obviously, if it worked out I'd like you to stay - I must say, you seem a really considerate nice guy; well certainly your e-mails give that impression. My impression of blokes is that their e-mails are usually one or two words, or if you're lucky, a whole sentence - and that is usually really abrupt! Must be the creative writer in you - lol.

About the pics of the flat (I'm an idiot!) - haha - did you manage to find the advert for my flat under the 'short term offered' heading on Gumtree - that advert has 3 pics of the flat. It is sort of a 'U' shape, with the living room and kitchen on one side and the bedroom etc on the other. This means that sound-wise it is really good - one person can be listening to music or watching TV, whilst the other goes to bed and is not disturbed at all. If there's anything you particularly want to 'see', I will take a pic with my mobile phone and try and download it.

Dave

**

From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: david magett (davidmagett@yahoo.co.uk)
Sent: Tuesday, 16 December 8: 45: 09
Subject: RE:

Hey Dave,

Just at the airport now! So excited, will see you in a day or so! I hope everything goes well; I think I’d be really nervous right now if Mum wasn’t nervous enough for both of us, haha. I’ll be in the merry old country soon enough :p

Can’t wait.
Cheers

**

From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Thursday, 18 December 9: 45: 10
Subject: I’ve arrived!

Hey, I made it! The flight was horrible! It was so cramped and strange, and I just couldn’t get to sleep. On a 24 hour flight, that’s not good man. Stopped over in Hong Kong for a bit, that was pretty cool. Already had like 17 calls from Mum, haha, she needs to relax something fierce. I met Dave at the airport, he’s a pretty cool guy for an old bloke. Drove me to the flat which is pretty nice too. I know your gonna want heaps of details about him and everything since it would be a tad weird to take pictures of him, lol. He’s tall, uber pale and thin with long, sorta wispy hair. Like a hippy, now that I think about it. Yeah, that sounds about right.

The only downside is that its freezing! So damn cold. On the drive here all the fields were covered with a sprinkling of snow, like a giant had run past, his huge footsteps creating the lulls between hills. A giant with extreme dandruff, haha. But its pretty, at least. Missing you heaps; hope everything’s good!

**

From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Sunday, 21 December 10: 40: 23
Subject: Lol, really?

Hey again,

Sorry its taken me this long to respond! I’m really buggered at the moment, ha. Glad to hear you’re up to your usual shenanigans lol, go easy on that drink! I’ve just been really busy organising all my gear, buying food, utensils and stuff. It’s all really expensive, man, I wish the exchange rate was better. Stupid global economy can go to hell, its fucking raping me at the moment. But yeah, otherwise, it’s all been a bit of a whirlwind at the moment. Classes start in a week, woo! I think once I meet a few more people, it’ll be alright.

Oh yeah, and one more thing, this place is awesome! Completely surrounded by woodland. It’s so cool. Huge, black trees rise up into the sky until you have to squint against the glare of the sun; you can always hear them swaying with the wind, with all the leaves in full voice, singing in the night, accompanied by the chatter and squeak of small animals and odd bugs… It’s magical. I’m already falling in love with this country.

xx

**

‘Hello? Heyy! How are you? Yeah, I’m good thanks, I’m doing really well, but what about you, how’s things? Oh really? Is she still being a bitch then, haha? Well, that’s to be expected. Once a bitch, always a bitch, that’s what I always say. Yeah, I know it’s been a while, I’m sorry. The days seem to blur into one another now, until I can’t tell what day of the week it is, let alone to remember to stay in touch. It’s just uni, I think, its started now – yeah it’s good, I mean, pretty similar to back home really but maybe a little more reliant on the individual. Like, back home, it’s all pretty easy, what you need to do is almost always laid out in neat steps for you to follow, whereas here, you kinda have to do your own thing.

Um, yeah, haha, it is a bit weird living with him and not having everything set out for me but its alright, honestly, sometimes I barely remember he’s even here. No, really, like, occasionally, I’ll see him in his suit, moving around the flat but I never see him leave in the morning, or get back in the evening but who knows, maybe its me that’s moving about at odd times? Maybe for him, it’s normal? Is this costing you much, by the way? No way! Fuck man, sorry, and here I am rambling away haha….Aww, its nice to hear your voice again as well…no, I’m not! Really. I mean it. Thanks for giving me the call, I appreciate it. It’s just what I needed actually, yeah, really good hearing from you, stay in touch? I will, for sure. Okay? Okay, then, see ya. Take care…bye.’

**

From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Wednesday, 24 December 11: 01: 09
Subject: Merry Xmas

Merry Christmas!

Man, its so weird to not be spending this time with you, with the family. It actually snowed here, Christmas here feels real, thick, and homemade. At home, in the shining sun, everything just feels fake and phony; the decorations, the crappy jingles, all of it. I said as much to Dave the other day, finally caught him in the kitchen, washing his hands beneath steaming hot water. His hands were pink, slender. His eyes were closed too, isn’t that weird? We started talking and when he heard me say that, he turned and stared me right in the eyes.

It’s funny but up till then, I’d never seen his eyes straight on. They were an off-grey colour; light blue in some lights. They were gleaming with an odd light, like some of those fish you see on the discovery channel, deep in the ocean, burning a path with luminescent bulbs…He said it was because this was an old place, even as old places are reckoned, going back beyond the time of Christmas as we know to when the winter solstice was celebrated, ritualised with sacrifice…He sort of stopped there and that queer light faded till he looked normal again.

I don’t know what it is, but I like it; something about it appeals to me. It’s like I haven’t been living all these years, merely touching the surface, fart-arsing around with the internet, with cyber reality and it’s only now that I’ve entered the real world. Something with substance. I just wish you were here to experience it with me, I miss you heaps…


**

Continue composing this message
From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Friday, 1 January 12: 11:34
Subject: Staying in touch :p

Hey,

I know you’re probably asleep right now…but that’s the one thing eluding me right now and I sorta have no one else to talk to. That’s a horrible thing to admit, isn’t it? Hope this doesn’t make things awkward or anything – fuck, will you listen to that? As if it can’t, admitting that you’re basically the one person that matters…

I keep hearing weird noises. In the walls at night mostly, it’s like a sorta rushing and scuttling sound. I think maybe its rats or something, but it’s driving me nuts; I think maybe the walls are hollow and so it echoes, seeming to come from everywhere. When I’m lying down, in the dark, it feels like they're running in – through the darkness, over my body, between my legs and the air gets heavy with their weight and warm with their heat until I’m breathing the hairy twilight in deep and I almost always expect to feel them nibbling at my ears. I can’t stop squirming. I can’t sleep and so I keep the light on, you know, to watch for them.

I’m going to call an exterminator… yeah I reckon that’s what I’ll do. Haven’t been able to reach Dave, he’s being his usual elusive self….

**


From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Saturday, 2 January 09: 30: 24
Subject:

Oh man, I hope you didn’t get that email; did I actually send that last night or did I dream it? It’s hard to tell sometimes…If you did, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean…well, I mean…I was in a weird place, okay? Must’ve been drugs, or high on some kind of fumes or something.

Hope this doesn’t make things weird, and you’re alright, but I gotta run to a lecture now,

Talk to ya later.

**


From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Thursday, 14 January 11: 23: 19
Subject: ??

Hey, is everything okay? Haven’t heard from you in a while….

The exterminator didn’t find anything.

Things have been weird lately. Don’t just mean with us, either. Wish you’d just respond. How many times can I say sorry? Can’t stop dreaming. Can’t stop thinkinganddreamingandthinking and I don’t even know if I’m awake anymore. I still go to class but everything’s overcast and shadowed and I wonder if they even see me anymore...

Lights go funny when I’m around. My lamp stopped working yesterday, flicked it on and it just went pop, just like that and it was gone.

I know I can hear things in the wall, but it’s not rats, I don’t think; it’s water, rushing, running, leaping, singing - water! And I put my hands to the walls and the white paint is cold and moist – its weeping. Why’s it crying, M? Why’s it crying?



Why won’t you answer me?

**
Continue composing this message
From: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
To: Michelle Youzhny (intellectuallypromiscuous@hotmail.com)
Sent: Monday, 18 January, 6: 54: 23
Subject: lost

It keeps dragging me down, the dreams, locked into swollen bags beneath my eyes, black and bruised and ready to burst. I don’t like sleeping anymore, don’t wanna go back to that dark place between the trees, in the moist earth; there’s a lake out here, did I ever tell you? It’s so pretty, I liked to watch it when I first got here, the way the sun seemed to melt onto it in a long line of butter; if I had a knife long enough, I’d scoop it up and spread it across some nice white bread.

I like to watch it, to try and catch it when its still. It’s always moving, see, there’s a v beneath the surface, driving it on, sometimes so slow you think it glacial and frozen but its not, it’s never that and don’t you ever think it’s silent, no matter how far away you are, because it’s not, it’s always calling and the trees know; they’re listening, all the time, leaning in, close as they can. They know how important it is.

Sometimes, I think I see someone in the treeline. Watching me. A white shadow, isn’t that funny? Always moving, slipping and twining bout the boles and through the leaves and I never can get a good long look at him. It is a him. I think its Dave, maybe, but I can’t tell anymore. He’s not here though, not anymore, not since the walls started crying, started crying so much no amount of tissues is going to make it stop and it seeps into the carpet; it squishes when I walk on it, a bloated slug that vomits when I press down. It’s cold. Real cold. Like the lake, I’m thinking. Like the lake.

Don’t know if your getting any of this, don’t know if it matters. I need to go down there though, need to hear what it’s saying, what the trees are listening so close to that the leaves chatter so much, it’s what he wants I think. It’s a conversation I want to be a part of, just to have someone to listen to, you know?

**

From: postmaster@hotmail.com
To: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)
Sent: Monday, 18 January 18, 7: 15: 56
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Last edited by Jiggity on Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko




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Hey there Jiggy!

Wow, so this was written well for a first draft. You made it seem like it was beyond horrible but nothing you write is, so I don't think you'll have to do any major editing. I liked how this consisted of emails and the language you used was fine and everything seemed so real. So good job for that. I have no complaints at all but I don't think I ever do.

Hopefully you'll get a more helpful critique,

~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.




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XD.

I always value your input, Angel! (Don't tell the others, but I sorta enjoy it more than the mean ones :p)

I don't think its horrible, and I like the realism of language in it, but just because the writing of it took so long, I think I was misled as to the actual length of the piece; it could stand a bit more I think, and the introductory emails could be cut down a little maybe. Did the dialogue part work well? I meant to ask, but forgot. Hope it flowed well. Yes, it was really difficult to write actually but I'm glad I finished it and thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Cheers
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko




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From: postmaster@hotmail.com

To: greg gospel (im-not-holy@hotmail.com)

Sent: Monday, 18 January 18, 7: 15: 56

1 attachments

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.

Delivery to the following recipients failed.

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Yep... she deleted her email address because she was tired of reading his weird emails. xD

But hey! A quick way to freak him out. He seems to be able to freak himself out... though he really doesn't need any help, lol.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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Before I start, don't expect this review to be especially helpful. xD

Right, anyhow. This was good fun to read, but it feels sort of too much like a descriptive story--would be cool to introduce another character, perhaps. Or than again maybe not. Up to you. But I do agree that the introduction emails should be cut down a lot, since they don't add a lot to the piece and just drag it out; perhaps we can just have reference to those emails (such as with the IMing later on)? It did keep it real, but as with dialogue in any original writing, we don't write how we speak. We cut out al the "erm"s and "arr"s and such. But these are emails, so maybe just shortening them would be best.

It flowed well in my opinion, but we could do with some more story. Distinguish him from other students, perhaps, like maybe have emails sent to someone else at university talking about something weird that they both know about, maybe a robbery? Bad example, but you get the picture, I hope.

Not a lot more to say, but I enjoyed it! And well written.

Best

Blinky
"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction." ~ Oscar Wilde




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Thanks peeps, for the commenting and such. It's been revised a bit, with a title change (gasp!) and more to come. I don't quite know if its worth the effort to be changing this up and making adjustments and such, but I might as well do, since there's more story to this than previously imagined.

Cheers
Mah name is jiggleh. And I like to jiggle.

"Indecision and terror, thy name is novel." - Chiko



“Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
— Dylan Thomas