Hand

And again, I like the sprinkled mystery around the poem. But I just can't erase the thought that I kind of got blurred at the last stanza. There's nothing to it though, I just don't like romantic touches. And unlike the others, I have no offense with your poem. I believe you got a nice grammar, it just doesn't fit the expectations of others. (Then again, I might be missing something... ) It is a freelance poem, right? So I guess rhyme doesn't matter. Oh, and one last thing: Don't let comments bring you down. Instead make them your stepping stone! (I figure I give this kind of comment because I kind of a bit worried with those blows they landed on you...!)

Hello again!

Something to become or to put out of view

Period after view.

Overall, like Bear, I don't have much to say that hasn't been said already, so forgive me if I regurgitate a bit. You have a good idea here, but I think the repetition of my hand holds gets real old real fast; it's a cute sentiment, but you repeat it so much that it gets tiring, if that makes sense.

Consider:
My hand holds a secret.
My hand holds the truth.
My hand holds a lie.

Which is about what you wrote, right? And:

My hand holds a secret
the truth
a lie.

Really, they say the same thing, but the second example is less wordy which imo is a good thing. Just so you know, I'm not suggesting you change it to the second one (though if you want to, feel free). I'm just trying to use it to show how the same thing can be said in a multitude of different ways, so repetition isn't always needed. ^__^

Anyway, hope this helped a bit. You have gotten some wonderful critiques here so I'm sure you'll do fine whether you edit again or not!
Good luck!
-Mars

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This pulls the reader in, I liked it very much! It makes me interested in the rest of the poem. i'm usually not a big fan of poems but this has so much potentially it makes me want to read more.

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Too should be taken it because it stops the flow.

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Between this stanze I think there should be another short four lined stanza because it would complete the pattern of the poem. like you have a four lined stanza then the two lined stanza then you have another four lined stanza followed by these two stanzas which are both only two long lines. Do you understand that?

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I think this stanza would look better this way

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Over All: I think you have talent writing poems. You have a nac for rhythming.
This in perticular one was very general and open to every one. A lot of people could sympathize with this piece of work, and i think that makes a piece of writing good.

Good job and thanks for requesting a review

-Tiffany

I'm not sure if you're trying to make it rhyme but if you are, you defiantly need to change up the above lines, but I think that if you like it like that, then keep it the way it is; you're the author and you should go for what you want to get across, the way you want!

I like how you worded this poem, very mysterious and interesting. I especially like the part (
My hand is a mystery, you see,
Something I never understood very clearly.

But I'll take that chance,
Put your hand in mine,
And I'll love you forever, until the end of time.)

Very sweet!