The Sims and You

Sim 1: ZZzzzzz....

-Alarm goes off-

Sim 1: WTF!? Crap, my alarm. I better go to work. Oh no I have to crap, and I can't go through that doorway into the bathroom because a bookcase is slightly blocking it. OH CRAP!

-pisses on floor-

Sim 1: Oh god, my hands are filthy from pissing! I must wash them!

-Sim 1 glances at clock-

Sim 1: 7:59am? I've got plenty of time! Nothing can stop me from washing my stinkin' hands, and I'm still in my pajamas. I'm also about to die of hunger because I wanted to play goddamn basketball all of yesterday, which is my only day off for the whole week!

-crappy carpool pulls up at driveway, stays for three seconds, and quickly speeds off-

Sim 1: Oh well. I'll be fired from my job which I have worked for about five months, without a single promotion, because I couldn't make any friends due to the fact my
house's front yard is uneven, and I can't build any pathways or even the ground out because I have no money, due to the fact I spent it all to make myself happy with an art easel that he barely ever uses. I'm hungry!

-Sim 1 screams and has fit-

Sim 1: Here is my wife, Bella, strolling around the house reading books and poking at the dead fish in the aquarium that we forgot to feed.

Bella: Sims ajhda dasdhasd hgas hdgas hdg!

-Bella points at her stomach-

Sim 1: Oh god, she's hungry again. And I keep telling you, Bella, stop talking in incoherent mumblings! Use your thought-bubbles and speech-bubbles!!

Bella: -creates thought bubble thinking of a cross over Sim 1-

Sim 1: Much better. Anyway, I hear the Repo Man clearing out our house due to unpaid bills! Better rescue our darling daughter from the attic!

Bella: -creates speech bubble picturing a girl with a cross over her-

Sim 1: Oh, right. She's at Military School because we forgot to set her alarm to wake up at the right time... whoops!

-Repo Man claims piano, fridge, TV, bookcase, dead fish, table, five chairs, couch, wardrobe, double bed, single bed, and then the art easel-

Sim 1: Awww! My art easel that I never use!

Bella: -creates speech bubble with tombstone on it-

Sim 1: What are you talking ab-oh crap.

-Bella keels over onto the floor and the Grim Reaper comes in-

Sim 1: Oh my god! My darling Bella! Please, Grim Reaper sir, please bring her back!

-Grim Reaper motions for Paper Scissors Rock-

Sim 1: Alright.

-Sim 1 loses-

Sim 1: SHIT.

-Grim Reaper goes away, and the body of Bella turns into an ornament-

Sim 1: NOOOOO! BELLA WHYY!?!
-cries for eight hours at tombstone-
Oh damn I'm getting hungry. Nevermind, I'm dirty again, somehow. I better go brush my teeth, which is stupid because
I am completely filthy and need a bath, or shower. Ok, my teeth are clean, now since I'm at a mirror, I need to practice my charisma until I pass out...

-hears improvement music in backround after six hours-

Sim 1: YES! I did i..i...t... -passes out-

-Sim 1 falls asleep and wakes up again. Sim 1 calls for pizza-

Sim 1: GSG SDAHGD AJSDG hsgahgdajs hgdkjaH GJHGSAjhg fiASHDAG.

Pizza Service: SHJGDA SKJGD7Y WG $40 DGAG SAHDASDF VSADVGFAGF.

Sim 1: sad sahd.

-Sim 1 hangs up-

Sim 1: I'm still tired. The pizza service will take an hour, I might as well go to bed, and wake up at half past. Even with 30 minutes, I will not make it anyway because it takes me an hour to travel downstairs and take the longest and most drawn out route availible to the front door to grab a pizza which won't appetise me fully at all.

-Sim 1 feels funny-

Sim 1: Erm... I feel... dizzy... -dies-

You: OMFG! FINALLY! I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER DIE! OMFG I HATE THIS GAME!

-You smash computer-

I m a little confuse. Is this your first chapter? are you going to add more? If you were not planning to, I think that you should. Your story sound like a TV show which make it interesting.

We will be housing 6 different people in one house for 31 days.

i like that it got my attention right away.

Meet

i think that it a little dry.



You should put more space between people because it get confusing and distract the reader.
Also you need to work on your punctuation. I like your piece and I will be happy to read more of this story.

good job

This was a bit confusing and unclear like frenchyrude said. I suggest clarifying some. it's a good idea too. I'd like to see a bit more about each character, it's kind of interesting. I look forward to reading more of it.

I think when you type this up, age should be entered so it's

Name: -insert name here-
Age: -insert age here-

And the description here.

But be careful of plagerism though, there's a lot of reality shows these days.

I feel the same way. That game is so annoying. It gets on my nerves. My brother is obsessed but I resorted to finding different more creative ways of deforming the sims and killing them off. He got mad... But anyway, the game is really tedious. It was fun for, like, 10 min. but it got really repetitive after awhile. Okay. Done with my angry rant.

Peace, Love, and Sugar Packets~
Forever Threnody

LOL. Well done.
Frenchyrude and powerofthree, you understand completely if you've played the sims. If not, well...
Brilliant.
I like locking them in a room with nothing but an expresso machine. I also tried electrocuting them. Sending them outside then deleting all the doors....
Ah. Good fun.
But anyway, this made me laugh. Hehe.

I liked it I know what you mean. I'll try to play this game and my person always catches on fire so I never get past the first day, before having to start over. And then when the Sim dies the grim reaper takes so long just to go and kill your Sim. Not to mention when you get rob and you call the cops they never get there in time and so you get a ticket for prank calling!

Wow that felt good, I think most people get this way after playing the Sims for awhile. Because even if you have a good family and no body dies, they still have to be so dramatic.

Thanks I needed that laugh.

You automatically get a gold star.
Dude, this is exactly how I feel when I play. Especially the part where it takes them a flippin' HOUR to walk through their house...and they always take the longest route possible.
Anyways, this was hilarious. Anyone who's played The Sims will definitely find and enjoy the humor in this.


*anti-pop

This is incredible realistic! I like playing the Sims even if my favorite part is to construct the house, but i still like it. but it's way too frustrating! An hour to walk across the house?!
Well, this was pretty good!

Hey there!

Wow, this was really funny! I like playing the game but it sucks that they don't speak English or any real languages for that matter and then they die so easily. I enjoyed this and yeah, people do have to have knowledge of the game to understand this.

Good job and keep writing!

Ta,

~Angel

*presses gold star*

Sim 1: Oh well. I'll be fired from my job which I have worked for about five months, without a single promotion, because I couldn't make any friends due to the fact my

house's front yard is uneven, and I can't build any pathways or even the ground out because I have no money, due to the fact I spent it all to make myself happy with an art easel that he barely ever uses. I'm hungry!

first of all this sentence is very long... try to break it up a bit. I think that you put "HE" in instead of "I", where I indicated in bold.

other than that, I really enjoyed it, *gold star* keep going with this, or maybe make it a reality TV show! That would be hilarious! I really like that way that you put it as long and blatent. Nice writing style, and I too have been annoyed by the Sims, so good work on topic choice!

Lol, I loved this!!
I must say, I am quite addicted to Sims, and it's very unhealthy;
I'll be sitting in front of the TV for, like, HOURS, yelling "OH MY FREAKING GOD!! NO!! I DIDN'T SAY DO THAT!! PICK UP THE FOOD!!! YOU'RE TOO TIRED??! AH, SEE YOU DIED! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!!"
**walks away**

Haha, this is definitely Sims in a nutshell.
[[And I still love it...]]
=]
<33GiGi

Thank You for actually reading my stuff! I really apreciate all your comments and reviews! I didnt think anyone would really look at this!

ha ha. I play Sims all the time and I totally relate. I get so mad when they take so long to do every little chore. Just for the laugh *gold star*

This is...beautiful.
It seriously brings tears to my eyes.
Okay, maybe not seriously, but you so get a gold star for this!

hahahaaaa
I loved reading this.. it was hilarious! This is exactly how I feel wen I play! It can be so frustrating...taking an hour to walk to the front door, not being able to go through a door because a tiny bit of it is covered... Things like that really bug me! E
Great job A+!