A love

A love found
A love lost
In one day,
a single soul died.
Just to have another awoken.
The one she needs,
the one that killed
As the sun shines each day
she is binded to that she was

Hello! First of all, welcome to YWS! I noticed that this had no comments on it. Sad? I thought so! So I'm critiquing it. If you have any questions about my critique or even just getting around the site, bug me and I'll do my best to help.

Now, to your poem!

I thought the idea of this poem was intriguing and I loved how full of conflict it was. I mean, you have love, death, blindness, possibly misunderstanding, and awakening. Very awesome! These are some really sophisticated topics that you're dealing with, and it's good to see those topics being explored by such a talented writer.

The main thing is that since it is so sparse, it's a little difficult to figure out what happened. I like sparseness, but when it becomes confusing, that's a different matter. So, basically I have a couple of questions from it!

A love found

A love lost <-- Same person?

In one day,

a single soul died. <--- Whose soul?

Just to have another awoken. <--- Whose soul?

The one she needs,

the one that killed <--- Is the one she needs also the one that kills? It's kind of confusing as it is right now.

As the sun shines each day <--- You were referring to only one day at first, and now you're referring to a multitude of days? Why?

she is binded to that she was <--- I like this ending.

So right now this poem is very sparse and you can totally add on to it and make it fuller by answering those questions within the poem. By doing this, you'll help us understand what's happening and make this poem deeper.

Anyway, lovely poem and I hope to see you around on YWS!

I love this theme. (I have been saying that a lot lately)

It's great!
I am in total agreement to the comment above me.

This seems to be a little confusing, I like it, but that's all.

Not that many errors, just the confusion.

I thought that this poem had a lot of depth, telling about the pain one suffers when they put there heart on their sleeve. It was beautiful in a sad way. Wondering emotion.