describing disgusting things

ok, I am trying really hard to write a horror story, or more of a fanfic of Silent Hill. I need help with describing a disturbing atmosphere. Like how the creatures look, the environment and how the characters feel towards this. YOu can give advice, examples and anything else that could possibly help.

I'll post something here and you can help me make it more disturbing and such. ^_^

The cement was cold against my soft warm cheek. Slowly I opened my eyes. I was in a dark room, though some light poured in through a window. I was sitting in a kitchen. It was a small kitchen, but it was mostly empty. Only the cabinets, an oven and the fridge remained. I stood up to take a close look at them. “Wow.” I whispered.
The cabinets were all burned and the oven and fridge were rusty and old. The air in the room was stuffy and old. Rubbing my head I looked at the ground. “How did I get here?”
It finally hit me. I began to shake, and my heart beated faster. I was too afraid to speak. I was alone, in an unfamiliar place; a place that I had no memory of ever being in. I felt somewhat dizzy, so I tried to find a way out of this place. There was a strange gurgling noise behind me. Slowly I looked over to see a strange creature. It had a mold green tint to its skin, which was covered in a puke mold. The smell made my stomach turn, reminding me of rotting human flesh. The creature stumbled towards me. Its limbs were nothing more than just stubs with barbed wire sewed into them. Every step it made, a disgusting brown blood from its stubby legs created new pools across the floor.
My heart was about to erupt from my chest it was just beating way too fast. The monster walked closer to me, and I stepped back away from it.

I hope I didn't do too bad of a job. Please help me

Oooh looking great! I absolutely LOVE scary stories (expecially telling them) so hopefully my advice is good :)


One of the biggest things about scary stories is, of course, scaring your audience. Pick your topic from things that many people are afraid of (especially yourself! If you can keep yourself up at night shivering, your job is done xD). Some of my most popular scary stories involved: something that should be safe, but isn't (like a killer toy or best friend that turns into a murderer), being trapped someplace small, bugs, or the most universal fear - clowns.

There are only two types of people in this world. People who are afraid of clowns, and clowns.

The topic is a bit over used however, so you have to be careful not to be too cliche.

BAM language is a must as well. Scary stories are very difficult to create creepy, unlike movies or audio, where you have sound and sight to help you along. With literature scary stories, you have to work twice as hard.

It had a mold green tint to its skin, which was covered in a puke mold.

Try not to get too repetitive. Perhaps you could say something like "Tendrils of mold fed on it's moist flesh, as if vomit had been smeared across it's limbs. It's skin seemed stretched, a sickening shade of green that made me want to turn away."


Mush in as much sickening words as you can! Squish, wither, ooze, devour, peeling, swelling, ext. With scary literature, adjectives are your friend 8D!


I hope the above helped at least a little bit! Let me know if you want anymore help. :)

Cool! I love those words ^_^ So disgusting, it makes me feel alittle bit sick
But that's good Thanks for your help ^_^

You know when you're really scared, and your chest gets tight and you can't breathe and you get this agonizing pressure in your skull while your throat constricts too much for you to scream? Think about that feeling really hard, and think about things that give you that feeling. Now write about them. Write about how they look, how they smell, how they sound, (if you're going to taste them describe the taste, same with touch), the emotions they make you feel. Be nitty-gritty, use strong words and try and keep that tight feeling in your chest, you'll do fine. And, well, if you don't, that's what second drafts are for.

Good luck!

Well... it's two o'clock in the morning, so anything I write will suck. Still, this is how I would approach your description:

The cement was cold. It bit my through my cheeks and left me breathless. It seemed impossible to be so cold and yet in so much pain. A memory drifted in of icepacks and relief, but it seemed so long ago, too long ago to be real.

I moaned and tried to sit up. At first, the world spun around me and then I found myself in a world of gray. I was in an abandoned kitchen, outfitted with only the essentials: cabinets, an oven, and a refrigerator. Nothing worked, of course. The cabinets were all burnt, the oven and refrigerator were rusted through, and though the refrigerator made a slight humming noise, it was mostly out of habit.

“Wow.”

My voice surprised me. It echoed around the room until it got lost in the hum of the refrigerator. Nobody was here. I was alone. But in my ears, I still heard my voice. It sounded panicked. I breathed in and tried again. “Where am I?”

This time, my voice didn’t echo. The refrigerator still hummed though. I glanced at the door, then stood up slowly. My legs were still weak, but at least I could stand up. The door would be locked, I knew that. I knew it without even knowing why. But I had to learn more about the refrigerator. Slowly, I opened the refrigerator. Then I gasped.

There were arms. There were human arms, dog forearms, bird wings, and every other arm imaginable. They weren’t kept cold, the refrigerator hadn’t worked for a very long time. But the arms were old and the bits of flesh that still remained attached to the skeletons were dried and flaky. Self-consciously, I looked at my own arm. And I wondered exactly why I was here. A surge of panic rushed through me and suddenly it became important to run out as quickly as I could. I turned to the door.

It opened.

The first thing I noticed was the smell. It smelled like rotting flesh and it made my stomach turn and my knees grow weak. And then there was the creature. It had no arms. Instead, it just had little stubs for its molding arms, sewn with barbed wire. It lurched towards me, every movement oozing blood. It stared at me with wide green eyes and, even though it didn’t have a mouth, it smiled.

I screamed.

NICE! I really liked that. It made me scared, then again I am in my dark room all alone I have re-written this thing using all of everyone's advice here it is!

The cement was cold against my soft warm cheek. Slowly I opened my eyes. I was in a dark room, though some light poured in through a window. I was sitting in a kitchen. It was a small kitchen, but it was mostly empty. Only the cabinets, an oven and the fridge remained. I stood up to take a close look at them. “Wow.” I whispered.
The cabinets were all burned and the oven and fridge were rusty and aged. The air in the room was stuffy and old. Rubbing my head I looked at the ground. “How did I get here?”
It finally hit me. I began to shake, and my heart beated faster. I was too afraid to speak. I was alone, in an unfamiliar place; a place that I had no memory of ever being in. I felt somewhat dizzy, so I tried to find a way out of this position I had gotten into. There was a strange gurgling noise behind me. Slowly I looked over to see a strange creature. It had a moist look to its moldy green skin, making its flesh look stretched and peeled. Seeming like vomit was smeared all over its body. The smell made my stomach turn, reminding me of a rotting human corpse. The creature stumbled towards me. Its limbs were nothing more than just stubs with barbed wire stitched into them. Every step it made, disgusting brown blood from its stubby legs created new pools across the floor.
My heart was about to erupt from my chest it was just pounding way too fast. The monster staggered closer to me, and I stepped back away from it. The barbed wire poking out of its stubby legs slithered towards me. I didn’t notice till they had wrapped around my legs, and made me fall. I screamed from the pain of the barbed wire digging into my legs, as it hauled me closer to it. I struggled, and grabbed onto a pipe sticking out of the floor. “S-some one help me.” I whimpered.
My head felt light and my body woozy. My vision began to darken, and my grip on the pipe weakened.

I hope its better than my first! ^_^

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ewww! I think it's fair to say mission accomplished on the gross-out factor, and I'm not that easily grossed out (I love dissections <3).

I don't know if you want to say things like "soft, warm cheek" though, because that gets people thinking about things that, well... aren't scary? So it defeats the purpose a little bit. Also, pay a little more attention to the way you phrase things to sound scary rather than just describing something scary accurately.

One way to make things scary is to have a lot of build-up preceding the action to create a stronger sense of suspence. It's like classical music; starts soft, goes soft a bit, then it starts to get tense and BAM! Full orchestra blast! ... and then everything goes quiet again. Maybe you should try listening to Beethoven while writing horror (I might try it too hehe). There was a little bit of buildup here, but I'd say it should be at least 3/4 buildup and 1/4 scare, so the first two paragraphs could do with some expanding. Not bad though, for an early try at horror. And Silent Hill is A-MAZING!

I have to say, though, the smell details really had my stomach turning like a washing machine. Uuuuugggghhhh....

... good job...
-________*

You're writing a Silent Hill fanfic?! I love Silent Hill.

There are probably more than two, but I'm going to say there are two kinds of horror: Gory, and psychological. I think Silent Hill is more of a psychological horror. Why? The atmosphere. Think about playing the game, and watching the movie, and I'll mention the things that make me deeply unsettled and scared:

SOUNDS - Soundtrack aside, Silent Hill is full of creepy, creepy noises. Random bangs, slithering noises, growls. It absolutely bugs me out. They come out of nowhere, and we can't see their source. Which brings me to the next one.

SIGHTLESSNESS - Okay, not "blind", but there's a lot you can't see in Silent Hill. There's fog in every game, and darkness, and locked doors. Being unable to see what lies ahead and what's coming at you is terrifying. There's a great sense of the unknown, and this is very unsettling for the person taking part in the experience.

SUDDENNESS - And then, with all those creepy sounds, and that unknown threat in the distance, we feel guarded but - we can't see anything, we can keep walking, we're fine, and then - BAM! Out of nowhere something horrifying will pop out.

These three things (there's probably more than three, but it's really late here and I'm tired) are all huge elements in Silent Hill that scare me to death! And if you're writing a Silent Hill fanfic, you should have all these. But notice that none of these things involve gore. They're things that freak you out psychologically. Yes, there is gore and Silent Hill, and it's necessary here and there, but to scare people, remember you don't have to be dependent on it!

Oooh. I'm all creeped out now thinking about that game. Time to go to bed...

~ Clo

Clo I agree with you. Silent Hill is just a truly horrifying game. I have played 4 and 5. I loved them both. I love the music of silent hill Akira is just amazing!