Frozen lakes and sugar cakes

lol thanks

Very nice, and funny. I loved it! Didn't understand the "green ketchup" but oh well. Again good job, loved it, and yea..that's about it.. Bye!
~M

Aww, this poem is so cute! It is byfar one of the 'happiest' poems I've seen so far.

I couldn't see anything wrong with it, besides the lack of punctuation.
Other than that, you did perfect. I'm not a professional or anything,
so there were probably a few things I didn't catch.

it's reallly cute and all but i didn't really like it...
don't take it persinaly but it seems to me that you just have taken words and made them rhyme :S

emmm...i don't know, it could be better, in my opinion.

shabat shalom have a nice weekend

a refreshingly cheerful poem. however, i agree with 'beyond the mask'... it just seemed like a lot of rhyming words. not a lot of purpose behind it. don't let me discourage you though... keep on writing.
-zalarus

I LOVE THIS ONE! it is sooooooo sweet. It captures the childhood things and pairs them with things from adulthood. It flows and rhymes perfectly. A job well done. Keep up the good work! And as always, keep writing!