Echoes

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A wonderful corner for echoes, indeed, the reverberations of the centuries upon the current, old mixing with the young, and the current conflicting with the distant; thus was the corner where the outside met the in, and where hopes were crushed, or allowed to fly free in the wind. For a score of years and four, when two and one came to call this place home, amidst the wilderness of prairie and grass and red-tailed foxes, among the locals, and ones soon to be, where those of old welcomed the new, before the time of modernization, before houses conflicted with the view, and flood plain was a common term and occurrence.

Footsteps echo, ever softly, down the hall, one eight years later, the other two after that; pitter patter, little songs, many surprises, laughter, and tears.

Mourning came, went, and came again, only to leave and return again anew, a new experience to some, an old grievance for the others.

Many years transpired, and the arguments become louder, the threats more serious, and the quiet life succumbed to a ruckus state. Higher and more shrill they came, the footsteps growing more frequent and more sadistic as the days wore on, until they reached the paramount of the evil nature of themselves, and the downfall was swift, and hard, but only to give rise to the tumult again, and thus repeat the vicious cycle end upon end, till judgment day came and went, and still it endured, and so it shall, until the inhabitants learn what they need to (of that of which they know; but do not, or can not, acknowledge).

And so, throughout the days, the times of peace and the times of distress, the house wore on, among the cats, and the wild red-tailed foxes; and then the builders came, adding more racket to the place, and the rhythm disrupted, and this was when the disorder began, and thus one was ready to move on, the other to clinging tightly to his roots, and so the family came to a head, so to speak, and is in its present state of pandemonium.
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
(Sadistic Perplexion of Everyone's Wits)

Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia




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Wow.

Can I say METAPHORICAL, people? And puzzling.

Absolutely lovely, Mesh. I'm a sucker for anyone who uses the word 'score' in a number sense...Don't know why.

"For a score of years and four, when two and one came to call this place home, amidst the wilderness of prairie and grass and red-tailed foxes, among the locals, and ones soon to be, where those of old welcomed the new, before the time of modernization, before houses conflicted with the view, and flood plain was a common term and occurrence."

O_o ehm...well, I won't be able to think straight for a couple of days, but that was pretty much BRILLIANT.

This doesn't seem finished to me, though. Maybe it's a prologue? You didn't preface it though, so I have no idea. TELL ME, MESH!
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




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Got a lot of fancy language and creative sentence structure that was probably there to create tone and atmosphere. But in the end, I got so lost in the words, I had no idea what you were talking about.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"




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I have to agree with Reicheru. There was so much imagery and fancy wording crammed into a very short piece. I think it would be much easier to read if you either spread it out a little, or simplified some of it.
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
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Sam, this was actually an english assignment this year. We were reading Tale of Two Cities (Dickens) and we had to write something imitating the style and tone. That's where the wordy-ness comes in, Dusky and Rei (and yes, it is rather confusing.. especially without a preface on my part).
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
(Sadistic Perplexion of Everyone's Wits)

Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia




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Okay. Thanks for the explanation.
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Boo. SPEW is watching.




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I thought the language was beautiful. It flowed really smoothly, and it created a nice vision of what time creates. Anyway, it was a really cool piece of work.




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Wow a really good piece

The good
Your use of language, it's figurative and beautiful, that was my favorite part of this piece.
Texture: I read this piece 4 times and every time i do i discover a different element, there are many diffrent undertones and feelings, It keeps me coming back for more
Structure: was perfect, It was set out perfectly, not a word or line out of place

The bad:
My main problem is that this does not feel like fiction, Although it is shaped like one, the language is so metiforical and figuritivee it feelss lioke a poem.. You sound like a very good poet.
Also the plot, the story is not very clear to me. And It is not really a story because A story must have a beging middle and end. I cant really see that here. I did this once and it nearly ruined the peice. I'm glad it did not ruin yours
Beside some things this is a great piece. I love it. It's beautiful
Keep writing like you mean it.

Vera
Who is John Galt?




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Eek, this was written more than four years ago!

*Locked*
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D



If I seem to wander, if I seem to stray, remember that true stories seldom take the straightest way.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind