Bad Pickup Lines

I found these somewhere, they were so horrid they made me laugh. Feel free to add your own...


If I told you that you have a a gorgeous figure would you hold it against me?

I'm sure glad I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out!

I heard milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much you been drinking?

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you!

Can I have a picture? ......So I can show Santa EXACTLY what I want for Christmas.

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I drive by again?

Do you have a band-aid cuz I scraped my knee when I fell for you...

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fell in love.

Do you like strawberries or blueberries better? I just want to know what to put in your pancakes tomorrow morning...

Do you mind if I invade your personal space?

Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."

Here I am! Now what were your other two wishes?

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'u' and 'i' closer together.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?


How horrible are those...LOL... *gags*

Lmao

*ahem* Some of those would actually work on me LOL.

Two that I really like (hey, I was bored and looking up pickup lines) are:

I had a really bad day, and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

and..

If I could be anything, I'd be a tear: that way I'd be born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die on your lips.

Seriously.. If any guy said those to me.. *laughs* I'd probably marry him right then and there, if he asked me!

I'm such a sucker for these things.

Those pants are awesome! They'd look even better on my bedroom floor.

If I said you look hot, would you take off your clothes?

Is that a mirror in your pants, 'cause I can SO see myself in them!

And the piece de resistance:

Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?

these have all been used on me or my friends...

do you work at subway? 'cause you're giving me a footlong!

was it raining when you were born? (she says "dunno, why?") 'cause heaven must have been crying when it lost its favourite angel.

my magical watch says you're not wearing any panties....oh, you are?....it must be an hour fast!

mind if i stand here? i farted over there. <----- is that the WORST one you've ever heard????

is your name gilette? 'cause you look like the best a man can get!

lets go back to my place and do the things i'll tell everyone we did anyway. (this actually sorta worked on my friend, it made her laugh so hard that her and the guy talked all night long and ended up together....!)

what does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

is your dad a thief? 'cause somebody must have stolen the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

i'm not usually this tall - i'm just sitting on my wallet.

*writes down* This is better than anything I can come up with
Actually I've never used a pickup line... if I did, i'd probably get slapped.

Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."

Least the guy was nice enough to buy a rose...

ALL FROM BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD

Uh, hey baby.

Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."

You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.

Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.

Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.

What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..

Would you like carry my books for me?.

If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?.

I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..

My lips are registered weapons.

I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?

If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..

If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..

If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine..

If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..

Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..

Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.

You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..

Hey, baby, do you want me to take off my shorts?

I have found this line does not work well:

Oh, and by the way, has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Garfield only run over and then skinned and then someone threw an ugly Ferragamo sweater over you before rushing you to the vet?

Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."

I think that's romantic...obviously evidence as to why I'm single

Hey - you have the whole world on your chest.
... ouch.

You have nice chicken legs baby, let me get a pice of that thigh.

Do you like golf? I have some balls you can play with.

Oh dear, there seems to be a spot on my pants, could you wipe it off for me?

Oh dear, there seems to be a spot on my pants, could you lick it off for me?

Do you like chocolate? Because I have a whole batch of dark chocolate love for ya.

would you like some making fuck, berserker?

dreaming_mouse wrote:

Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."

I think that's romantic...obviously evidence as to why I'm single

I think so too. That's really really sweet.

::picks up 500 roses and anticipates Monday::

I got cable.

That's a bad one.