Little Raven Black

Little Raven Black,
how can I love thee? How can I not force myself to hate?
You vile, unwanted dark beast of the air,
I can see behind the dark greased feathers that people loathe so.
I can see the intelligence and grace in your brown shining eyes.

I can see your companions convince you to hurt the innocents,
become the conceited animal you aren't

I wish you were mine, Little Raven Black,
as people yell and mumble curses at you,
as you spread your wings and take to the skys,
I sigh with longing for you,
trying fruitlessly to accept that it will never be.

Despite your shadowed evil,
I saw the best of you,
I thought.

Obviously I thought wrong, Little Raven Black,
maybe you are what you seem.
Between the smoke and grime,
maybe you are the evil others thought of you.

Even though this maybe true,
I can't convince myself, Little Raven Black.
I'll never let go of you, if I can possibly catch up.

But slowly I'll forget.
Slowly,
I'll quit dreaming.
Slowly the pain will ease.
Slowly,
I'll be free again
Slowly,
ever so slowly,
I'll be free again.
Free, just like you, Little Raven Black.

Hi Pinata! My corrections are in bold because the colors hate me.

Little Raven Black,
How can I love thee? How can I not force myself to hate?
You vile, unwanted dark beast of the air,
I can see behind the dark greased feathers that people loathe so.
I can see the intelligence and grace in your brown shining eyes.

I can see your companions convince you to hurt the innocents,
become the conceited animal you aren't.

I wish you were mine, Little Raven Black,
as people yell. and mumble curses at you,<-- take away the period
as you spread your wings and take to the skys.<-- skies, not skys
I sigh with longing for you,
trying fruitlessly to accept that it will never be.

Despite your shadowed evil,
I saw the best of you,
I thought.

Obviously I thought wrong, Little Raven Black,
maybe you are what you seem.
Between the smoke and grime,
maybe you are the evil other thought of you.

Even though this maybe true,
I can't convince myself, Little Raven Black.
I'll never let go of you, if I can possibly catch up.<-- I don't think you need the comma

But slowly I'll forget.
Slowly,
I'll quit dreaming.
Slowly the pain will ease.
Slowly,
I'll be free again.
Slowly,
ever so slowly,
I'll be free again.
Free, just like you, Little Raven Black.

Other than those grammer errors it was really good! I think it flowed well, why haven't you posted a poem before? Hmm... maybe you have and I didn't see it? I just love poems with ravens in it. Like Edger Allen Poe's poem, The Raven.

If you post anymore poems PM me!

- kittykat

Here I thought this would be a tribute to Poe's Raven, but I guess I was wrong. Little black raven, while cute, you make the bird seem actually rather nice. You handled the way in which it was viewed, but your concept of its freedom was a little more disturbing then I initially bought for. A harbinger of death and evil being cutely fancied and idolized over more graceful and beautiful birds like a cardinal or blue jay. Nevertheless it was interesting to read.

Thankyou for the critique! It has been very helpful and I've edited the poem as you pointed out my grammar and capitalization issues.

I'm not so hot in the poetry department, but I liked this. The only thing I really noticed is the second from the last time you said "Little Raven Black" it broke up the flow a bit. But maybe it was supposed to sense you used a period afterwards? Hmm...

Also, in the title you said "Ravan" I don't know if you did that on purpose...but...

Shame POSSESSES ME! I MISSPELLED the TITLE! DX *edits it*

And yeah. That time with the "Little Raven Black" was on purpose.

It really is quite good.
I think there's a deeper meaning to this and it showed.

I can't say anything bad about it. It's better then a couple of poems I read.
Why? Because it had such a deep meaning.

It showed that the narrator is like the raven.
Cursed at, unloved, commited to due bad things.
But there is a better side to anything.

I give this a 5/5.

Wow. Thankyou!

Oh! I haven't read this before now! I really liked it! I don't really see any errors that haven't already been mentioned...
Well, there's that part in the end...
"Slowly the pain will ease."
It almost seems like slowly should be it's own line because of how you have it before. I dunno if that's right or not, though...Oh well! I still like it alot!