Short prologue...

Prologue

Stumbling through the pitch blackness, the man tried to haul himself away from his attacker and towards the safety of his villa. Begging in desperation, he threw his crimson-coated hands at the assailant’s body, only to crumple to the ground as he felt the cold, sharp metal thrust through him like an arrow aimed perfectly at its destination.

His eyes wide with terror, he sank slowly and softly to the ground. He tried to reach for the silhouetted figure at the far end of the street, in the vain hope that someone might save him. Yet no-one answered his call, as his life ebbed away.

'pitch blackness' <This sounds odd to me. I don't know why. I think it's 'pitch darkness' or 'pitch black'.

villa or village?

Yet no-one answered his call, as his life ebbed away.

"Yet no-one answered his call as his life ebbed away" <no comma

Yay! Starting wit a chase scene. ^_^ Always a good hook (and I do love hooks). This looks good. it's short, so there's no way of giving you a very in depth critique, but it looks good.

^_^ Keek!

I say exactly what Sleeping Valor said.

GREAT JOB!

ST

This needs some edititing but don't feel like it right now so I will just tell you what is wrong with it. One is why is it just called Prologue.

I think you should put as a good title is Prologue of......... what ever you want.

"Yet no-one answered his call, as his life ebbed away."

What does the word EBBED mean?

Well thats all I hav e to say than it need some work but good job.

Gothgirl01

First of all, if this is set in ancient Rome I woould put it in Historical Fiction instead of Other Fiction.

pitch blackness

You need to change this. Pitch darkness would work, but I don't think you should include pitch in there at all. It sounds better without it.

he threw his crimson-coated hands at the assailant's body

This makes it sound as if he's detactched his hands and thrown them at the attacker. What about:

he threw himself at the assailants body, his crimson-coated hands struggling to get a grip around his neck.

Yet

I would change this to But

ebbed

I don't think this word works very well. Perhaps bleed, if you want it to be decriptive, of drifted, if not.

I did like this. You brought in the action right away, and it made me want to read it.

Tell me when you post more!