Words

Some say math is the basis of life.
But no,
I say it's words.
Numbers tell you which goes where,
and how to run things.
But, oh…not words.

Words convey emotions,
in ways numbers do not dare.
Can numbers break a person’s heart?
Can numbers lie?
Numbers tell us how things work,
words tell us why.

Words can drive a person mad,
Then over to happy and sad.
You cannot live well without words,
but numbers you can do without quite well.

Numbers are just numbers,
so less complex than words.
Words are letters arranged a certain way,
the letters show depth that only words can convey.

Hey, Alice. ^^

Some say math is the basis of life. [comma instead]
But no,
I say it's words.
Numbers tell you which goes where,
and how to run things. [comma instead]
But, oh…not words.

Words convey emotions, [no comma]
in ways numbers do not dare.

Numbers tell us how things work, [semi or double dash (--)
words tell us why.

Words can drive a person mad,
Then [s]over[/s] from to happy and sad.

Words are letters arranged a certain way, [double dash]
the letters show depth that only words can convey.

Very good. ^^ A couple lines I thought could have been improved, but I can't exactly say since I'm not a poet. The message is very good. Some lines I was deeply impressed with, like the last couplet. I loved those.

Kudos! Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

O gosh- I loved this one. Absolutely loved it. I'm terrible at reviewing poetry, so I hope you have all your comma mistakes and such fixed or edited.
I just want to be the one that gets knocked over her chair, saying that she's never saw a poem like that.

This so true. I loved it. I'm no good at math and I love the power of words.

I'm not a poetry critic, but I think that the poem was great the way it was. The only thing that I would change would be the 'over' to 'from' that JabberHut pointed out. I'm not sure about her comments on the punctuation, but its your poem, so do what you think is best.

This was so beautiful. Would you mind if I printed this out and put it above my desk? I'll keep your name on it and everything. PM me please.

wow, that was really, really, really, really good. that has to be the best poem i've read in a long time--maybe ever. (i don't read much poetry.) the first section wasn't as rhythmical as the others, but especially the last section, and the first part of the second section were really good. basically, do the last two things jabber told you to do (over to from, and the double dash part), and it would be very good. it was a great poem, so no more edits

This was pretty good. I liked the message, but I think (and no, I'm nowhere near an expert in poetry) that some of the rhythm was a little off. I don't know how to fix it, because like I said, I hardly know anything when it comes to poetry, but here are the parts that bothered me:

Words can drive a person mad,
Then over to happy and sad.
You cannot live well without words,
but numbers you can do without quite well.

Numbers are just numbers,
so less complex than words.
Words are letters arranged a certain way,
the letters show depth that only words can convey.

Those two were the worst, I think. The flow is just... awkward. Especially in the last two lines of each.

Numbers tell us how things work,
words tell us why.

I loved this part. ^.^

I don't know how much this helped...
~Azila~

This was a very great poem. Keep up the excellent work. I would love to read more.

Wow.

I'm not kidding.

Wow.

This is one of the best poems that is on the site. No joke. Alice, this is amazing...

There was only one teeny thing I can suggest:

"Can numbers lie?"

This doesn't quite fit, so if you change it to, "Can THESE numbers lie?" would make it sound much much better.

Alzz, this is freaking amazing. I mean it. I loved the ryhming; it didn't feel forced at all. It was totally beautiful and true.

Seriously, you have GOT to get this published. This is amazing and deserves to be read by everyone in the world.

Way to go, soon-to-be-famous-Alice!

BBB

Wow, that was really inspiring. i noticed that in the rhyme scheme didn't match in a few lines, but it was really great. Love the message, i too, hate math and anything having to do w/ numbers.

Words can drive a person mad,
Then over to happy and sad.

Happy and sad are bland words. They're flat. Be colorful in your word choice.

But no,
I say it's words.

Something I would suggest is to remove yourself from the poem and just write what you believe.

Words convey emotions,
in ways numbers do not dare.
Can numbers break a person’s heart?
Can numbers lie?
Numbers tell us how things work,
words tell us why.

I like this stanza. Here, the rhyming works.

You cannot live well without words,
but numbers you can do without quite well.

I disagree because I believe you do need numbers to live--haha. Without numbers you would not have your yummy food, your computer, television, books even because the book binding machines are probably run on programs coded by books. So, numbers are important, but what you should focus on is that numbers can't express rather than their uselessness.

Numbers are just numbers

This is a "Well, Duh" kind of line. Your reader already know this. What is this line saying that matters?

Words are letters arranged a certain way,
the letters show depth that only words can convey.

The first line here is another "duh" line. The second is a good attempt but it also is pretty obvious. "The only words can convey" is a cliché ideal, because everyone says something like "I love you in a way that words can't describe" or something, or emotions can only be expressed in words.

I've already told you I like this--and I do. But I think it could be so much better. Focus harder: what are you trying to say about words? Are you comparing them to numbers, or are you just looking at words? Is this your way to say "I hate math!" or "I love words!" That is probably a big question.

Keep this in mind as well: What do you want your reader to feel/think/do/believe after reading your poem? A good poem will leave the reader with something. And, since your poem is about words, I highly suggest you think hard on word choice, and be as exact and perfect and beautiful is you can possibly get it. Here is a good article on word choice: Word Choice: Right Word, Right Time by Cade.

Consider what kind of imagery (taste, touch, smell, hear, sight) you could use to describe words, how we use them, and why they are important. If you could do that, the poem would be kicked up to a much higher level.

Best of luck.

Some say math is the basis of life.
But no,
I say it's words.

I think that the "but no" messes up the flow of words from the very beginning. Perhaps you could say something to the same effect that keeps the flow.

Some say math is the basis of life. <--- haha, this is funny. Basis is actually a theoretical math term that means something that spans and is linearly independent. Interesting word choice
But no, <--- get rid of comma
I say it's words.
Numbers tell you which goes where,
and how to run things. <--- I don't like this line.
But, oh…not words. <--- don't like "oh" or the ellipse.

Words convey emotions,
in ways numbers do not dare. <--- get rid of these first two lines; they kind of suck.
Can numbers break a person’s heart?
Can numbers lie?
Numbers tell us how things work, <--- these two lines are kind of preachy. I like your examples better.
words tell us why.

Words can drive a person mad,
Then over to happy and sad. <--- I *HATE* this rhyme. It sucks. I mean... it just does. It's like... "Hmmm, what should I rhyme with mad? I know! Sad!" GUH. KILL MY SOUL WITH A RED PEN NOW.
You cannot live well without words,
but numbers you can do without quite well. <--- For some reason, these lines seem a little to tellish. I would probably do away with this stanza and stick with the cool, pretty examples. ^_^

Numbers are just numbers,
so less complex than words. <--- another thing--complex has a different meaning in math, so it's a nice play on words. ^_^
Words are letters arranged a certain way, <-- don't like this line... don't let it rhyme with the last line and then it'll probably be better.
the letters show depth that only words can convey.


Yay! A poem about math! You get brownie points.

Anyway, those are my notes on it. I hope it helps!

Great.!!
I love how you conveyed the message without using foot long fancy words

but in simple short words you expressed the feelings of many writers and people like me who have a tendency to hate maths.

Bravo!

-icy.

I LOVED this so much. This has to be the best poem i've ever read on YWS, if i didn`t already agree with you when i started reading the poem, then you would have had me persuaded by the end

I asked myself these very same questions when my math teacher told me that math rules the world, and i felt like like saying, "if anything, wouldn`t it be language"

any way keep up the great work, and i'm keeping a heads up for your writing

T

loved it and removing yourself from a poem isnt always the best idea to comment on something someone else said