Smile (I Am Leaving)

[intro]

This is it, I came up hood, I leave a legend.

[chorus]

Smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,

[verse one]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I told Rick's ass to shut the fuck up.
Come holla at me in the 419 that's what's up.
2007 is finally come to an end,
I hate my dad and will never make amends.
I came to running from the cops,
I just wish I knew when to stop.


[chorus]

Smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,

[verse two]

I ain't care I'm hood,
Linds. know's I'm good.
She my girl, and I'll treat her right,
She my baby and I'm her knight.
Haters won't break us apart,
I love her with all my heart.

[chorus]

Smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,

[verse three]

I can't believe that 2007 is done,
Bro, I'd like to give your name to my future son.
I got your back Rieda and "greg",
Who messes with you, gets hit by eggs.
Then there's Reak, I'll try to get you to Ricky,
That's a promise, I'll keep.

[chorus]

Smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,
smile, this freestyle might be my last,

[outro]

See, you should be happy. I'm moving on with better
things, I'm not leaving YWS, I'm not killing myself. I'm
walking from the rap game.

I like this, it's crazy but I like rap music so when I read this I can actually hear it on the radio.

Yeah I agree with summer. I could actually hear this as a song. Good job!! Each verse is pretty well thought out and things weren't just thrown in there for a sake of it! So, great job of maintaining a theme in each verse. Also, the chorus seems to tie everything together Overall, a job well done

Cheers,

-starry.

Oh and I apologize if this wasn't incredibly helpful because:
a) I've never reviewed a song so, maybe my review isn't particularly helpful.
b) I don't know how to review something as personal as a song or a poem.

I liked this, as the other girls said, I was reading this as though it was on the radio!!
I like it, i'm not massive on rap but when I hear good rap I love it!!!

Nice work!! I like the way you included your girl in there, thats sweet!!



Dofs...

=O way to go rick..........keep up the good work^_^

good job........keep up the good work ^_^

I liked this - it's definitely radio material. Now I know that as it's a rap it's not supposed to be grammatically correct or anything, but there's one thing that I noticed -

Linds. know's I'm good.

The apostrophe in 'know's' shouldn't be there.

I really liked this anyway. Congrats on being featured member by the way.
Bkwrm

I don't like rap. I despise it. I can't stand the beat that keeps playing over and over and over...

But this was freaking crazy. Dude! For once I'm gonna say I like this rap song.

There were a few parts where you lost me and some stuff that didn't make any sense, but that's rap for me. They never make any sense.

Rick=Awesome! I have your back too and so does "greg".

Love ya!
~Rieda

That was funny. And yeah, I guess this could be radio material. But just to let you know, I'm not maybe the best person to review this since I never listen to rap.

She my girl, and I'll treat her right,
She my baby and I'm her knight.

These lines flowed well, so great.

I live in an all black neighborhood and go to an all black school and all I hear is rap rap rap. It came to a point when I started to hate rap. When I read this, I was pleased to say that I really liked this. It was not like the dirty rap on the radio, because yours had meaning to it. I just wish you give it a beat so I could sing along! Great job.

I didn't particularly like that.
It didn't have a main point... and most of the rap songs that I listen to do. Girls and Sex. So I'm glad your not some gold-digger.

I liked the bit where you said someone would get hit with eggs or something. Too bad this was your last one.

I never knew you were gansta.

Anyway, that was a cool song.

This is the first rap I've read on this, and the first one I've seen from you. It kicked serious.. well, It was really good. Right bang in your face punch. The repetition won it for me, and the rawness of the voice was something that you should definitely proud of. It came from the heart, but you used your head. Great. My favourite bit?

She my girl, and I'll treat her right,
She my baby and I'm her knight.

A mixture of old and new. Brilliant.

Eimear xx

I'm gonna have to interject here and say, this sucks. It really makes no sense, no story, kinda just making rhymes that don't really rhyme, Eh? It really doesn't seem to me like you get the concept of this all. Read some books before trying "rap". I really doubt you grew up in some kind of cop infested hole where illegal activities flourished all the time. So please, don't pretend.

Also, sorry for the double post. Disregard the second one.