general

Rely on No One

When you reach out your hand
And no one takes it
When you cry out for help
And an echo answers you
That’s when you tell yourself
That’s it’s time to face it
That the only one
Whom you can rely on is you
No one’s waiting to catch you
when you fall
No one pats your back
To ease your pain
No one cares that
You’ve given your all
No one gives a damn
That you’re hurt again
This is the time to tell yourself
That you’re all alone
And no one’s there
To hold you
All you can do is
Stand up strong
And leave the past
Behind you
Start anew, knowing
That often in a troubled life
Only one set of footsteps
are on the shore
No one’s there to carry you
Through those lonely times
The truth is
Those footsteps are yours

This poem really doesn't do anything for me...know why? It's because it's a bunch of poorly connected phrases that repeat, without emotion, countless cliches and cries of teen angst. I promise you, you'll do so much better if you stop getting your poetry from pop songs and start writing out your own thoughts in your own words.

Now, go read some poetry. It'll do you so much good.

Also, punctuation is a good and useful thing. Use it, for goodness sake.

-Colleen

Before anyone says anything they'll later regret, I like this.

Try to put some spaces between the stanzas so it could be read properly.

I'm with Cade. This is a regurgitation of all the bad pop songs out there. Your sentiment is strong, your message interesting - but your execution is poor.

I suggest you go back to the beginning and write down what it is you're trying to say in twenty words or less. Then brainstorm some images you connect with this concept, and images you connect with those images, until you've built up your own picture of what it means.

Then come back and write a poem about it.

We want to hear your voice. Find some way to make this idea your own. Otherwise, there's nothing in here we can't read in a dozen other poems. You could also try using a bit more imagery next time

Cheers,
~bubbles

It was all right, it wasn't bad, but the message is pretty cliche. Try using something that could symbolize what you're trying to say, instead of saying it outright. That makes poetry a lot more interesting when you have to try to figure out what the author was trying to get across with symbols.

it was okay, but my question is why isn't there any punctuation at all in this poem? you know... if you read this out loud then it sort of sounds like a song. not one of my favorites...