Half-Blood (a.k.a. A Dragon's Story) Chapter 1

stupidiot92 · 2007-12-20T03:47:17Z

Prologue Ah, death. The thing many fear because they think it is the end of all life. Some want because they believe they will see loved ones that have already died. Others await because they hate the pain life gives. A thing that will claim me soon. A thing I wish will come sooner than it is. In less than a year, I lost the woman I loved, fought in a war, saved a war, got enough injuries to be lying on my death bed now, and saved the human race… for now. Though death has not yet claimed my physical body, it has claimed my soul. I fell in love, something I had hoped to never get involved with though now I see how foolish it was to hope that. She was in my arms as her life slipped through my fingers and out to the oblivion. Chapter 1 Unexpected Guests On a rainy, warm, spring night, a soaked woman had walked into The Scurry, a bar where many mercenaries like me looked for work. She looked like a normal woman: five feet ten inches tall, skinny, blond straight hair, and pale blue eyes. However, there was something about this new guest that was different, but at the time, I couldn’t figure it out. She walked up to the bar and asked Pierre, the barkeeper, “Is there any place to rest around here? I have been traveling for a day straight without rest.” Pierre looked at her arm, started making a drink, and responded, “There are no rooms here, but there is an inn about quarter of a mile down the road. There’s also a hospital around that area. Here have this before you go, it’s on the house.” She thanked him, took the mug of beer, and sat at the table next to mine. It took me a while to notice, but her left sleeve was blood soaked not to mention she barely moved her arm. After she finished her drink, she took the glass back to Pierre and left the bar. Soon after I saw two men with swords at their sides leave. Realizing that those men hadn’t bought anything or even talked the entire time they were there, I left and followed them through the town. As I had suspected, they were heading towards the inn. After they entered the inn, I tried following, but an old friend of mine stopped me. “Ah Serj, it’s been a while. I actually came here to meet with you. I found you a job although it sounds easy it pays a lot,” said David slowly or at least I thought it was slow because I was in a rush. David was my best employer. He was exactly six feet tall with short brown hair, dark brown eyes and he is slightly chubby mostly because he loves to drink beer. Most of his jobs turned out to nearly be the death of me. He has been in my life for as long as I can remember and has helped me so many times when I needed it. “It has been a while, but I am kind of busy right now. Are you staying around here for a while?” I responded quickly. “Yea, why?” “Mind if I talk to you about it in the morning?” “Sure.” After he said that, I left. I could tell that he was very confused at my dismissal. Usually when we met like that, we would go to a bar, have a few drinks, and talk for hours. When I entered the inn, there was one receptionist and she looked very, very tired though not for much longer. I walked up to her and asked, “Have you seen a woman about five feet ten inches tall with blond, straight hair and pale blue eyes?” First she gasped when she looked at me. Then she recognized me, yawned and responded, “Yes, sir.” “Which room is she in?” “Is she a whore because this inn doesn’t accept whores. They attract customers to themselves, but none of their customers buy rooms for themselves.” I was completely surprised by that response so of course I asked, “What?!” “Two of your kind just asked about her as well.” After she said that I grabbed the collar of her shirt and brought our faces close together. I then said in a firm voice, “Which room? I believe she’s in danger.” After a while, she stuttered, “Twenty…twenty three. It’s at the end of the hall.” I had quickly let go of her, though I think I injured her, and ran up the stairs. I then sprinted down the hall. While I was running, my hip hit a doorknob, but being what I am, I didn’t feel anything and the doorknob broke and fell to floor. When I reached room twenty three, I heard wood snap on the other side so I punched the door down. It fell straight backwards and much of the wood had cracked where I had punched it. The door had just missed crushing the girl because, I think, she rolled towards the door to escape. I figured the wood I heard was the bed because it was, of course, snapped in half. I took a look at the two men and noticed that they weren’t men. They weren’t even human. Their eyes looked more like a cat’s eyes, but they still had a slight human appearance. Both of their eyes were a dark gold. Their skin was made of tiny scales, but each had a different color. The taller one’s scales were a light blue color and the shorter ones color was a light gold. One was smiling. His teeth were extremely sharp and he had long claws on his hand. But, I didn’t even need to look in detail; from what the receptionist said I knew they were half dragons. As soon as they saw me, the taller one said, “You! I thought we killed you!” The woman, by now, had moved behind me. After they said that, I showed my claws and teeth with a roar that scared all the other guests out of the inn. They scurried out of the inn through windows, by jumping down the stairs, or by sprinting through the front door. (like i said i need a title so any suggestions would be nice and i need feed back on leaving the main characters description mystery) :D

Teh Wozzinator

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Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:14 am

Teh Wozzinator says... · Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:14 am

i really liked the story and your "half dragon" people, but "The Dragon Story" is way too cliche and generic. try something more like

Dragon Half

ooh, i like that, actually

Go K-State for North Division!!

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DragonWriter

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Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:13 am

DragonWriter says... · Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:13 am

Wow! I love it. However, I feeli like I need more info of the chracters. Give us maybe mnore back ground info. Or Maybee you could just describe the setting better. I dioint know, I just feel like I am pushed into a room without no meaning? No thatr does not sound right, but just add more details. I guess. But I really like the idea. I love the story line, and i beleive that your a great writer. I cannot wait to read more of your work.

Twilight rocks!
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In coclusion, Steaphine Meyer is a rocking, ruling, and kick butt authour!
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ThanatosPrinciple

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Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:37 pm

ThanatosPrinciple says... · Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:37 pm

I thought the story was very well written, but you need to be a bit more descriptive. We only figured out the lady was bleeding after the bartender had glanced at it! We need to know what is happening! Also you should work more on showing than telling. Very well done, overall.

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Tadatori53

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Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:04 am

Tadatori53 says... · Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:04 am

It looks like most of the grammar problems were found already but I did just want to mention one thing.
The first sentence is not a complete sentence so maybe chaning it to "Ah, death: The thing many fear because they think it is the end of all life." Just a collin instead of a period.

I loved the story, though! It was really intersting and I can't wait to read more! I'm a fan of dragons so the title caught my intrest so I agree it should have the word dragon in it

I loved how their were half dragons and I'm intrested to read more! The end was a little weak for some reason, though...I can't figure out why...

"I write for the same reason I breath - because if I didn't, I would die." -Isaac Asimov
"We read frequently if unknowingly, in quest of a mind more original than our own." -Harold Bloom

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