Falling Dreams

Last night I danced on the treetops;
With silver slippers of dew,
We whirled and twirled as moonlight unfurled,
To the nightingale’s honey-glazed coo

And I dreamed that I was falling
Whistling to the ground
And my dewdrops shattered like crystal, a salty, tinkling sound

Last night I swam in the rainbow;
Drinking in colors with glee,
And they bubbled and fizzed as colors whizzed,
Laughter of rainbow ecstasy

And I dreamed that I was falling
Through voices as silent as sound
And below me I saw coming closer, a bare and colorless ground

Last night I slept on a sunbeam;
Wrapped in its warm, fuzzy glow,
And around me the light was a glorious sight,
And I gently rocked to a whispery blow

And I dreamed that I was falling,
Screaming for the light
And around me closing in, was the blackness, dead of night

Tomorrow I shall spin white moonshine;
To blanket the earth below,
And every strand from my spinning hand
To the ground in a row-boat will row

And I will dream that I am falling,
Through an ocean of airy blue
And my milky threads will not catch me, though I shall will them to

And if a dream is a wish your heart makes;
Then I wish not that this not come true But wish instead for a needle and thread
To spin my dreams anew

And I will dream that I am falling,
Sailing down from high,
But my feathery wings will catch me,
And soar me to the sky.

Wow this is so beautiful, I love it.

There's a good rythm all the way through, and your rhymes are great aswell.
I can't find much to comment on, just a few lines where the wording is a bit tricky to swallow.
'To the ground in a row-boat will row'
'Then I wish not that this not come true'

Keep up the good work. Kudos.
Also, do you mind if I put this in my 'featured works' section?

Not at all. Thanks for the comment, I think you're right about those two lines... I'm new and don't really know much about this, If you have any suggestions it would be great.

I feel bad because I only send you good things about your work, and can't think of anything helpful to say.

The only helpful thing I can say is....keep it up. Don't stop. Keep writing, don't lose this. It will take you places.

Would you mind if I shared this with some of my friends?

Awww thank you.... I wouldn't mind at all...




I feel special!

I think this poem flows really well and has a very relaxing quality to it very nice work

This poem was very well-written and beautiful. I agree with kokobeans about those two lines. I would like to give you a suggestion, but I don't want it to ruin your beautiful rythym. I'm not very good at poetry.

And my dewdrops shattered like crystal, a salty, tinkling sound

I absolutely love this line along with your other descriptive phrases. Good work!

To the ground in a row-boat will row

I think it wouldn't disturb the rythym too much to leave out "row" So it would read, "To the ground in a boat will row" I"m not sure.

Then I wish not that this not come true

This phrase is very poetic, but once again, hard to swallow. I would say, "Then I don't wish that this won't come true." That makes me cringe though. Those contractions murder the style of the piece. I really don't know what you could do with that one. Sorry. *smiles sympathetically*

Over all, a beautiful poem. I really enjoyed it.

-Sea-