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And on that burning night

Wolf · 2007-12-07T00:59:56Z

And on that burning night we stood, While the sky blazed crimson above us, And the grass was tipped in flame. The world was on fire, And so was I. Dizzy from the heat of my passion, I reached out with trembling fingers While my emotions swelled like waves within me, Crashing, rolling-- And I touched your brow And felt the sweat and saw it shine, Your eyes a violent sea, As you realized What I meant. The clouds tinged with scarlet, And the sun a fiery eye Setting over the hill and turning it gold. We're all so beautiful, But not as beautiful As you; You, with lines of perfect musculature, Etched beneath smooth skin And a peerless gaze, penetrating mine... I felt the brush of your hand against my fingers And fell into the sky. Vertigo, clouds of flame, And still the touch of your hand Against my fevered skin, As I fell with an impact, like red glass shattering. The withdrawal of your hand Brought me back to reality, But it didn't feel like reality anymore-- I was on fire. One glance through wondering eyes-- Because even if you are drowning in joy, You are still drowning. ------------- Ok, I decided to try poetry again. But I didn't just write this randomly...I was inspired. :wink: I hope it isn't as cliched as my last, erm, attempt... Anyways, feel free to tear this to pieces. It's only a rough draft. :)

Wolf

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Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:51 pm

Wolf says... · Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:51 pm

Thanks Suzanne!
You're right - I did write this more for myself than the reader. And lol, I also like the last bit. Heehee.
I will probably switch perspectives around in this, to make the reader feel for the people. How, I'm not sure, but I'll try.

everything i loved
became everything i lost.

Would you like a review?
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic73903.html

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"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites

And on that burning night

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