This World

Treachery
betrays
Lies
inside
That hide
Asleep
Forever
or more
Until
Someone
Reveals
the truth
It's blind
to all
who see
Right through
Lies
betrayal
treason
Truth
is gone
when did
it leave
us here
to rot
in our
own death
Our beds
we make
of hate
and danger
The futile
attempts
to save
our race
It's doomed
you see
There's naught
to do
but watch
as we
burn to
the ground
in lies
betraying
treachery

I found the one-word lines rather annoying and without purpose. Especially since there were alot of repeated words. And especially here:

Truth
is gone
when did
it leave
us here
to rot
in our
own death
Our beds
we make
of hate

when there are two one-syllable words per line, it gets this pounding beat that distracts me.

and danger
The futile
attempts
to save
our race
It's doomed
you see
There's naught
to do
but watch
as we
burn to
the ground
in lies
betraying
treachery

Here, the poem doesn't really say much. It gives a general idea , rehashed with the same words as before.

I think I might have liked this poem if it were shorter and had gotten to the point quicker, or if it had been in more traditional stanza form, and the main idea had been expanded upon.

I have to say I actually enjoyed reading this. It has a good, if depressing, point, and though it was ackward in some parts, I still like it. I'm not sure why you formatted it like this, but overall, I'd give it a six outa ten.

This
poem
used
line
breaks
too
much.
And
let's
face
it:
Line
breaks
can
be
used
for
good
or
for
evil.
This
critique,
for
example
is
using
it
for
evil
so
I
can
demonstrate
a
point.
Not
only
is
reading
this
critique
difficult
but
it
makes
your
eyes
not
process
the
words
as
well
and
instead
of
reading
the
critique
for
what
it
is,
it
uses
a
completely
silly
style
which
draws
more
attention
to
the
words
and
less
on
the
meaning.

Which is what your poem is doing.

Remember!
Content
is
King!

I'm in agreement....one word lines are not friends.

If you use one word lines it allows for no rhythm. I find myself having no idea what you are talking about because I have to keep flipping lines and it's just really annoying. Try a rhythm; a flow. Most the time when you see a one word/line poem its either making a point about one word/line poems (see above with snoinkers) or it's an attempt to make the poem longer and seem more thought out. Or it's a really bad acrostic poem. Either way, none of them are favorable.