Young Writers Society

JackBauerHasABaldSpot · 2007-11-07T02:32:30Z

I'll agree that this is really stupid (I mean absol utely stupid!), but don't take it seriously. If you do, you might get sorely offended....just remember, this is strictly a parody. If you want to, just put your brain on the shelf and go ahead and read. I like to think it's a little funny, but I could be wrong... ____________________________ Scene I: Fan Fic Script for FANGS! (Exclamation point required) E: (walks across the parking lot and holds out his hand) Hello, my name is Edward Colon. B: Bella (shakes his hand, then laughs). Poor you. E: Why? B: Your last name. E: What about it? B Come on, you know... E: No, what? B: Well I don't know, it's your last name. E: Yeah. Colon. B: Don't you see it...? E: What? B: Your name! E: What do you mean? B: What do you mean what do I mean? That's worse than Stain, or Barf Bag, or McLovin'! E: Oh, Superbad? I love that freakin' movie! " I am McLovin'! " But what does that have to do with my last name? B: It sounds nasty! E: How? You're making no sense! B: You moron! Colon! Colon! E: Yeah...so... B: Oh, nevermind, you idiot. E: What did you just call me? (gets mad and shoots her) Oops. (silence) Oh! I get it! (walks away) E: Hey Alice! Guess what this girl just told me! **** Scene II (B enters classroom) M: Hi, I'm Mik. B: Hi, Mike, I'm Bell-- M: Uh, it's Mik, Mik . Like prick. Or d-- Teach: Okay, class, in your seats. NOW! B: (walks to her seat) Oh, crap. E: Hello, Bessie. B: My name's Bella. E: Right. How's your leg? B: You shot me. E: I know. How is it? B: You shot me. E: Yeah. Are you okay? B: You shot me three times. My leg almost came off. I'm limping. E: My dad said you would. He operated on you, didn't he? B: Yeah, so? You shot me! E: I know! Hey...(sniffs the air) You smell good! (Silence) E: Really good! (more silence) E: (whispers) Hey, Bree. (silence, taps her desk) E: Breeee (silence) Breeee (pokes her with his pencil) Bree! B: Ow! I'm bleeding! (looks at E) What? E: (waves) Hi. (sees the blood) Uh-oh... **** Scene III (B enters home) B: Hi Dad. C: Hi. B: Can you help me up the stairs? C: Why? You can walk. B: I got shot, Dad. With your gun. C: Hey, it's not my fault he stole it. B: Yes it is! You left it in a bathroom! C: So? You pissed him off. B: He's an idiot! C: With a gun. He's the last person I'd mess with. B: You're the sheriff. C: Without a gun! What do you think I am, stupid? B: (mutters) Yes. C: What? B: Nothing! Help me up the stairs! C: Oh, Edward called. He says he's sorry. B: It's about time! Is he giving the gun back? C: Not for that, for poking you in Biology. It was an accident. B: What? He apologizes for that ? C: Yeah...(silence) C: What's for dinner? **** Scene IV (B sees E in parking lot) E: Oh, hi Belinda. (smacks him)Ouch! What'd you do that for? B: You apologize for poking me with a pencil but not for shooting me? You could've killed me! E: It was an accident. And a pencil can't kill you. B: Not the pencil, the gun! E: I never poked you with a gun. B: No! You shot me! Three times! E: I did? (B stares while he thinks) Oh yeah! (laughs) I remember it like it was yesterday. B: It was yesterday! E: What? No. (shakes his head) It was a long time ago. B: I've only known you for two days! E: Whatever. You wanna go to Seattle with me tomorrow? (B glares at him) What? B: You... shot me... E: So? B: What guys shoots a girl, then asks her out> E: Maybe that's his way of saying he likes her. B: By shooting her? E: Hey, some guys flirt differently. I didn't make it that way. Anyway, wanna go? B: I---! (rolls her eyes and sighs) Oh, what the hell. E: Cool. See you, Britney. B: Bella! It's Bella you idiot! E: (turns around) What? (tries to shoot her but there's no bullets, so he throws it at her, knocking her out) (silence) E: Oops. See you tomorrow! _______________________ And keep your eyes out for the sequels to Twilight's FANGS! : The movie based on New Moon (FUR!) And, of course, the movie based on Eclipse (FIGHT!) (Heh, heh, heh, just kidding...)

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The Movie for Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

a_kittens_claws

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Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:14 pm

a_kittens_claws says... · Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:14 pm

Ahaha! Thanks for that! You made my day!

I LOVED it!

Did you steal my mayonaise? Oh well. I don't care. Mayo sucks anyway.

-Sydney:)

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irishfire

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Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:30 pm

irishfire says... · Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:30 pm

*stands up in seat and applauds* You are a genius my friend! Lol, I loved it! Charlie was awesome!

Keep up the awesome work!

-Irish :elephant:

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. - Robert McCloskey

Teacher: What do we, in the U.S enjoy from places like Mexico?
Student: Wait, legally?

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The Movie for Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

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